Alcohol free? Why?

[Alex bAlex]

Hey, how to reply to people who notice that you are not drinking alcohol, while they have already 3 beers down on their throats? 

When people ask me why I don't drink alcohol, I can see how they scan me to see if I am sick. I can reply by saying "why should I?" or " it's not good for your health" but this will make the situation awkward. One time a guy from a meetup group, at the notice that I am having some juice cocktail is asking me "...then why are you here (in the pub)... ". And I replied, " for socialising". This made him look at me like I am someone suspicious. 

Other times a group of girls and guys were chatting about going out and get drunk. Some guys were saying that they don't drink alcohol due to religious reasons. Then the girls asked me if I drink alcohol, and when I replied "no", they just turned around and not even bother to talk to me anymore. 

 

So how should I approach those situations? 

[B_Naz]

I don't think you should approach the situation at all. You stated your disinterest in drinking, and if they instantly become disinterested in you, then its not worth your time with them

A human being who judges you for not drinking? That's stupid as fuck

 

[allislove]

Make a bet with a friend that you're not going to drink for half a year since you want to be healthy. Then, you can tell people that you made a bet with the friend and you're going to drink after half a year with everyone, but not today.

When half a year would pass just re-evaluate your decision and tell everyone that you decided to not drink for a longer time. 

After a year everyone in your circle will know that you do not drink alcohol and if somebody from outside asks why you are not drinking the answer: "I do not drink alcohol because I do not want to drink alcohol, I want juice ".

This strategy worked for me, not sure whether it's applicable to you.

Edited March 31, 2019 by dimitri

[Alex bAlex]

@B_Naz I know, I just have to move along in my self-development and go out and communicate and find new people so, automatically I will have to deal with different kind of people. 

24 minutes ago, dimitri said:

This strategy worked for me, not sure whether it's applicable to you.

 

This strategy sounds cool. I will apply it. Thanks  

[okulele]

@Alex bAlex I usually say the truth. It's not that I have anything against alcohol, I just really, really enjoy sobriety

[Hansu]

5 hours ago, B_Naz said:

I don't think you should approach the situation at all. You stated your disinterest in drinking, and if they instantly become disinterested in you, then its not worth your time with them

A human being who judges you for not drinking? That's stupid as fuck

 

If you cut your ties to people who do or say stupid shit, you might aswell become a hermit. Martyrdom is lonely.

As for OP, think about a neutral reason for not drinking. Know that these people drink because they hurt, they don't want to listen to someone telling them that they have to stop evading the hurt and get their shit together. If you tell them that you dont drink for religious or health reasons, they start feeling bad for their own decisions and their egos become adamant at blaming you.

If someone comments on you not drinking, you could tell them that drinking is fun, but alcohol makes you feel very nauseated, and you dont want to ruin your friends/colleagues evening. Thats rather neutral statement that slightly makes your friends feel higher than you while feel good about their drinking, and could even raise their respect towards you.

 

[nistake]

@Hansu Great answer!

[MsNobody]

@Alex bAlex I also don’t drink alcohol, I just say I don’t like it, people want you doing the same things that they are doing, if you are taking care of your health it shows them they should be doing the same, their egos get hurt, misery loves company. And sometimes I say it’s not good for my health, I’m practicing radical honesty and think if we don’t be authentic and expose ourselves we will be just joining the rest of the crowd who lives in denial.

Here is a quote I like: 

to ask them to legalize pot is something like asking them to put butter on the handcuffs before they place them on you, something else is hurting you - that's why you need pot or whiskey, or whips and rubber suits, or screaming music turned so fucking loud you can't think, or madhouses or mechanical cunts or 162 baseball games in a season. or vietnam or israel or the fear of spiders. your love washing her yellow false teeth in the sink before you screw.

Charles Bukowski, Tales of Ordinary Madness

 

[B_Naz]

@Hansu Are you saying that all people of society drinks? Are you also saying that everybody is stupid?

This is just one instance of stupidity in my opinion that requires no approach. Meaning, you don't need to change anything. Sorry if my post implied that the solution was to cut ties, but the intention itself was to do nothing because you can't do anything. You can't always change the opinion of others easily and if you try doing so, it's a waste of time because they're most likely not going to listen, especially if they judged you and even given you less respect for not drinking => not being open-minded

 

 

Edited March 31, 2019 by B_Naz

[Nahm]

@Hansu Did what you described just immediately play out?

[Alex bAlex]

Thanks guys. Much appreciate your replies. I guess I'll have too pick and choose depending on the situation ?? 

[Hansu]

@Nahm

Well, Im not certain but maybe

[Maya_0]

How to approach those situations is to stop creating those situations.

[Charlotte]

I literally say. It doesn't serve me in anyway. They usually respond. "Fair enough."

[XYZ]

Alcohol causes insomnia for me, and also makes herbal supplements I take for sleeping less effective, so I'd feel comfortable just explaining that if I have to decline social drinking. Having an evening drink and then lying awake in bed, then lying awake some more between fragmented sleep is fresh in memory from the average of twice a year it happened recently. 

I'm not a teetotaler though, I occasionally enjoy a beer with an afternoon meal, but just like with coffee it's one of those things I avoid having after 5PM or so since I know it will prevent me from getting restful sleep and the sleep deprivation would have a ripple effect, all because I didn't want to be the odd one who didn't drink at an event, or felt like having a nice buzz while watching TV alone.

[Shadowraix]

People associate alcohol to bring fun, laid back etc etc. You won't seem fun to people who think like that. Also people like being on the same "level" since alcohol reduces boundaries. 

Going to a pub looking for people to socialize with who aren't looking to just drink might give slim results vs other places that serve more purposes than just to serve alcohol. Even a restaurant with a bar is better. 

My friends and I drink socially just because it's fun. Go figure since alcohol gives a dopamine boost and reduces your filter. But it's not a frequent thing. I have one friend who doesn't drink since he can't handle alcohols burn. It's chill. He gets a kick seeing me drunk. Lmao

 

On 3/31/2019 at 5:24 AM, MsNobody said:

@Alex bAlex I also don’t drink alcohol, I just say I don’t like it, people want you doing the same things that they are doing, if you are taking care of your health it shows them they should be doing the same, their egos get hurt, misery loves company. And sometimes I say it’s not good for my health, I’m practicing radical honesty and think if we don’t be authentic and expose ourselves we will be just joining the rest of the crowd who lives in denial.

Here is a quote I like: 

to ask them to legalize pot is something like asking them to put butter on the handcuffs before they place them on you, something else is hurting you - that's why you need pot or whiskey, or whips and rubber suits, or screaming music turned so fucking loud you can't think, or madhouses or mechanical cunts or 162 baseball games in a season. or vietnam or israel or the fear of spiders. your love washing her yellow false teeth in the sink before you screw.

Charles Bukowski, Tales of Ordinary Madness

 

Yeah lots of people use drugs as a means of escapism. I did that with dxm a bit but it didn't take me long to get that sorted. But I'd say the legalization is more about it being fucked that people are going to jail for just consuming a drug. I don't support drugs for escapism but more power to them if they want to. 

Edited April 1, 2019 by Shadowraix

[okulele]

On 3/31/2019 at 6:02 PM, Charlotte said:

I literally say. It doesn't serve me in anyway. They usually respond. "Fair enough."

?

[molosku]

People who show disinterest in you just for not drinking are not people you want to get to know, period. You should be thanking them, they make it easier for you to spot more high conscious friend candidates. 

If you want to grow your confidence levels, just order the girliest, sparkliest non alcoholic drink available and sip it trough a straw and look smug, lol. 

When confronted about not drinkin, you should not start to really explain yourself, just tell them the truth: "I want to be sober". No further explanation is necessary. 

[allislove]

Enjoyed non-alcoholic wine yesterday.

So, maybe you may carry with you one bottle everywhere. 

[Alex bAlex]

Yeah, I guess you have to have a bit of leeway in the way you approach the situation. You can easily fall into snob category, acting like a deer in a field full of lions ???

Edited April 2, 2019 by Alex bAlex