Surprise visit during LSD trip (175ug)

[Mihael Keehl]

 

This unfortunate incident took place one year ago, when I first started experimenting with psychedelics. In retrospect, it is a funny story to tell, but at that time, it was horrible and it left a few scars in my psyche.

 

1. First high dose

I had only two psychedelic trips before, one mild trip with 75ug and one with 125ug. In the second trip with 125ug, I had a glimpse of the potential of psychedelics. They showed me how much repressed emotions there was in my subconscious that I need to work through. I also became aware of awareness itself for the first time in my life, which was like waking up for the first time in 22 years. With this trip, I wanted to go deeper.

 

2. Surprise

I took 175ug and started preparing some fruits for later. After about 40 minutes I had the feeling that the substance kicks in so I layed on my bed in silent darkness (advice from Terrence). Before the trip, I even taped black garbage bags on my windows to make the room completely dark, so I can sleep better and don't get distracted during the trip.

I was laying in bed and it was clear to me that the trip was unfolding, I had a definite sense that this is going to be a pretty strong trip. I felt completely open and ready to get bombarded with profound insides.

But suddenly, the doorbell rang. It scared me a LOT. I was hoping that it was just the postman, but the doorbell rang again and again and again which made me very scared. I was not ready to interact with anybody during this intense experience so I decided to hide under the blanket and to wait until the visitor goes away. But the doorbell didn't stop ringing. After 4 or 5 minutes of this constant and painful doorbell noise, it was clear to me that the visitor would not stop. I had to give up pretending that I was not at home (even though no one could have known that I was at home that day), so I stood up, turned the lights on and opened the door while being in the middle of the LSD peak. (As soon as I turned the lights on I was seeing the typical LSD open eye visuals)

 

3. Sooo... I bought this new wardrobe

It was my older sister. She has never visited me on surprise before (I live in a small apartment in a different city then her). We always got along pretty good but we were not super close. I never told her about my plans to try psychedelics. She was pregnant at that time and had other things on her mind so I didn't wanted to bother her with such a sensitive topic.

After an awkward greeting she came into my room. She was surprised, because it took me a very long time to open the door and I was obviously acting very different than when I am sober (also the black garbage bags on my windows did not help to make a good impression). My sister had a “what is going on?” look on her face. She told me that the reason for her visit was that she and her boyfriend needed help with carrying a new wardrobe that they have bought, which had to be carried up to the third floor.

Carrying a big ass wardrobe in my current psychedelic state? I don't think so. I thought about how to explain to my sister what was going on without freaking her out, but I could not come up with anything good, so I asked her: “have you ever heard about LSD?”

I hoped she would somehow connect the dots and understand that I am doing it for spiritual growth because we had a lot of conversations about spirituality before and she seemed to be very interested in this topic (but we never talked about psychedelics).

 

Unfortunately she reacted very bad. The look on her face turned from “what is going on?” into “WHAT THE FUCK!?”.

I can not remember exactly what she said, I can only remember this pieces of the dialogue:

Sister: You took LSD??

Me: Yes

Sister: Can you still help me with the wardrobe?

Me: At my current state, I can not do anything, haha.

 

Then, my angry sister just ran out of my apartment before I had the chance to explain myself. I thought that if she runs away now, then I will probably have some sort of trauma after this, so I told her please don't go, while she was about to leave the hall of the building. She turned around and asked me “You took LSD? Are you insane?”, and then she left the building.

I was devastated...

That was such a shocking moment that I was standing paralyzed in my room for 2 hours crying and asking myself „Did this really happened?“. It seemed so surreal, I did not even managed to close the door of my apartment. I tried to call her but she did not pick up the phone.

I started getting thoughts that I really was going insane which lead to a horrible feeling that I did something very bad and that there is something fundamentally wrong with me. Insecurities started to pop up and I felt like I was being a drug addict who used “spirituality” to justify taking drugs to run away from life. I also became paranoid and thought that it was not just an accident, but the universe trying to tell me that I am fucking up my life.

 

4. I called a friend

I knew that I was getting into a very negative spiral so I called a good friend and told him what happened. He picked me up and we went into a forest to go for a walk. After he picked me up I felt much better. The rest of the trip was positive and we had a great time just walking in the forest and talking. In the evening, when my trip was over, he drove me back home. I felt much better but the feeling, that something is wrong with me, remained. After a few hours I managed to go to sleep.

For a long time, this experience made me very angry towards my sister, but now we get along again.

It also caused my next trip to go very hairy, which scared me away from psychedelics for almost a year. Maybe I will post a trip report about that one later.

 

There is a quote from Timothy Leary, which fits this story very well. He said: “LSD can sometimes cause psychotic behavior in people who have never taken it”.

 

Thank you for reading

 

 

 

 

[iTommy]

Thank you for posting. I'm glad that you were able to end the trip in a good way. Hold on to that friend of yours  

[Mihael Keehl]

thanks for your reply, great video

[universe]

Thanks for posting! Very informative and entertaining