Alternating between enlightenment and total hopelessness

[WelcometoReality]

@Dumb Enlightened ❤

 

[Ananta]

 

[Dumb Enlightened]

19 hours ago, Markus said:

@Dumb Enlightened Purges with strong negative emotions are normal on the path. Can happen pre- or post-awakening. Don't try to escape them.

It's like the mind tries everything to hold or attention again, using every means necessary, because once you saw the illusion it start to lose its power,

19 hours ago, thesmileyone said:

You need to connect the feeling of the Absolute that you feel when meditating, to the feeling of the Absolute that is there when not meditating. Currently, you don't feel it when not meditating by the sound of it. it is there, underneath all the garbage that is "you". Once you can connect to it in day to day life, just keep some awareness on it at all times. Over "time" it will be there more and more until eventually.... And this is where I stop giving advice because I do not know yet what happens when it is there 100% of the time outside of meditation.

I was trying to "hold on" to that awakening, and after contemplating a little, I saw that it became a new attachment, the ego became attached to the enlightenment in a way to perpetuate itself,

I saw a very interesting video , this one right here;

He said that one should ask oneself, ' how did I unenlightened myself ' Because the enlightened state is our nature, it's not something that can be lost, because it's right here, so how does it seem that I lost it ? , that was the question

I got it then, at least what was happening to me. Sure it must be levels and depths of awakening, but I would reach a state that I can call no self, that the sense of being a personal self vanishes, and all I could describe was that life is, life is unfolding, had a felling of deep peace and satisfaction to it.

But a few hours later maybe, a thought would appear saying something like " this is not the end, there's must be more to it " then I would buy into that thought, and create a new search, and then the identification with the seeker was back.

This trick at least, doesn't work anymore, if indeed there's more to see, I think eventually it will present itself, if it doesn't, there's nothing to be done

[Dumb Enlightened]

14 hours ago, Anna1 said:

 

Really great video, right what I needed, all videos you guys shared dealt with issues that I was facing, I really appreciated it,

[Ananta]

@Dumb Enlightened You welcome, glad it was helpful. 

[Markus]

9 hours ago, Dumb Enlightened said:

It's like the mind tries everything to hold or attention again, using every means necessary, because once you saw the illusion it start to lose its power,

 

That's true. It's a process of breaking down and rebuilding ego over and over.

[VictorB02]

@Dumb Enlightened Read Daniel Ingrams book "Mastering the core teachings of the Buddha" 

In it, he talks of the map of the stages of insight for enlightenment. 

To me it sounds like you are going through the stages quickly. Which include the Dark Knight of the Soul, followed by a awakening experience, then the process starts all over again. He talks about it in the book, I really think you could benefit from it.

[Dumb Enlightened]

18 hours ago, VictorB02 said:

@Dumb Enlightened Read Daniel Ingrams book "Mastering the core teachings of the Buddha" 

In it, he talks of the map of the stages of insight for enlightenment. 

To me it sounds like you are going through the stages quickly. Which include the Dark Knight of the Soul, followed by a awakening experience, then the process starts all over again. He talks about it in the book, I really think you could benefit from it.

Thanks for the suggestion, I will read it for sure !!

[Javad]

@Dumb Enlightened yeah that's most likely because you were following up with the main stream self help which is basically marketed all over the place.

Try REAL psychology. It actually does deal with the deep issues instead of telling you to go for this shallow "success" type of life. I'll give you an example from my life:

A little while ago, i learned that my teenage years' memories of my parents taking away the pc cable and arguing with me while playing video games have manifested in an emotional trigger. Every time i see something being taken from me "for my own good" unconsciously all of the past memories come up in 1 fast burst, which becomes anger, and then i suddenly am feeling angry from inside, am moody from outside, my performance drops, my logic shuts down. The mind blow part for me is, not having had the level of mindfulness i have, i woulda never guessed i am feeling so emotional because of a memory from years ago.

 

Now you also might need to step back from super speed growth, take a little while to self reflect, see how you feel, and what you think, journal them, maybe show it to a psychologist, find the source of your emotions and thoughts, and with all that info, and maybe some outside advice, you can probably fix the problem from the root.

 

It's true that enlightenment fixes all problems from the root (cuz you stop identifying yourself as the ego) but TO get to that stage, you might need to actually go back and heal up, fix old issues, mostly unconscious programming needing to be deleted or changed.

 

Good luck on your path