Downward spiral

[Moonturnsthetides]

Almost 2 years ago my life flipped upside down and I’m barely holding on from it. Broke up with my gf of 11 years (I was 17 when we got together she was 28), I helped raise her child (who was 4 when I met her), lost our house, my job, my dogs, my life so I thought. I’ve been running ever since then and she moved on and is now with a guy just 6 months after (I’m a female). I don’t know what to do with myself. My car just got repossessed and I can’t hold down a job anymore. I don’t see the point of existing into society anymore. It’s all one giant facade. I have had suicidal ideation for awhile and now on medication, but I still just don’t see what’s the point of doing anything. Does anyone else feel so stuck in their lives? In the grand scheme of things I would love to leave and travel, but you need some sort of income and plan to do that, but I’m like I don’t even care if I miss out anymore. Why am I like this? I don’t want to play the victim, but I’m just so lost and frustrated. 

[Nahm]

@Moonturnsthetides

I’m sorry for all that. It’s likely to take a while to heal. Be open to every resource. It is true, what doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger. It’s often when all is lost, and loss is accepted, that we begin to discover just how powerful we are. If you haven’t, you will, very soon. Look for your True unconditional self. I know it’s hard, but - pen & paper, forgive. Today. Don’t delay your healing. 

Choose where to concentrate your power; repetition of the past in the stage of the mind, or healing, empowerment, understanding. 

A reiki class would serve you well. Bring Kleenex. 

 

You can not solve a problem with the same mind which created it. Einstein.

You can not experience a ‘new’ consciousness without emptying the ‘old’ one. Spira.

Be the change you wish to see in the world. Gandhi. 

 

Keep talking it out, keep expressing on paper, keep open to the resources the universe is. Do not give up on yourself. Ever. Keep coming back to yourself, and let the thoughts be. 

This is a good place for healing, and love, and self understanding. So keep going. Keep questioning. Keep asking. Keep healing. When you find yourself in thought story, return to your heart. Do not despair.  

 

“Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again , come , come.” Rumi