Helping my family move up the spiral.

[Alex]

Yesterday I watched Leos Video on areas of aplication for Spiral Dynamics and it got me wondering what I could do to stimmulate the development of the people around me.

I want to help especially my mum and dad which are currently around 70% orange 25% blue and 5% green, They struggle alot with deppendecne on bad food, lack of exercice and my dad with addiction to beer and cigarets. (stage orange problems with consumerism) I try to live by example and tell them about the benefits of exerciese and proper diet, but it mostly goes unnoticed. 

[Pronevron]

Just my 2 cents, after listening to Don Beck’s Spiral Dynamic Integral, if you’re yellow you just want to make sure the chromatic bridges are defended. So, just keep it *possible* for your parents to advance, rather than arrogantly thinking you can just move them up the spiral. After all, it’s not easy to move oneself up the spiral, even if that is one’s intention.

 

It sounds like you’re doing a good job, just focus on developing yourself and being a resource to your parents, and I think that’s about all you can do. 

[bejapuskas]

Don't fall for hipocrisy, make sure to be a good example and do your best in your everyday life, while staying modest.

[Wyatt]

Do they want to improve? That's the first step that must come from them. If they think everything is peachy and they are unwilling to change and grow, then you're going to feel like you're trying to drag a 10-ton elephant to water. Old people have been doing things for a long time and are typically stuck in their ways. Even if they consciously want to change and move up the spiral, it can take years to really get anywhere. 

You also need to understand that, unless you have a VERY clear idea in your head of where they're going on the spiral, you won't have a shot in hell to help them move. Are you positive that's the stage they're at now? Do they show unhealthy expressions of the stage they're in? How can you help improve their life so they are expressing a healthier version of blue, orange, and green? What do they read and listen to? Who are their friends? Are they surrounded by people and things that are keeping them at their stage? What can you do to bring more higher-value ideas into their life? Do they know how good their life could be? Could you help them develop a vision for their future that is enticing enough for them to accept your help? These are all questions you need to answer.

Hope this helps brotha!

[Alex]

@Wyatt very helpful will think about your questions, thank you very much

[Sahil Pandit]

@Alex i admire your decision to make this happen. 

[ajasatya]

@Alex it doesn't work that way. the best thing you can do is live a good life and MAYBE others will be inspired by the quality of your life.

[Forestluv]

@Alex I've found that if I try to enter their world and pull them up it doesn't work and can be counter-productive. The only time I've seen any progress is when they invite me into that world and show interest in evolving. Even then, I can only go into their stretch zone. If I go for too much, they enter the panic zone and shut down. Yet this is rare since my family is totally immersed in the Maze.

Another way is to just be the higher conscious level without "trying" to do anything. No intention, no agenda. No judgement. No expectations. Just be at the highest conscious. When someone is genuinely being at a higher conscious level, it is often attractive to those below and can rub off on them.

[Arcangelo]

Can't help them. It's a full time job to help yourself.

[Aeris]

I use resonating.

then I kick.

resonate and break hard.

I m a pure manipulative tyran in the tongue of the sleeper.

when it comes to love.

I would crush someone eyes directly with my finger only if that help them suffer less in the long run.

I m the wave and the sea, sorry for you if you crash on me.

I send a free pass to hell to everyone that try me with hate.

blue and orange dogmatic values, I just crush them with no pity, but recently, I tend to find amusing to crush green aswell. ( especially on animal suffering, aside I agree, I don't agree with dogmatism and hate ) I speak paradoxical truth with yellow.

 

Edited March 29, 2019 by Aeris

[Aeris]

9 hours ago, Arcangelo said:

Can't help them. It's a full time job to help yourself.

helping others is helping yourself sometimes.

egoic needs can reflect in many ways, it's not always pure devilry

 

12 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

@Alex I've found that if I try to enter their world and pull them up it doesn't work and can be counter-productive. The only time I've seen any progress is when they invite me into that world and show interest in evolving. Even then, I can only go into their stretch zone. If I go for too much, they enter the panic zone and shut down. Yet this is rare since my family is totally immersed in the Maze.

Another way is to just be the higher conscious level without "trying" to do anything. No intention, no agenda. No judgement. No expectations. Just be at the highest conscious. When someone is genuinely being at a higher conscious level, it is often attractive to those below and can rub off on them.

 

this aswell is legit

Edited March 29, 2019 by Aeris

[NorthRise]

The one thing that I'd add is to not judge them for their slow/non-existent development. We all start at stage 0 when we are born and then begin to move on the spiral. People move through the stages at different rates, but it isn't a guarantee that they will continue to grow and evolve. Often times they get stuck at what Ken Wilber calls a station and they just live out their lives with those values and never go beyond that. 

As other people said lead by example and try to show them the light. You can certainly try to help them down the path, but ultimately it has to be their decision to make the change. You could try to give them videos to watch to try to open their eyes to new ideas. 

[Margo89]

Very useful video, It is a full time job to help myself, thanks for sharing.

[Gabriel Antonio]

First of all, do not preach to them about self-help stuff. This is as annoying as a religious person talking about Jesus. 

Second, you can't change anyone. But if you truly develop yourself, you'll naturally be an inspiration to others (including your family). 

Third, stop categorizing people like you did with your mom... 

[Joseph Maynor]

The best thing to do is to embody good habits yourself and to be a good example for others that way.  People are more influenced by what you do and who you are than by what you say.  If what you say doesn't comport with what you do yourself, your talk will immediately lose all credibility and you will lose credibility.  But if you live it, that is the strongest statement you can make.  People will notice that and be influenced by that.  You gotta be the change that you wanna see in the worlds.  Now, notice this isn't talk about the change you wanna see in the world, it's be the change you wanna see in the world.  

Edited April 3, 2019 by Joseph Maynor