Stay Or Quit?

[Daphne]

Hey everyone,

Since the beginning of April I've got a new job. At first I was so happy getting the job but now I feel like it's too stressful for me and I can't handle it. I come from a background with lots of anxiety and stress and I feel like this job is bringing it all back again. I need to work too hard (harder than I can) and I don't enjoy it at all because all I think about is how I preform and the mistakes I make.

I don't know what I want in life. People always say that you need a job to make money and sustain your life but I don't feel this way at all. I don't want to work untill I'm dead. At least not this kind of job. I want to go away and live in nature. Money is not really important to me. 

What do you think I should do? Please be honest. I'm still in the 'test month' of this new job.

Also feel free to ask questions. I'm not that good in explaining myself, also my English isn't the best.

Lets say I should go for what I really want.. Live in an eco farm far away from society, in another country. How do I actually make this happen?

It feels impossible.

 

[Extreme Z7]

Start learning about self-actualization. Take baby steps to change your life. Nothing is going to fix itself overnight.

[Daphne]

it feels so double. On this one side I feel like I could learn a lot about myself if I continue pushing myself in doing this job.

 

but on the other side I kinda know its not what I want and it wont make me be my best self. This job is draining so much of my energy that it feels like ive got nothing left to self actualize. Its making me think too much in my head and I feel like it wont bring me any closer to peace of mind.

all my life I went around pleasing others and kind of go with the crowd but deep down I know im not that kind of person.

im not looking for a quick fix although I do admit that i can be a bit lazy.

[Unplugged]

I recently quit my job. I plan on writing a blog post or recording a video explaining, in detail, all aspects that led up to the decision.

The short answer is this: You have two choices. 1) Quit 2) Stay. Since you are still working there, obviously you have decided to stay. However, indecisiveness is a key indicator of lower level consciousness. So you are rationalizing in your head CONSTANTLY on whether or not you are making the right decision. As a result, you are constantly on the edge of your "comfort level." The prospect of staying AND leaving makes you uncomfortable due to many factors that I won't get into now. From my perspective, I was in this back and forth phase for over 3 years. I got a new job and then after the 1 to 2 month "exciting phase" of a new experience, I become content, bored, etc. So I quit the job and got a new one (definition of "fake growth")

Eventually, I got to the point where the prospect of "staying" made me more uncomfortable than "quitting," and that is what pushed me over the edge! However, this time, I quit for good! ("realer growth").

From reading what you have written, as brief as it is, I don't think you are at the point where quitting is the "higher consciousness" move. It seems like it is driven more by laziness and a "fantasy" you have created in your head on how your life will be after quitting. But I may be wrong. Only way to know is to take the time to take a DEEP DIVE into 1) why you want to quit 2) what will you do if you quit?

 

[Henri]

When money is not that important to you, quit the job.

In Holland there are lots of opportunities to study, work, both or whatever.

Just do not get stuck in daydreaming about some pleasant future. Move on, improve and develop yourself. Find a spiritual practice you like and go for it. This gives you steadiness and a base in your life. You sound very young, so now it`s the time to achieve that.

[Azrael]

2 hours ago, Daphne said:

I don't know what I want in life. People always say that you need a job to make money and sustain your life but I don't feel this way at all.

Look at your last sentence in the quote here, there you got a very clear answer to what you really want. Later in your post you describe it in detail what you really wanna do.

To your specific situation I'd say this: I don't know you but it seems to me that you put yourself into a all or nothing situation here that isn't needed at all and adds additional pressure to the situation that wouldn't have to be there in the first place. If your current job really is so hard on you, use all of your spare time in the next 2-4 weeks and get a new one.

I'm serious, use all resources. Even if you have to chose something that isn't your main profession but pays the bills for now, do that. It's way better to work in a boring, shitty job that pays the bills (for now) than work yourself into depression and being completely mixed up.

If you have a different job that pays the bills I'd suggest you do the following thing: Going with nature, abandoning society is really possible and a lot of fellows have done it before. Now, as you have a more relaxed job use at least 1-2 hours a day to research how to get out of society and into nature. I'm sure there are books on the topic, a lot of blogs etc. Go research and take lots of notes.

Than you want to carefully design a plan to execute your will here. Meaning, first I'd take like a 2 week holiday spending it in an environment you'd like to live and really see if this is something for you. Interview people on the topic etc. Find out if that is really what you want.

And finally, live your dream. I'd say if you take the next 6 months to plan this out and make little tests to see if this is the right thing, that can be totally possible. 6 months working for your dream life is nothing, compared to living in hell for ever.

Cheers to you!

[clytaemnestra]

The solution is not to run away from humankind, but to face your problem and find possible solution. Stay until you find better opportunity or job. 

[journeyseeker]

I feel the same way about my job sometimes too. I know I am not living my passion, but at the same time we all need a job to survive. I find that having a life purpose that you pursue on the side and learn more about yourself at night/on the weekends will motivate you to use the funds from your job and start putting that extra money towards what you really like. If it becomes something you can make money from some day its a win win, but I think for most people its hard to quit a job and dive 100% into something new without a huge bank account that will allow you do that. Honestly most people hate their job for the 1st 6 months anyway, so try to fully think through every way this could affect you before you decide what's best for you. 

[Guest SCM]

If you place a thing in the center of your life that lacks the power to nourish, it will eventually poison everything in and around you! 

If you don't depend on the money, go ahead and quit. If you need the money, find a new job first. 

I've quit jobs before. It's ok. It always turned out for the better. Good luck to you!