Experiencing God's Mind on LSD + lessons from 6 trips

[111111]

Hi,

here are my unedited short summaries of the trips with specified date of tripping:

(note: All trips were done alone (my room) during the night, except the third one. The 5th and 6th trip were reported the following day)

(the 4 below reported in mid JAN)
--- 06 DEC 2018 --- (1)
130ug of LSD = Very radical from expectations. Increased awareness of the "Game of Lights" projected upon "Being". Highly therapeutic effect. A lot of other effects.

--- 14 DEC 2018 --- (2)
260ug of LSD = Complete dissolution of self. The mind divided into the divine self and the screaming ego from the depths of being. Ego constantly screaming "there is something important, you're supposed to focus on previous theory and make something out of it" and the Divine Self answering with compassion. Launched a Leo video and while I understood his words, they appeared to be of zero importance.

--- 23 DEC 2018 --- (3)
470ug of LSD = While lying on bed the dose kicked in SUPER HARD. In like 15 seconds I was swallowed by the bed, then the entire reality + me collapsed upon itself. For at least 6hr I and the world were completely GONE, except for when I went to pee. Walking to the sink during those 6hr felt like being THE CARTOON (not in it, I was gone).
I especially value the effects after 12hr (trip lasted 22hr) because mental clarity kicked in and the mind was exceptionally good at sourcing insights. There were 2 insights.

--- 04 JAN 2019 --- (4)
220ug of LSD = Heard the Divine Voice. Somehow I still remember it but at the same time I can't replicate it in my head. Note that it wasn't a distortion of music playing, because when I removed headphones I was still hearing it.
Saw how reality is similar to infinite fractals with the purpose of expressing God's beauty.
(the 4 above reported in mid JAN)

--- 12 JAN 2019 --- (5) (reported 13 JAN)
330ug of LSD = UNUSUAL TRIP (there was a strong sense of consciousness thru the trip, which was almost completely absent on previous trips). Experiencing the mind of God. Getting a decent sneak peak into how I exist within the fractal reality. Seeing how reality is striving towards union. Out of Love for Love. Hearing once again the divine voice. A very interesting experience on how I exist as a "creature". Once the beam of awareness beamed upon itself, asking what it is: Just God's Perception/Nothingness/Illusion.

--- 25 JAN 2019 --- (6) (reported 26 JAN)
220ug of LSD = FAILED TRIP. 30 min after I took the tabs, the neighbor from beneath got his hanging clothes on fire because of the idiot neighbor from above. So just as the trip started to begin, I began to worry that my parents might wake up and interrupt me/catch me tripping during peak. Also I lit some candles which added the additional worry that someone from the street might think it was my fault (again, the idiot from above confirmed later that he caused the fire). This incident caused the trip to be by far the worst and least productive one.

### Below I'll go into more depth after weeks of integration and figuring out the blurry maze:

 The most fruitful trips were 1,3 and especially 5. Leo's latest vids and additional studying clarified the many insights and states I experienced. Let's start by describing the most beautiful 10 minutes of life: the peak of the 5th trip.

 (5) For whatever reason I was WAY more sensible to LSD on that day. After just 5 minutes (looked at stopwatch, not by possibly different time-perception) I started feeling it entering my body. Drinking 0,5l of strong tea just before the peak added additional alertness. During the peak I experienced a singular source which was giving birth to infinite/fractal like bubbles of perception, my ego was one of those bubbles. However during the peak I was the nothingness outside those bubbles. A week or two after the trip it occurred to me it was exactly like Leo's sponge metaphor in "What is Perception?" episode. The godly voice at 38:45 ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXhhpxt_OoI ) soaked into my mind so fucking hard, I was just hearing it in a loop without headphones (and labeled it the divine voice in my report above).

During the morning I walked thru the city and saw how the stuff around me was just a "beauty fractal". Beauty leaking thru everything.

I re-confirmed one insight which repeated almost in all trips: How absolutely everything was interconnected and moving towards one single union. It was very hard to logically process it (though experientially easy to bring back from memory) and put it in words, but over time it became more clear.

(3) This one was so radically different from the rest. Changing the dosage just a little made exponentially more difference. Taking 470ug was by far the most mentally exhausting 22 hours of my life. And yes the trip lasted this long))) I took the dose early morning.

So I took the tabs and the waiting for the kick-in was as usual. However at 1hr+ the dose kicked in super hard and super fast. It felt like enjoyable dying. For 5 minutes nice visuals, then I was literally falling thru my bed (not physically) and then the whole fucking world collapsed onto me and VANISHED (all in a few seconds).

It was the only trip where I completely lost my shit (self-control). For example, 6hr after vanishing I was running thru the apartment like a wild animal (thank god didn't hurt myself or jump from the window, really should have trip sitter at this high doses) having absolutely zero idea what the fuck was going on. My mind was shattered into hundreds of pieces and at 8hr I was trying to literally construct my ego back from those broken pieces.  And I was so incredibly conscious of the ego reconstructing  process.

Note that I did open my eyes while going to pee between 4-6hr, but it wasn't done by me. Hard to explain, but it was literally a dreamy/euphoric cartoon and my body was a part of/controlled by it.

I invited my friend over at 12hr to bless him with some LSD. I was trying to cook pasta when he came but my sense of space was completely fucked (felt like my left arm was floating thru the room) so I handed the task to him. After nourishing my body with energy, I blessed my friend (waited 1,5hr for his belly to digest the food) with his first ever trip (gave him 220ug so he would have a break-thru, he's well developed so no worry).  He had radically different trip then my trips, proving that it all differs from person to person.

At around 16-18hr it was extremely easy to source out insights, because the LSD still had strong effects but I had some mental clarity. One big insight was experiencing the infinite sphere which contained all possible forms inside it. It's like a block of sand, which contains lots of forms depending on how you look at them.

Talking with my best friend while both under LSD was one of a kind experience. I regained self-control when his peak kicked-in.

At 20hr I tried to sleep but couldn't because effects were still strong. For example at 21hr while watching Blade Runner 2049 the image was 3d and sounds really heightened.

(1) https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/28760-insane-results-from-my-first-ever-lsd-trip/#comment-331316

###

Conclusions:

LSD is an incredibly powerful tool, and I'm extremely happy I didn't listen to guys telling me to not do it weekly under my second trip report (which I deleted because it was too honest for them and too toxic for me). What really motivated me to write this post is to confirm Leo's words that yes, you can realize God and go really deep with stuff like LSD (and it's WAY easier to get then 5Meo). However you need a very healthy mind. Before doing those trips I've been doing self-development for 4-6 years and worked on my psyche pretty good. For example my friend (which did way less work then me) had worse results on both of his trips. He experienced a lot of regret and ego resistance while I had none of these.

I listened to my intuition and glad that I did it!

Overall the trips were like going thru a blurry yet intimate psyche-maze . With the exception of the 5th trip (and second half of third trip), which all of a sudden was soaked with consciousness and zero confusion. By confusion I mean when most of your brain is activated it's very hard to concentrate only on one part of it which responds for talking or memory. Example: on 4th trip I was looking at the stopwatch (counting from taking the tabs) after peak and making very hard effort to remember what was the purpose of it. Setting "goals" before LSD trips proved completely useless most of the time.

These trips made lifelong changes on my mind. Wish everyone could experiment (starting small doses for average folk and below) with LSD, because it's highly therapeutic and hard to not benefit from it. Even my 6th "failed" trip did had it's purpose. (One other insight I had during all trips is that everything has it's purpose)

PS. Has anyone tried Modafinil/Armodafinil + LSD (so they'll peak at the same time) ? I'd like to recreate the sudden presence of awareness during the 5th trip by combining the two.

PSS. The reason I specified the reporting dates so clear is to highlight how many insights have a lot of similarities with Leo's 13 awakenings latest vid, especially the fractal parts, even though I reported that long before watching his latest vids. (It's very easy to fall into the trap of confirming other Guru's words, instead of sourcing out the Truth for yourself)

Out of Love for Love!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Leo Gura]

@111111 Fun read  Good stuff if not a bit manic.

Be very careful mixing psychedelics with modafinil. Reports seem to suggest that it's not a good combo. But I have not verified it personally.

Yes, LSD is a very powerful tool, not to be taken lightly.

[peanutspathtotruth]

1 hour ago, 111111 said:

--- 23 DEC 2018 --- (3)
470ug of LSD = While lying on bed the dose kicked in SUPER HARD. In like 15 seconds I was swallowed by the bed, then the entire reality + me collapsed upon itself. For at least 6hr I and the world were completely GONE, except for when I went to pee. Walking to the sink during those 6hr felt like being THE CARTOON (not in it, I was gone).
I especially value the effects after 12hr (trip lasted 22hr) because mental clarity kicked in and the mind was exceptionally good at sourcing insights. There were 2 insights.
 

Damn. Never went above 420ug. 22 hours is crazy... Even my 420ug trip didn't exceed 12 hours. 
Did you fast before taking it?

[111111]

@Leo Gura 

34 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Good stuff if not a bit manic.

I'm quite paranoid by nature)

One thing I completely forgot to mention is how incredibly familiar was the experience of God's mind. It was so obvious!

Edited April 6, 2019 by 111111

[111111]

@peanutspathtotruth

14 minutes ago, peanutspathtotruth said:

Did you fast before taking it?

YES I did fast before third trip. Didn't eat for 12hr before taking the dose.

 

14 minutes ago, peanutspathtotruth said:

Damn. Never went above 420ug. 22 hours is crazy... Even my 420ug trip didn't exceed 12 hours.

Slight dosage difference completely changes the trip. The 2nd trip was a dozen times more powerful compared to 1st trip even though the dosage was only double. The 3rd trip was radically different to 5th even though only 130ug difference.

I probably won't do over 500ug because it's VERY exhausting.

 

[peanutspathtotruth]

@111111 Lol "only" double. "Only 130ug"  130 in itself can be super intense. 
Very exhausting indeed. That's why I tried some 4-Aco-DMT, it's way shorter. But of course not the same type of effect as LSD. Not worse though, more like shrooms.

[111111]

@peanutspathtotruth

20 minutes ago, peanutspathtotruth said:

@111111 Lol "only" double. "Only 130ug"  130 in itself can be super intense. 
Very exhausting indeed. That's why I tried some 4-Aco-DMT, it's way shorter. But of course not the same type of effect as LSD. Not worse though, more like shrooms.

A few crazy guys did 1000ug. Like WTF. I'm afraid to imagine what it would be like, probably some serious brain damage. 470ug was already a mind-melting experience.

Can't remember the name of some famous teacher requesting a high dose of LSD on his deathbed, great way to go out))) Though I would take 5Meo in his place.

[peanutspathtotruth]

@111111 Yes even 1500 I heard of. There's also this shaman guy we once posted a video of here who did like 20-30 grams of mushrooms. It's a completely different drug in these calibers, no one here has an idea. You just have to try  But I agree, I would be scared to damage my brain

[traveler]

your 4th and 5th trip is very similar to an experience I had smoking weed alone one day. First time I have smoked alone, with the intention of having a breakthrough. I experienced it as if my whole life had been lead up to this exact point, where everything I ever believed in disappeared in the matter of "seconds". I disappeared into infinite fractals (I was laying under a tree, and the branches turned into the fractals I became/was.) Funny thing is I put on a meditation by mooji just before my breakthrough, and I was hearing gods voice through him. Every time a personal thought came into this infinite space and there was a little believe, I could see the fractals going back into reality, and then back into fractals everytime I realized the non truth of the thoughts. This was going on for eternity. Thoughts I remember was thoughts like "is this really gonna go for eternity" and then an amazing insight would come and bliss me out. Suddenly I was back in my body and the 18 minute meditation was still going, I looked around and what I was met with was simply awe-inspiring. Out of nothing all of this was created. Everything is literally god playing with himself. I went home and went on youtube, and I was hearing every guru that I listened to before in totally different light. I (god) was talking through all of these people to myself, about how to navigate this "game" I have made. I was amazing myself with the reality that I created as If it was the first time I had ever heard it. A video I remember I saw at this point was this: 

I was talking to myself through these to guys, and the insights were amazing. A very big insight that I had was that everything does wake up when you wake up. From the standpoint of god, everything is god.