Joseph Maynor

List the 10 Major Areas Where You Think One Can Do Work in Personal Development

27 posts in this topic

10 hours ago, DrewNows said:

I like this list but would replace #5 with relationships/understanding ourselves through relationship 

I've been married for years (20+ yrs) so I didn't include that on my list of ten (in no particular order). I can relate to what they said here:

But, I want to add that an intimate relationship is only slightly different from the relationships that you have with your immediate family (mom, dad, siblings), given that it's a functional family. The only difference is that it's intimate. That's it. That's not a big difference. But, because of the influence of society and others, the definition of an intimate relationship changes, and we try to fit into that definition/category, not realizing that we made it incredibly hard on ourselves. As Leo said in the clip above, be detached in a relationship. That's true in the relative sense.

That's also true in non-duality/enlightenment because there is only "you," and you are totally detached from "yourself." Only when you embody back into your ego, that you think that what just happened is grandiose. It's not, but you become attached to that, and you have to learn to be detached from that experience in the relative truth.

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@Key Elementscool :) this is an important aspect of relationship dynamics for maturing as a person. Are you able to look at your partner without any story of your history together?

I've always struggled in my relationships with the opposite sex. I've never had a real close female friend or long serious relationship. In fact i usually end up pushing woman away if i begin to develop too strong of feelings. I am sure it has to do with my parents ugly divorce as a child. It caused me to always over invest emotionally with fear of being left or unworthy/not accepted. 

Personal development and enlightenment work together because they both require a deeper understanding of ourselves. We learn the most about ourselves in observation of our interactions, whether be complete stranger, mother or intimate partner. How do we project onto others, what are our true intentions/agenda (and are they hidden or do we make them clear), why do we get annoyed/triggered by others, or hold certain beliefs about strangers or even close ourselves off.

It's a good way to understand subconscious beliefs/habits and learn how to see people for who they are and not who we think they are. Basically the journey to showing infinite unconditional love/compassion for ourselves and others whether or not we choose to communicate this is up to us and our agendas. Becoming totally authentic and feeling complete. 

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3 hours ago, DrewNows said:

@Key ElementsAre you able to look at your partner without any story of your history together?

If the answer to this question isn't a simple 'yes,' for any couple, the relationship won't last. If it's not 'yes,' it shows attachment, obsession, or non-acceptance. A good example would be in the TedX talk video that I posted. There was nothing wrong with her husband in her first marriage. She just left him for whatever reason.

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53 minutes ago, Key Elements said:

If the answer to this question isn't a simple 'yes,' for any couple, the relationship won't last. If it's not 'yes,' it shows attachment, obsession, or non-acceptance. A good example would be in the TedX talk video that I posted. There was nothing wrong with her husband in her first marriage. She just left him for whatever reason.

Just watched, awesome! Not sure if you are a parent but id imagine a parent child dynamic can be an even bigger challenge

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1 hour ago, DrewNows said:

Just watched, awesome! Not sure if you are a parent but id imagine a parent child dynamic can be an even bigger challenge

I get along with both of my teenage sons well.

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5 hours ago, DrewNows said:

@Key ElementsI am sure it has to do with my parents ugly divorce as a child. It caused me to always over invest emotionally with fear of being left or unworthy/not accepted. 

Unfortunately, many ppl, including myself, are from dysfunctional families. But, I didn't make that as an excuse to become dysfunctional. I'm not saying that I did it perfectly. The speaker in the TedX talk came a long way.

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6 minutes ago, Key Elements said:

Unfortunately, many ppl, including myself, are from dysfunctional families. But, I didn't make that as an excuse to become dysfunctional. I'm not saying that I did it perfectly. The speaker in the TedX talk came a long way.

?❤️

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