Please advise!

[ASJ]

I have been married for 6 yrs now. I am dealing with toxic in-laws who constantly show favoritism to my brother-in-law and his wife (1-2 yrs younger to me and my husband)and manipulate us for their own benefit/needs. My husband denies this whereas I clearly see their cunning and selfish motives. I saw your YouTube video on how to deal with toxic people and you mentioned to cut-off from those who threaten your values or peace of mind. I love my husband very much and do not want my in-laws to affect my marriage. How do I do this? Please help me with your advise.

[SoonHei]

@ASJ hey. welcome to the forum

i am no expert in this field and i hope someone else also shares their POV/answer with you. but i will tell you this.

people have many perspectives and all differ.

if you show a random object to a room of 50 people, there will be 50 different ways it is being viewed/thought about. 

 

what helps me in situation such as yours in truly viewing the situation from the other person's Point of view (pov)

keep in mind, there are only relative POVs. yours vs others.

you have to understand that nobody just does anything or believe in something for the sake of it...

if you do not believe in ghosts and someone else does, then you have to truly understand this . understand that to the one believing in ghost or demons, it is as real a fact as earth being round for example.

 

to someone who has had a paranormal experience, it is a very true thing... a doctor or scientist may give him/her explanation which stems from their own understanding and pov... but it doesn't change the fact that the person directly experienced it for themselves. 

 

each party always only (naturally) protects its own interest.

when you happen to be on the opposing side, there naturally will be conflict

it is like watching a game of football and either supporting team A or team B. there is no "right" team who should win or deserves to win. it is just a game and there are 2 teams and supporters for each side.

 

so before cutting off ties. just UNDERSTAND that the other party do not view their actions/beliefs are wrong and they are 100% correct for them as anything you might believe is 100% for you.

 

a suicide bomber 100% believes that he will be going to heaven after doing his deed. to him, it is such a strong deep belief that he willingly blows himself up for it

 

IT IS ALL RELATIVE