Tips on getting separation from self-experience in contemplation?

[kieranperez]

One of the things that really staggers me in contemplation into the truth of who and what I am is how pervasive and how welded my sense of self is. Contemplation is hard because the self as a constant fixed rigid and repetitive sense of experience is like a tree so deeply rooted to the ground you can’t pull it out. The more I get a little free, the more self “fights back”. For me as far as my own experience of my self comes as a feeling. It’s almost like it’s a bodily thing in that it feels stuck in my body. That’s the most accurate way I can think of right now to explain this.

Any tips for moving beyond this? I’ve been trying to really question this self experience as not me so as to break down this attachment but how I’m pretty confused about that. 

How do you question something so deeply that this whole experience that feels like this living thing that’s holding this whol act together falls apart? 

I’ve been trying to really focus on the other end of the spectrum and just get what’s true right now regardless of all the self conceptual survival mechanisms but again... this whole thing, this whole experiential activity feels so deeply rooted and living that it feels like an anchor. 

[Consilience]

For me surrender has been key. Contemplation on this topic was extremely effective at the beginning of my path, and it still is when it comes to dissecting the ways in which the self structure operations in terms of addictions, cravings, desires, life stories, bottom line beliefs, etc...

but when it comes to getting “separate” which I think you really mean dis-identifying with the self structure, I find that sitting and literally doing nothing (total surrender) but letting being/existence unfold for 60 mins per day is better than contemplation for the purposes of embodying the fact that I am not the ego structure. As Ive done this practice of totally being/surrendering to myself, it becomes increasing obvious that I am not the ego. 

I also find contemplation spurs the mind rather than stills. The mind cannot know truth, so it asking questions to itself will not yield any meaningful result other than keeping itself focused, hopefully producing a leap in consciousness. But! I already know (and I think you may too) that you arent the ego. So how much can you surrender and embody this truth? That’s the next step. Total embodiment; total surrender to that which is true. As you increase this embodiment, you’ll discover deeper and deeper truths about what you are.