Opening up to Trusting again, My new vid....

[Mu_]

Hey everyone.  In my new video I go over something that is in my eye's critical to evolving and discovering the Truth of who and what we are.  One may say its a developmental piece, but none the less a important part of waking up.

Let me know if you have any questions or comments, I'd be happy in discussing.

[Matt23]

I like the message. 

I was doing LSD today out in the forest and parks.  I walked around and noticed this sense that I was somehow bad or guilty of something.  Like people were out to get me and that i was bad.  I've recognized this belief system before in me.  

At one point I recognized how I felt I had to prove I was good to other people by almost fighting them or making sure they new I was good.

Then, at another time, I realized that no matter how much inner belief, feeling, and psychological work I do, and no matter how much benefit and health can be gained from it, that non of it is actually me.  That it all somehow felt unreal or unsupported.  That it wasn't really real or "it".  It was like "Yeah I have all these issues and negative feelings etc.  But, honestly and weirdly, they don't have any substance.  No pay dirt.  No "umpf".  Like I could just get rid of it all and nothing would happen.  Like it was just more stuff.  Nothing to take personally. 

Lesson = Personal issues aren't personal.  

What you talked about at the start reminded me of this moment.  

Thanks.

[Mu_]

Your welcome, that is a profound insight you had. 
 

Can I ask though, did it uplift you, leave you depressed and confused or neither?

[Matt23]

Yeah... I was wondering the same thing....

I think the insight about how everything felt like "not it" or "not real" was somewhat relieving.  Sort of like I didn't have to take these personal things so seriously, not matter what they are.  Perhaps making me more able to work with them.  Bringing a slight feeling of joy, levity, and humor to things.

The other feeling of "being bad" might have made me a bit more depressed in a sense.  Not on a large level.  Or it might have simply shown me more clearly what was already there.  

Either way, I think it was really revealing and made me realize I should work on eliminating that belief structure and how much it influences my daily interactions.  

While I write this I feeling hopeful because I see it as a solution to some of the issues I've been facing in the past and present.  

It's hard to say though... haha... 

Even if it made me more depressed, I see it as if I'm simply taking on more of my own 'stuff' that I would have to work on anyways if I want to grow more.  So, it's all good.

One thing I wish was that I planned and made more time to think about and integrate these insights afterwards.

Have you had any psychedelic or spiritual experiences that resulted in a long-term negative mind states?   

If so, how did they turn out in the end and if you overcame them, how did you do that?

[Mu_]

Ya it sounds like you should listen to your sense that looking into this negative "being bad" could be helpful.  And your right about it maybe making you temporarily "depressed".  This can happen when we face structures like this in ourselves.   But when this happens remind yourself that this is what can happen and its temporary and things will improve when you see through the things you are facing.  Often what happens for people is they start looking into something like this, start to feel bad, doubful, less of themselves, that theres a bigger problem then there is (any number of things can happen in ones mind/experience) and they contract back in avoiding the issue they wanted to face.  Of course if things get really out of control and unsafe, then you may want to back off and reassess and perhaps get help from others that can help you through these challenging times/issues (which if it ever comes up, you can message me and I'll try and help you through with my experience).

Out of curiosity do you feel like you have long term negative mind states from your psychedelic/spiritual experiences? 

As for me I had a traumatic spiritual awakening years ago in which I felt everything I knew myself to be changed radically fast and I felt forced to do/act in ways that didn't make sense to me.  I became WAAAAY to sensitive to any amount of suffering or potential danger and over compensating by almost being OCD.  This lasted in various ways off and on for years.  A few years ago this all came to a head in a series of spiritual awakenings,facing some real potential dangers and a few encounters with angels/spirits that healed something in my heart as well as helping me face the reality of death and danger as a inherent Truth in life.  While i can't tell you how it turned out in the end, since I'm still alive its radically better and in the process of the whole thing, I have become awakened to my true nature and all sorts of unexpected Truths I had only read about and wanted to understand at one point, but for what ever reason was unable to see in my earlier years.

[Matt23]

It wasn't like a really negative experience, like an annoyance.  Still felt the badness but it wasn't anything devastating.  It went away that night I think.

I think I feel better about it because I saw an area I should work on.

I've never had any long-term negative mind states from psychedelics or meditative/spiritual experiences that I'm aware of.  Except this one (I don't know if it was "spiritual") which happened in 2012 ish.  I'd never done psychedelics or meditation before and I was going through some tough mental terrain.  I remember looking out at the ocean and beach as if everything was totally empty, like it was paper thin.  It felt like a black abyss and I remember thinking it was the most terrifying feeling ever and I'd never wish it on my worst enemy.  Even a hug from my mom didn't help.  Then I went into a crowded pizza shop and felt better.  That feeling came on and off for a year afterwards maybe.  Though not as intense.  I still don't really know what it was.

[DrewNows]

@Mu_Good message here for sure! Promotes a ton of growth. Simple sweet solid advice.

How effective do you think tallying the amount of times per day/week one acts against/doesnt act in accordance with their hearts desires or authentically (often creating regrets or reinforcing conditioning patterns) 

[WelcometoReality]

@Mu_ Mm an important aspect to waking up at the heart level. Guarding yourself from bad feelings and trying to control life really hinders you to experience it fully.

 

[Mu_]

22 hours ago, DrewNows said:

@Mu_Good message here for sure! Promotes a ton of growth. Simple sweet solid advice.

How effective do you think tallying the amount of times per day/week one acts against/doesnt act in accordance with their hearts desires or authentically (often creating regrets or reinforcing conditioning patterns) 

Hey DrewNows,

If by tallying you mean keeping a inward count, I'd say it depends on the person.  For some people this can create a positive reinforcement/motivational chain effect and I think this is a good thing as it can lead to a greater fulfillment and lessening of outward suffering.  But for some others this can just create a inward measurement of what kind of person they are or how much better they are towards others, both of which can be a distraction or cause of new suffering inwardly and outwardly.

Is there something specific your wondering about this in regards to you own life?  Perhaps I can narrow in better if you want to delve deeper.

[DrewNows]

10 hours ago, Mu_ said:

Hey DrewNows,

If by tallying you mean keeping a inward count, I'd say it depends on the person.  For some people this can create a positive reinforcement/motivational chain effect and I think this is a good thing as it can lead to a greater fulfillment and lessening of outward suffering.  But for some others this can just create a inward measurement of what kind of person they are or how much better they are towards others, both of which can be a distraction or cause of new suffering inwardly and outwardly.

Is there something specific your wondering about this in regards to you own life?  Perhaps I can narrow in better if you want to delve deeper.

Great answer thank you! 

No I am not sure really what I was thinking in asking this but I realize it’s something my mind tends to do (inward count) and sometimes this turns into a measurement 

I think it’s sort of funny, can the mind really know if it’s being authentic or not in the moment? I’d say heck no! But when I catch it start doing so, becoming self conscious, that’s the cue I’m trying to control things and this means, struggle, not trust 

I know it’s pretty much up to me, or within my power, to let life happen, to let go and be 

 

[Mu_]

For you it sounds like it may be better to let go of the count and measurement, because the mind can try to be authentic which sounds like may be happening here.