Should I stop seeking enlightenment?

[theking00]

I don't understand enlightenment. It is too complicated for me. I am lost.

[DecemberFlower]

Why you want enlightement?

[theking00]

2 minutes ago, DecemberFlower said:

Why you want enlightement?

to stop  the suffering 

Edited April 3, 2019 by theking00

[DecemberFlower]

What you suffer from? Maybe you should work on some aspects of yourself in different way not neccesary through enlightement work..enlightement doesnt fix all your issues

[theking00]

6 minutes ago, DecemberFlower said:

What you suffer from? Maybe you should work on some aspects of yourself in different way not neccesary through enlightement work..enlightement doesnt fix all your issues

I suffer from soical anxiety and I am not good with girls. I thought  englightement can fix my soical anxiety. Also englightement = true happieness 

Edited April 3, 2019 by theking00

[DecemberFlower]

I think you have issue with your self esteem.Work on that first:) Start slowly you dont need to rush with enlightement work.Stick with your meditation and inquiry habit and dont grasp too much on results.Did you had a glimpse of no self maybe?

What is your issue with girls? How much dating and relationship  experience you had? 

Edited April 3, 2019 by DecemberFlower

[theking00]

8 minutes ago, DecemberFlower said:

I think you have issue with your self esteem.Work on that first:) Start slowly you dont need to rush with enlightement work.Stick with your meditation and inquiry habit and dont grasp too much on results.Did you had a glimpse of no self maybe?

What is your issue with girls? How much dating and relationship  experience you had? 

I never had a glimpse of no self. I   Am 27 and I never was in a relationship.one girl told me that I have no confidence .

Edited April 3, 2019 by theking00

[Truth Addict]

@theking00

Start by something simple, like videos on YouTube about confidence and the issues that you have.

And as for the suffering, practice surrendering to reality, to the present moment, whatever the content is. Try to love and accept everything in your life, and as you accept more, you will be able to change more.

Edited April 3, 2019 by Truth Addict

[DecemberFlower]

Just now, theking00 said:

I never had a glimpse of no self. I   Am 27 and I never was in a relationship.one girl told me that I have no confidence . 

Yeah until you get it you wont be motivated enough at least that was the case with me.As i said stick with your meditation and inquiry and do it every day.If you will be persistent it will happen dont worry.Sorry to hear that but you need to realize you cant allow other people to form your self image and worth.Dont accept everything negative you hear from others.She told you that but you dont need to believe it. Find your good aspects and use them to beat the issues you have.

[ajasatya]

31 minutes ago, theking00 said:

to stop  the suffering 

then ask yourself why your suffer. can you explicit the root cause of your suffering in a clear sentence?

[Highest]

38 minutes ago, theking00 said:

I don't understand enlightenment. It is too complicated for me. I am lost.

So have we all. Now come back home. Suffering ends with Self-realisation. I recommend reading Ramana Maharshi's book "Who am I". That's a good starting point.

Regarding your social anxiety, this comes from the ego sense of separation and fear. Find it's source. For practical advice, just start talking to at least one random girl a day about nothing and everything. Just do it.

[thesmileyone]

1 hour ago, theking00 said:

I suffer from soical anxiety and I am not good with girls. I thought  englightement can fix my soical anxiety. Also englightement = true happieness 

This is what lead me to the path. I am much happier now. But it made me more unhappy for years whilst doing the work..

Also, how can you say enlightenment = true happiness when you are not enlightened? To me, this is like saying, um, "getting a blowjob from 8 women at once is true happiness" when I haven't had a blowjob from 8 women at once. It's just the same presumption that causes your anxiety "women won't like me" = all false thoughts.

You don't even need enlightenment to conquer social anxiety, the moment you understand that thoughts don't mean shit, means your anxiety doesn't mean shit. There will still be body anxiety, ie you will still shake and have bowel movements and sweat and stuff, so it's just a matter of out-habiting the body anxiety because there is no more mind-anxiety to feed it. And you do that by exposure therapy. Putting yourself in hard social situations, when mind-anxiety comes up you say "I am not my thoughts" and you just be in the moment in the social scenario. This might take years to fix or 5 mins.

I went from someone who used to go shopping at 3am to avoid people to someone who can easily go shopping at 1pm on a Saturday, or to a club, or whatever. It took a good 5 years to get there. I only get anxiety at the dentist now.

 

[DecemberFlower]

16 minutes ago, thesmileyone said:

You don't even need enlightenment to conquer social anxiety, the moment you understand that thoughts don't mean shit, means your anxiety doesn't mean shit. There will still be body anxiety, ie you will still shake and have bowel movements and sweat and stuff, so it's just a matter of out-habiting the body anxiety because there is no more mind-anxiety to feed it. And you do that by exposure therapy. Putting yourself in hard social situations, when mind-anxiety comes up you say "I am not my thoughts" and you just be in the moment in the social scenario. This might take years to fix or 5 mins.

 

This is interesting.Why body anxiety still happens if you broke mind identification after all mind and body are connected and influence each other dont they?

Edited April 3, 2019 by DecemberFlower

[Nahm]

@theking00 Enlightenment and social ease will never be added. When you look into what you have already added, when those beliefs about yourself are scrutinized, they get clearer and more pronounced, then they disappear. Then you will feel no need for enlightenment or social ease. 

[thesmileyone]

3 hours ago, DecemberFlower said:

This is interesting.Why body anxiety still happens if you broke mind identification after all mind and body are connected and influence each other dont they?

Yeah, but I think the body like, remembers your state.

Even at the dentist, my body is in full panic attack mode but my mind is calm. I actually mediate in the dentist, whilst my body does all its sweating and stuff. Cannot explain it.

[legendary]

@theking00 enlightenment will not get you girls. Ego death will not permanently cure your low self-esteem and anxiety.

But it's best to work in that area of your life, and continue to self- actualize and meditate (which is how Leo started)

Going to the gym, socializing more, etc. are bound to be more helpful.

[Leo Gura]

@theking00 Yes, enlightenment will help with those core issues, but you need something more practical first.

Go and actually study and gain experience with attracting girls and being social. Do that first. Fill that need. Then you can return to enlightenment work. You are getting ahead of yourself, jumping into too advanced territory without having done the basics. That's why you're frustrated.

GO SOCIALIZE WITH REAL GIRLS!!!

Stop trying to avoid it. You are using the idea of enlightenment to avoid doing basic self-help stuff. That is not right.

[WelcometoReality]

@theking00 To fix your social anxiety you need to get out and socialize. Start small and do something social every day. I've been there myself and it was an uncomfortable process but the more you do the easier it becomes.

And as far as enlightenment goes it's not hard. You are already right where you need to be, what is unenlightening you?

[Gabriel Antonio]

On 03/04/2019 at 9:45 PM, Leo Gura said:

you need something more practical first.

Go and actually study and gain experience with attracting girls and being social. Do that first. Fill that need. Then you can return to enlightenment work. You are getting ahead of yourself, jumping into too advanced territory without having done the basics. That's why you're frustrated.

GO SOCIALIZE WITH REAL GIRLS!!!

Stop trying to avoid it. You are using the idea of enlightenment to avoid doing basic self-help stuff. That is not right.

???

Talk about a bitter pill lol

[Inliytened1]

@DecemberFlower @thesmileyone yeah he is speaking about becoming self aware..its very accurate for someone who suffers from an anxiety disorder....mental disorders can be a chemical imbalance so you need to be self aware of when it is hitting amd go meta on it.. That takes practice...of course if he actually has a chemical disorder or just a confidence problem only he knows. 

I have pure OCD and when i had my awakening experience / mystical experience it came in waves for about a week and during that time i had complete certainty and was completely cured of OCD.  But that was because i was not me anymore.  I literally experienced my own death.  As i returned to my ego though over time i felt everything that was associated with myself..including the OCD returned.  However i was different having had that experience.  I now feel a sense of peace and being i never had before.

So while enlightenment will help and actually in the moment of enlightenment (whether that moment is an hour or a month) you will actually be cured of everything and will be perfect and in a perfect state of non-duality (you will literally become your true self which is God) you will most likely not remain in that state forever..its very rare that one does.  So your issues will still be there unfortunately.  Those take work and self actualization to fix.  Like everyone said keep doing the work and will greatly improve your life.

 

Edited April 6, 2019 by Inliytened1