Are "necessary" Values meaningful?

[AlexJ]

Hi there,

I'm currently doing the Values exercises in the LPC. I'm currently at Pass #4. Within my new list, there's one value I'm not 100% sure should be on the list.

Structure. (In the sense of structuring my thoughts, my tasks, goals etc. in a way that give me peace of mind. Knowing everything is in the correct order and accounted for. - if that makes any sense...)

It's not a value I strive for per se, but I count it as a "necessity".

I just can't function without it, so I feel it's extremely important - if not vital - in my life. (I'm almost certain I'm on the autism spectrum, that might explain why I think it's an important, if not quite "meaningful" value per se.)

I can't really come up with something that's more meaningful than being able to function properly, yet structure itself doesn't make me fulfilled either.

 

The same thing could be argued about health (not on my list). Maybe not super meaningful and fulfilling in of its own, but somehow a "must have" for a good life.

 

I'd be interested in hearing your take on it.

[Zetxil]

6 hours ago, AlexJ said:

Hi there,

I'm currently doing the Values exercises in the LPC. I'm currently at Pass #4. Within my new list, there's one value I'm not 100% sure should be on the list.

Structure. (In the sense of structuring my thoughts, my tasks, goals etc. in a way that give me peace of mind. Knowing everything is in the correct order and accounted for. - if that makes any sense...)

It's not a value I strive for per se, but I count it as a "necessity".

I just can't function without it, so I feel it's extremely important - if not vital - in my life. (I'm almost certain I'm on the autism spectrum, that might explain why I think it's an important, if not quite "meaningful" value per se.)

I can't really come up with something that's more meaningful than being able to function properly, yet structure itself doesn't make me fulfilled either.

First off, all values are meaningful! Meaning is a free flowing concept that can be applied to any situation or circumstance. 

Ask yourself the question, What does it mean to function properly? Let us know and we may be able to help you a little get on track to proper functioning! For me, you already are functioning properly! <3 

6 hours ago, AlexJ said:

The same thing could be argued about health (not on my list). Maybe not super meaningful and fulfilling in of its own, but somehow a "must have" for a good life.

 

I'd be interested in hearing your take on it.

You will find that people who have a "good life" are the ones that are in the sickest places. It may be a "must have" for you, but if you spend time in hospitals or nursing homes (or places where people are truly in poor health) you'll find that some live "good" lives and some live "bad" lives.

Try to find other words to describe things when you want to use good or bad in a statement. Those two words are too dichotic in nature to express any real meaning to another individual. 

[AlexJ]

9 hours ago, Zetxil said:

First off, all values are meaningful! Meaning is a free flowing concept that can be applied to any situation or circumstance. 

Ask yourself the question, What does it mean to function properly? Let us know and we may be able to help you a little get on track to proper functioning! For me, you already are functioning properly! <3 

1

Thanks for your reply.

What functioning properly means to me:

Being able to think straight. If I don't structure my thoughts I get nervous and stressed and I'm in "pet-mode", where I keep running around in circles, trying to catch my own tail. Once I do get some structure by sitting down and map things out I'm able to think clearer and more concise. Without structure I wind myself up - sometimes to such an extent where I get so overwhelmed that I just quit altogether.

Also, having peace of mind in terms of all the things I need to do. Without a proper to-do list, I get so overwhelmed that I don't get anything done, avoiding all work, as there's too much to do for too little time and energy.

Without structuring my thoughts, my tasks and my day I can't think properly. And since I constantly think as long as I'm awake, this can lead to a terrible downward spiral. Now, simply to "stop overthinking" doesn't help me, as it's part of how I process things and how my brain neurologically works.

 

I guess structure, in fact, is very meaningful to me - if not the single most meaningful thing I have.

However, I feel like it's also a negative motivation that drives me away from not being able to think straight, to feeling overwhelmed and to avoid pain. On the other hand, I could also say that structure helps me to feel peace of mind, to calm myself down and to think clearly. 

[Zetxil]

@AlexJ

Great we can work off that! To me, what you're expressing shows that structure, to you, can be meaningful in both a negative and positive way! it seems simple that you have to weigh the outcomes of having proper structure compared to not having structure! Is it worth it to be scatter brained and think more laterally about things or implement structure and be able to think more vertically. Both processes of thought can be extremely useful and we all must balance those two in order to adapt to the situation! People who are really good at thinking laterally, are often comedic in nature (attached vid) 

whereas more vertical thinking leads to more serious forms of interaction! They are both useful in the right situation and can be detrimental in the wrong one! 

Don't stop overthinking  

"someone who thinks all the time, has nothing to think about, but thoughts themselves" 

Good luck on your adventure of trying to find what works best for you! 

[Forestluv]

@AlexJ This seems like either / or thinking. I would shift the orientation to degrees.

Consider taking a trip to a foreign country. At one extreme, everything is planned. Every minute of the day. There is zero room for any spontaneity or flexibility in plans. At the other extreme is no plans. You don’t know what country you will visit, what airport you will land in or where you will stay. You just appear with zero planning. You could end up in the article wearing a bathing suit. No planning at all.

I think most people would avoid either extreme. We want to learn where in the continuum we fall. Some people like more structure, others less so. I am definitely toward the less structure side. I like a basic foundation of structure (e.g. to plan the plane tickets, the first few nights of lodging and transportation fro the airport to lodging). Yet I like a lot of flexibility and spontaneity when we are there. I would estimate I like 25% structure in life in 75% unstructured.

[AlexJ]

Thanks for both of your answers.

I've since advanced in the exercises to pass #9 that addresses this issue in more detail. So it looks like I was somewhat ahead of the schedule.

I've also already re-wrote my definition of structure in a more positive light by combining it with productivity and using time and energy efficiently.