Give me 1 reason to not end it now.

[Paul92]

As the title suggests, give me one reason.

I simply cannot live in a world where I cannot celebrate our individuality. I can't live in a world where I can't love another person.

People are illusions.

If am nothing.

Maybe it was always meant to be like this. This piece of awareness destroys itself.

I loved there being a me and you. I loved that. It made the world a colourful place. We are all here together, as individuals, trying to make the best of it. But we're not, are we?

I can't do this any longer. A couple of days ago I came so close to putting a knife through my arm. Today, I will do it.

[Paul92]

@David Hammond  I'm afraid that makes zero sense. There is no you or me. The only you or me that exists is the ego you or me. Which is not a thing.

[Jkris]

@Paul92 People are not illusions. Please get your understanding right. 

Real means that which is ever present. Rest all come and go meaning the physical bodies dont have permanant existence. So it is not an illusion. But it is not real. 

And again " they"  say they are nothing as well as everything. Though i don't understand what that means. 

Again 99.9999% people are living as individuals normal human beings. It is your own creation that individuality is not valued I can't love another person. 

You need some serious help. Meet some therapist.

And please don't bring enlightenment here. You say you are not enlightened but keep quoting nothingness etc. 

Offcourse you cannot take the help for yourself. Tell your parents friends about your mental state they will help you. 

Ending the life is not a solution for a small issue like a breakup. Be a man. 

[Paul92]

@Jkris Again, that makes zero sense. You have no explained at all why my understanding is wrong. Everything I have said is exactly how everyone here is trying to understand it.

This is not about a breakup.

[Paul92]

@David Hammond I think I have. There is no you, there is no me. So how can there be individuals. Makes zero sense.

[Jkris]

@Paul92 if you are in a normal state of mind it will make sense to you. Since you are not. You are depressed may be schizophrenia so try to get serious medical and theraphist help. 

No body here is trying to understand anything what you imagine and keep repeating like a parrot with out realisation you and me are illusions. 

Jagath mytha brahmam sathyam - meaning awareness or absolute alone is permanant real rest all are impermanant. Go and learn scriptures from proper Advaitha teacher. 

Be free and live a blissful life. Get married have children make money contribute what ever possible to the society. 

[Forestluv]

@Paul92 Emptiness is only depressing when it is misunderstood. 

[Paul92]

@Shiva I struggle to see how you can love an illusion. Wouldn't that be loving your ego too? All this would suggest that the goal is not ego death, which is contrary to all of this. It makes no sense.

If I love someone, I love their personality, their traits, their humour, their views and opinions on life, their skills etc. Take this away and there is nothing. Nothing to love.

@David Hammond Yes, but then in the next breathe you will be saying that the self is an illusion and not 'you'. It makes zero sense. I know the self is an illusion. The ego is nonsense. But it is all we have.

[Paul92]

@David Hammond I'm never going to get that experience though. It's clear to me that the world is not everything that I thought it was. And that's hard. I can sit looking at a tree all day, trying to clear my mind and saying that I don't understand what it is, but what will that do? Basically you're saying be comfortable with not really knowing anything. I suppose that is possible, but what is the motivation for anything? When I could just say you know what, I've had a good run, had some wonderful experiences with some things I thought were wonderful people, but fuck it, call it a day. Why delay the inevitable.

I want to die. Simply as that. It's just doing it.

[Paul92]

@David Hammond  You're suggesting I just focus on my breathe in everything that I do? Always?

[Salvijus]

 

Edited April 8, 2019 by Salvijus

[bejapuskas]

2 hours ago, Paul92 said:

@David Hammond  I'm afraid that makes zero sense. There is no you or me. The only you or me that exists is the ego you or me. Which is not a thing.

No, there is you and the ego does not exist   Please don't leave, you can go through this. Once you are in it, you cannot take your decision back, it is not a good idea.

Edited April 6, 2019 by bejapuskas

[OBEler]

3 steps to enlightenment:

1. The mountain is a mountain

2. The mountain is not a mountain

3. The mountain is a mountain again

Give yourself time to find out.  Everyone goes through this process. There is delusion, confusion and craziness on the way.  Illusion will be reality again and when it comes back you will love reality 1000 times more. Take deep breaths and have faith 

 

[Dust2Life]

Hello Paul. I am currently struggling to survive as well. The one thing that keeps me from doing it is that there is a great likelihood that this is all there is, and if that is the truth, then this is my only opportunity to exist at all. I don't want to waste that opportunity. 

 

You seem focused on finding meaning, and I get that. So go find it. Death is not the path to anything. It's the path to nothing. Do everything that you are too scared to do, and realize that it is less scary than the idea of not being. Talk to the stranger, go to school, share your creations... do everything that you are scared to do.. then you'll find that you aren't thinking about finding a way out as much.. you are thinking about that adrenaline rush that you get when you continue to overcome the fears that have been limiting your life. 

 

Take care of yourself Paul. I'll try to do the same.  

[bejapuskas]

@Dust2Life Stay strong 

[Paul92]

@Dust2Life  Sorry to hear you're struggling. I'm just getting to the point where I feel nothing is preferable to whatever this is.

@Fortunate Son I'm really sorry to hear that. But I'm glad you're in a stable place now. I just can't see how I will ever get my old life back. It simply can't be done. This nondual stuff has shattered my life. Is it even my life? Issues of free will etc... I just don't think we have it.

I've sat down today several times and really contemplated ending it all. I've even set it up. My mind wanted to but my body wouldn't do it. Maybe tomorrow, who knows.

[Joseph Maynor]

People are not illusions.  What is that which says that people are illusions?  That's the Mind saying that.  The Mind is that which says things are this or that.  

Edited April 7, 2019 by Joseph Maynor

[Paul92]

@Joseph Maynor  So what is it that says the ego is false?

[mandyjw]

On 4/6/2019 at 6:43 AM, Paul92 said:

As the title suggests, give me one reason.

I simply cannot live in a world where I cannot celebrate our individuality. I can't live in a world where I can't love another person.

People are illusions.

If am nothing.

Maybe it was always meant to be like this. This piece of awareness destroys itself.

I loved there being a me and you. I loved that. It made the world a colourful place. We are all here together, as individuals, trying to make the best of it. But we're not, are we?

I can't do this any longer. A couple of days ago I came so close to putting a knife through my arm. Today, I will do it.

You CAN, you really can. Put the knife through your heart, metaphorically and be one with us. We will see your colors and dance with you. In form, in person. Your beautiful personality will only strengthen. You were born onto this planet to be a part of the whole. You are who you are. become yourself fully. 

Your body is your temple. Do not destroy it, love it.

I love you. You got this. I'm here for you.

What is your favorite color?

[Paul92]

@mandyjw  I don't even know who 'myself' is though!! Is it Paul, but just the 'real' Paul. Or is no Paul, and something else Paul doesn't know?

My body is not my body. It never was, it never will be.

Purple and some blues.