Is god lonely?

[Wyverz]

I had an ego death experience on mushrooms this weekend and it was the most terrifying experience I've ever been through. I was definitely not handling it the way I should have, as I kept denying and denying and denying. I felt like if I would have surrendered to the ego death I would have disappeared for good, so I kept clinging on to my regular human life as hard as I could. I had so much anxiety and I tried to make it go away by hugging my friend, but whenever I did I realized that it was just me hugging myself. This was the reason the trip was so terrifying. As I realized that I was just one big entity the feeling of loneliness became unbearable. 

Eventually I came back, gradually, but the feeling of loneliness is still lingering in my body. As I go throughout life, I keep thinking that it's just me everywhere I go. I googled and found people experiencing the same thing. Which makes me wonder, is god lonely? Is god creating boundaries and the idea of different entities to forget about it's own lonely existence? 

[ajasatya]

@Wyverz yes and no

[Wyverz]

1 minute ago, ajasatya said:

@Wyverz yes and no

Do you mind elaborating? 

[ajasatya]

5 minutes ago, Wyverz said:

Do you mind elaborating? 

True Nature is not supposed to be something that you are not.

the feeling of individuality is real and it's also a marvelous thing. just because you had a glimpse of truth, it doesn't mean that people around you aren't having a genuine conscious experience on a daily basis. why not be with them?

[Applejuice]

I havent had an ego death but Ive had bad trips to do with ego dissolution and resolved them. I just faced it. Even though its fucking hard just surrender to it and go into it just dive in straight to it. And see what happens.

[kieranperez]

I don’t know, You tell me  

Edited March 25, 2019 by kieranperez

[Wyverz]

14 minutes ago, Shiva said:

No, because he is everything, so he is friends and family with everybody.

Yes, because he is everything, so there's nothing that could keep him company.

So when god takes shape of individuality everything's fine, but when god experiences the absolute truth loneliness is present? 

[Wyverz]

24 minutes ago, ajasatya said:

True Nature is not supposed to be something that you are not.

the feeling of individuality is real and it's also a marvelous thing. just because you had a glimpse of truth, it doesn't mean that people around you aren't having a genuine conscious experience on a daily basis. why not be with them?

I agree, but once you've had a glimpse of the true nature it's pretty hard to return to the feeling of individuality although other people truly experience it. I'm actually slowly returning, thank god, but I have such bad paranoia that the ultimate truth is full of loneliness and misery. 

[Wyverz]

"God might be super pleased with Its own existence, but if the One is so god damn smart why does It go ahead and split into everything for all eternity? So It can have something else to see Itself in and delude Itself that It's not alone. God's loneliness literally created the Universe.

It IS alone. It always has been, It always will be, and It has nothing better to do than fractalize into infinite limited forms that torture themselves simply by virtue of not understanding. Not that they had a choice in the matter, the One decided for them."

This is freaking me out. 

Edited March 25, 2019 by Wyverz

[ajasatya]

@Wyverz now that the experience is gone, you're turning it into a belief and suffering because of it. let go already... it's already a lie. Truth is now.

[AlwaysBeNice]

Nope

[Nahm]

Anxiety is overthinking. You’ve got work to do on that. The overthinking is fueled by avoiding your sensations, feeling, emotions. They are messages of the truth, you’ve categorized them as something to be avoided. The richness of life, in truth, is in full emotion.  A lot of letting go to do, and you’re going to love how it feels, the more thinking you let go of.

You did not experience God, nor “God’s loneliness”. You experienced the intensity of overthinking, on a psychedelic. You weren’t ready. You knew you weren’t ready.  

You’re confused. You’re saying on one hand you experienced ego death, and the other hand “if I would have surrendered to the ego death”. 

Then you’re saying you had a “glimpse of the true nature”, then “it’s hard to return to individuality although other people truly experience it”. When there is a glimpse of the true nature, there certainly is no problem with individuality. 

Then you’re thanking God, that you’re returning. 

Sounds like you thought psychedelics would cure overthinking, and then took too much to enjoy, and too little to have an ego death. 

So now you’ve heightened your overthinking, and you’re using God to justify it. 

“The feeling of loneliness is still lingering in my body”.  It’s the sensation of “What you’re thinking is not true”. But you’re persisting with overthinking anyways, while you’re wondering why you feel terrible. 

LET GO!

Look around you right now. Tune in to what you are seeing & hearing right now. You are fine. You are completely fine. You don’t need to think about anything. Relax. Do something you enjoy. Give the path, and the thinking a day off man. Everything is ok. 

Start setting some time aside each day for relaxing, and for loving yourself. ♥️

Thinking is saying “everything is terrible”.    But look around you right now, actuality is saying “Dude, you’re fine”. 

 

[Wyverz]

1 minute ago, Nahm said:

Anxiety is overthinking. You’ve got work to do on that. A lot of letting go to do, and you’re going to love how it feels, the more thinking you let go of. You did not experience God, nor “God’s loneliness”. You experienced the intensity of overthinking, on a psychedelic. You weren’t ready. You knew you weren’t ready.  

You’re confused. You’re saying on one hand you experienced ego death, and the other hand “if I would have surrendered to the ego death”. 

Then you’re saying you had a “glimpse of the true nature”, then “it’s hard to return to individuality although other people truly experience it”. When there is a glimpse of the true nature, there certainly is no problem with individuality. 

Then you’re thanking God, that you’re returning. 

Sounds like you thought psychedelics would cure overthinking, and then took too much to enjoy, and too little to have an ego death. 

So now you’ve heightened your overthinking, and you’re using God to justify it. 

“The feeling of loneliness is still lingering in my body”.  It’s the sensation of “What you’re thinking is not true”. But you’re persisting with overthinking anyways, while you’re wondering why you feel terrible. 

LET GO!

Look around you right now. Tune in to what you are seeing & hearing right now. You are fine. You are completely fine. You don’t need to think about anything. Relax. Do something you enjoy. Give the path, and the thinking a day off man. Everything is ok. 

Start setting some time aside each day for relaxing, and for loving yourself. ♥️

Thinking is saying “everything is terrible”.    But look around you right now, actuality is saying “Dude, you’re fine”. 

 

❤️❤️❤️

[Nahm]

@Wyverz I love you. You’re fine, I promise. You totally deserve to take some deep breaths and relax. There is plenty of today left, and you can enjoy it. Keep letting go in your body, over and over, more and more deeply. Just let all that shit go man. 

[Nahm]

@Wyverz Also, you scared the shit out of yourself, with thinking. Been there, it absolutely blows, no doubt. 

But that wasn’t God.

When you let it all go, alllll of it, and find yourself cryin like a dang baby, and you feel that deep deep love, that strong loving healing - that’s God. 

And you don’t need to do a thing for access to that. You just let go of What you are doing, let go of that resistance, let all that fight go. You just give up. That’s it. Surrender. Trust me on this - you can’t win. Think all you want man, you can’t win. So just surrender, let go. Love and beloved.

[Highest]

God is not lonely, God is Alone. Is God aware that He lonely? No, because that isn't His aspect. God is fine being Alone. 

[Maya_0]

No, loneliness implies "other". There are no others, just the One. 

 

"So you stand alone but are never, never lonely because everywhere you look, all you see is That, and you are That" ~Adyashanti

 

 

[Forestluv]

@Wyverz I've had similar experiences on psychedelics - especially when I was new to them. I know that anxiety very well through direct experience. I would be cautious about over-analyzing it. When I went through something similar, it took me a while to recover from it and my thinking mind went into over-drive. I was really shaken up. . .  If it keeps coming up, I would just sit with it. Sit on a cushion and allow it to arise and express itself. Connect with other people that have had similar experience. It may be difficult, yet it may also be profound and beautiful. 

Also, it sounds like you were in the sub ego-death zone. Once ego death is crossed, the anxiety dissolves. There is no longer any person to be fearful for. The sub-ego death zone can be extremely uncomfortable. I've entered insanity zones here that I would not wish on anyone. Yet there are lessons in there. For example, I now connect with people that have anxiety and panic disorders very differently than I used to. I now have direct experience and can bond with them in a matter of seconds.

If you decide to trip again in the future, I would take a much smaller dose. It sounds like nature is telling you to stay away from the ego death zone for now. Mini doses have a very different dynamic, without the anxiety, and can be very insightful.

[cetus]

32 minutes ago, Maya_0 said:

"So you stand alone but are never, never lonely because everywhere you look, all you see is That, and you are That" ~Adyashanti

 

@Maya_0 Thanks for sharing. Had this same realization really strong today so it's a great confirmation. Love Adyashanti!

[Highest]

38 minutes ago, David Hammond said:

No, there isn't the one. The one would imply that there is a potential for more than one. There is not two and there is not one either. 

Mindblown? 

 

You will be! 

If not one or two, then what?