Is Self Esteem Redundant?

[Huz]

Hey guys

I am just wondering weather self-esteem would be transcended upon spiritual enlightenment. For a highly englightenment being is self esteem a concept and meaning he has neither high or low self-esteem

Or is self-esteem an intrinsic part of our mechanism and nature. A sub-set of consciousness is you will. That increases when on the spiritual path?

 

Edited April 18, 2016 by Huz88

[Nathalie]

21 minutes ago, Huz88 said:

I am just wondering weather self-esteem would be transcended upon spiritual enlightenment

At least Eckart Tolle thinks so..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VauHIuyPwkM

and his arguments are good, aren't they ?

Edited April 18, 2016 by MartineF

[Huz]

Bit confused because he when talks about conventional self-esteem he implies that people with high or low self-esteem still compare themselves to other people, which is the case for low self-esteem. But if your build your self-esteem high enough, without ego transcendence, aren't you so accepting and respectlful of yourself that you don't compare yourself to others. There is no competiton with others in you. Or is that the very nature of the ego in which no matter how high you raise your self-esteem, you will always lie, maniputlate, and compare with others and yourself.

[SkyPanther]

9 minutes ago, Huz88 said:

Bit confused because he when talks about conventional self-esteem he implies that people with high or low self-esteem still compare themselves to other people, which is the case for low self-esteem. But if your build your self-esteem high enough, without ego transcendence, aren't you so accepting and respectlful of yourself that you don't compare yourself to others. There is no competiton with others in you. Or is that the very nature of the ego in which no matter how high you raise your self-esteem, you will always lie, maniputlate, and compare with others and yourself.

What he is saying (in a kind of roundabout way) is that acceptance is what you need to work toward.  Accept yourself, warts and all, and accept other people.

That way there is no comparison, which is what self esteem tends to do, it is ultimately about conceit/pride in yourself.  But "yourself" is a concept.

From a Buddhist point of view, pride/conceit in yourself is born of delusion(+greed) of a self. And low-self esteem, is born of delusion(+aversion) of a self.

If you have neither like, nor dislike, you come to accept the way things are.  After you come to acceptance, you can choose to change, or not, the things in your personality/ego that are making your life harder than it should be.

Being prideful of a quality in yourself, which may in all likelihood change sometime in the future, can bring you pain.  It can also make you think other people are inferior to you.  

Disliking some part of yourself does not change that part.  Some things may not be changeable, for instance if you go bald at 15, but getting upset and depressed over it will not change the fact, so you accept the things you cannot change, and change the things that can be changed (like, say if you are a smoker).

There is an affirmation/prayer that sums this up:

Quote

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.

Only "god" can be your higher self, or your "true" self, which is not your ego. 

[WelcometoReality]

6 hours ago, Huz88 said:

Hey guys

I am just wondering weather self-esteem would be transcended upon spiritual enlightenment. For a highly englightenment being is self esteem a concept and meaning he has neither high or low self-esteem

Or is self-esteem an intrinsic part of our mechanism and nature. A sub-set of consciousness is you will. That increases when on the spiritual path?

 

Who is thinking he is good or bad? Better or worse than others? ☺ Self esteem are just thoughts about yourself and since no thought is true, self esteem is just another illusion. Also,  since you are an illusion, self esteem must be an illusion too, right? 

[Nathalie]

7 hours ago, Huz88 said:

But if your build your self-esteem high enough, without ego transcendence, aren't you so accepting and respectlful of yourself that you don't compare yourself to others

Can be.. Some people have a natural high self esteem and lthey are surely concerned and they possibly even don't remark it..

But if you have to "build" it first, it seems to be contradictory because you need others to fix your degree of self esteem, don't you?.. And therefore you need situations or things which prove you, you have "the right" to have a high esteem of yourself because of.. what ever. Of course you can be so kind and smile at others when you have a high self esteem, but you can only fool others and feed your ego with it.

There's no competition because you think you are high in your scale, but what happens when you meet a higher one?

If you stil commited in self actualization, you will transcendant it whether you think it's necessary or not.. It the way it leads to..

 

[Pav]

There are two components to self-esteem; self-efficacy and self-acceptance.

I don't agree with Eckart in the video posted above. He seems to confuse a weakened ego (which arises from low self-esteem) with healthy self-esteem. What he describes is not healthy self-esteem, but rather the opposite. Someone with healthy self-esteem is secure enough in themselves that they see no need to rank themselves against others.

Nathaniel Branden studied self-esteem and found that it rested upon six pillars (which he writes about in The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem). These are:

1. The practice of living consciously

2. The practice of self-acceptance 

3. The practice of self-responsibility

4. The practice of self-assertiveness 

5. The practice of living purposefully 

6. The practice of personal integrity 

I highly recommend reading his book, it will give you a much greater insight into what all these points really mean. There are a lot of misconceptions about what self-esteem really is. However, it is still important in everything you will do in your life. You must build healthy self-esteem (real self-esteem, not pseudo-self-esteem as Eckart described) if you want to live a happier and more fulfilling life. 

I believe that having a healthy self-esteem makes it much, much more likely to self transcend. One of the seemingly paradoxical things Maslow found while studying self-actualising people was that self-actualisation tended to naturally lead to self-transcendence. It is very hard for someone with damaged self-esteem to transcend, they are too caught up in their ego.

[step1]

1 hour ago, Mat Pav said:

There are two components to self-esteem; self-efficacy and self-acceptance.

I don't agree with Eckart in the video posted above. He seems to confuse a weakened ego (which arises from low self-esteem) with healthy self-esteem. What he describes is not healthy self-esteem, but rather the opposite. Someone with healthy self-esteem is secure enough in themselves that they see no need to rank themselves against others.

Nathaniel Branden studied self-esteem and found that it rested upon six pillars (which he writes about in The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem). These are:

1. The practice of living consciously

2. The practice of self-acceptance 

3. The practice of self-responsibility

4. The practice of self-assertiveness 

5. The practice of living purposefully 

6. The practice of personal integrity 

I highly recommend reading his book, it will give you a much greater insight into what all these points really mean. There are a lot of misconceptions about what self-esteem really is. However, it is still important in everything you will do in your life. You must build healthy self-esteem (real self-esteem, not pseudo-self-esteem as Eckart described) if you want to live a happier and more fulfilling life. 

I believe that having a healthy self-esteem makes it much, much more likely to self transcend. One of the seemingly paradoxical things Maslow found while studying self-actualising people was that self-actualisation tended to naturally lead to self-transcendence. It is very hard for someone with damaged self-esteem to transcend, they are too caught up in their ego.

In my opinion someone with a healthy esteem still ranks themselves against others.  How can one say he or she has a healthy esteem if he or she has no one to compare against?

[Pav]

@step1 Because they accept themselves as they are. They aware of their capabilities and their potentials. They are more focused on their own values, focused on doing what they believe they should be doing, rather than worrying about other people's or societies expectations, or what other people perceive/think of them. They simply see no need to rank themselves against others. They realise that there are people out there who are more successful than them and better at certain things, but this does not concern them because they are secure in who they are and do not need to chase external sources of validation.

Edited April 19, 2016 by Mat Pav

[Phrae]

Here Ken Wilber talks about how it's actually pathetic that you think of yourself as a living can in this body. So I think it's fair to say that self-esteem is very very small compared to supreme identity.

[Saarah]

@Huz88 I think once you're enlightened you abolish the idea of self-esteem altogether and yes it's made redundant, having a sense of esteem is a game of the ego

[step1]

On ‎19‎/‎04‎/‎2016 at 11:07 AM, Mat Pav said:

@step1 Because they accept themselves as they are. They aware of their capabilities and their potentials. They are more focused on their own values, focused on doing what they believe they should be doing, rather than worrying about other people's or societies expectations, or what other people perceive/think of them. They simply see no need to rank themselves against others. They realise that there are people out there who are more successful than them and better at certain things, but this does not concern them because they are secure in who they are and do not need to chase external sources of validation.

Well, if having a healthy esteem means it is easier to transcend, I have a lot more ground to cover than I originally thought

[Huz]

High Self esteem isn't about comparing to others (that's low). It's about acceptance and to believe that you are worthy of happiness and life in general. It's also you ability to take charge of your life. No comparisons to others are needed