I just don't know what I am.

[Nadosa]

I know I am no one but still my mind seeks and seeks automatically and I cant stop feeling like I am no one and feeling so anxious about it because I keep thinking what and who is experiencing this moment then. I cant "distance" myself from thinking when I dont feel like there is "a secure" place where I can rest in distance. So I am rather in thoughts or inbetween, but since my awakening I havent been in a "secure" place at all. Meaning meditation is kinda troubling because I feel insecure, like not like a person, nor like consciousness, it is just there: a feeling of pure insecurity.  It is terrible if I try to interpret this with my mind...

And I cant go back "building a safe ground" first because I am already in this process. You cant go back and I cant either, it just happened and now I am just kind of a being in a human vessel or whatever. I looked into the mirror today and my mind was telling the craziest stories. I got aware enough that my mind wanted to make me feel crazy. But yet. It is indeed a hard process.

Edited April 3, 2019 by Nadosa

[Leo Gura]

You are not anything. Keep disidentifying with everything until nothing remains. It's basically as simple as that. The ego will of course react and object and throw hissy-fits.

Whatever negative reactions are arising, you must watch them without identifying with them or taking them too seriously. Like watching clouds passing through the sky. The sky does not get bothered by the clouds. You are like the sky. Be like the sky.

Insecurity is one of those clouds passing through.

One awakening is rarely enough to fully disidentify from the body/mind. Keep challenging anything you identify with. Keep asking yourself, "What am I still identified with? Can I let that go?" Your ultimate goal is to completely disidentify with the entire sensory realm. All forms must be dropped. No form is your true identity. Your true identity is totally empty, a Void.

[Truth Addict]

@Leo Gura

Hey Leo, I've done this technique today for about 1 hour on parts, I read it from your comment on another topic, I just focused on existence (what I feel in the present moment), and I kept with it, and everytime I return to the ordinary experience, I feel like I am being introduced to the world as new, I feel almost disidentified with everything, like what is all of this really?

These results are amazing, I reached such places before but I didn't know how, but still there's a bit of negative, yet vague emotions, and I can't sleep now (not related to the emotions, but I'm super alert), it's 3:53 am here.

Any advice or guidance?

Thank you a lot Leo, you're amazing!

[Leo Gura]

@Truth Addict Emotions will arise. Allow them and just watch them like clouds in the sky. Sometime they will take hold of you. Strong emotions will hypnotize you into a trace of believing in them. Just do your best to notice that and take a step back and witness it. That is all.

Your job in this work is to make EVERY form/perception an object of your witnessing. It cannot become an object to witness if you are identified with it. To witness it, you must first disidentify with it. So for example, you are not the sensation in your chest, you are that which is witnessing that sensation. You are not the thought of yourself, you are that which is witnessing that thought. You are not the hunger in your belly, you are that which is witnessing that feeling. Etc.

Just keep practicing that as much as you can throughout the day. The more the better. You will become more and more detached from everything, which is the goal. Eventually you should have an awakening to Absolute Emptiness that is your true identity. It will come suddenly and out of the blue. Often it's jolting.

Yes, keep entering that state of not-knowing what anything is. That's very good. That is the best state to be in for an awakening to happen.

[Truth Addict]

@Leo Gura 

[Vingger]

What is in between two thoughs?

Or between two perceptions?

 

[Aakash]

@Vingger when you are able to get longer times in between thinking, you will realise that you are aware, the problem is that the attachment to the identification of being human, brain , mind,  body is something that is programmed in us from young is so strong, we don't quickly arrive at the fact that we are aware, because the idea never comes to us until you have spent time quieting the mind and this is the practice of meditate and self-inquiry aswell as the other techniques 

for example, if you the "you" that you think and know that you are currently is the belief in between the gap so a frog thought does i need food, i need water, and in between its subconscious is "i am a frog" it doesn't know that the truth of the matter that this is only a belief and therefore it won't consider wait maybe i am consciousness having an experience of being a frog. humans have this ability to be conscious of their actions and so they are able to self-inquire. 

between two perceptions is also the same, between opening your eyes and closing your eyes or between breaths you are that awareness who is going i am human, that person looks amazing, i need food, and in the gaps are subconsciously adhering to the belief you are a human and that's why you don't notice the awareness

[zeroISinfinity]

I am confused now. Does this creates duality between witness and phenomena aren't they one and the same? 

[Leo Gura]

30 minutes ago, zeroISinfinity said:

I am confused now. Does this creates duality between witness and phenomena aren't they one and the same? 

They are one and the same, but they are simultaneously distinct. Just like how a coffee table is located in space, yet it is distinct from space. You can have space without a coffee table. Or space with a coffee table.

Phenomena occur inside the witness (we could say). Phenomena are also identical to the witness. And the witness is also distinct from all phenomena. These are various aspects of nonduality which you will have to realize individually, and also together all at once.

A good order of progression is first to realize the witness as distinct from phenomena. Then to realize that since the witness is nothing and nowhere, it is everywhere and everything, including all phenomena.

Something which is nothing and nowhere is also everything and everywhere. That's what you're missing. The witness is not a point in space, it is omnipresent, sort of like how a vacuum is omnipresent.

[zeroISinfinity]

Our True nature is without sense of Being. All embracing. Thanks Leo you helped so much. 

[zeroISinfinity]

So basiclly at the  same time we are Void in which everything appears all appearances inside the void including "body-mind". Nothing wrong in Being self it is tool of creation/transfiguration. Holly fuck it's amazing.