How to comunicate non-duality to other people?

[cetus]

@mandyjw Stephen Wolinsky address this too at the beginning of this video.

 

[mandyjw]

@cetus56 Wow, that is excellent, thank you. 

This thread reminded me of some past conversations here about Jim Carey and how he just comes off as completely insane now that he's on a spiritual path. I truly believe that he is on the right path but he doesn't seem to realize that he can only embody it because when he speaks it he is turning it into duality. I did the same thing for years and continue to do it, but hopefully a bit less now.  

 

 

 

[ivankiss]

By communicating it to yourself.

[cetus]

@mandyjw I though the part about the tree being both a duality and non dual merged as one was a brilliant insight. Thanks for sharing!

[Forestluv]

@Peo Nonduality is post-intellectual / post-rational so it is very hard to communicate through rational discussion. 

People on this forum are spending waaay too much time in intellectual zones. There are other modes of being that are much juicier. Explaining nonduality through the intellect is like eating a cardboard picture of chocolate. Go straight to the source. Go straight to the direct experience of eating chocolate.

Direct experience is much more powerful and direct. Nearly everyone has had glimpses of nonduality. Guide them into reflecting on the own direct experience. For example:

1. Imagine a time in your life you were awestruck by something magnificent. For me, this was seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time and stepping in St. Peters Bascillus in the Vatican. It was so magnificent is was overwhelming. I was speechless. I stood there for a few moments and dissolved. There were no thoughts and no "me". I was still aware, yet there was just magnificence, just beauty. Oneness. After a few moments my self kicked back in and I started thinking things like "This is so amazing!!!! I totally need to get a picture of this and post in on Facebook. I wish that couple would get out of the way - they are blocking my view". Notice the difference between the nondual glimpse and the conditioned dualistic state. These are very short glimpses and most people may not reflect on them. Yet nearly everyone has had an experience like this and you can encourage them to reflect on it. 

2. Love. Many people have had moments in which they experienced deep love. Perhaps with a child, a pet or a lover. The person "melts" and loses sense of themself. There is no "me" and "you" there is just the presence of love. This is generally a very brief glimpse and the person "snaps out of it". Then they start thinking dualistically again. Stuff like "I love you", "This feels so good" or insecure thoughts like "What if she leaves me?". Again, notice the contrast between the nondual experience and the dualistic conditioning.

3. Flow States. a.k.a "being in the zone". Most people who have participated in sports or can play a musical instrument has had glimpses into flow states - the zone. For example, a football player completely in the Now. All thoughts dissolve. All sense of "me" dissolve. There is just happenings in the moment. Similarly, a musician playing the trumpet that loses sense of themself and environment. It's as if the person is one with the instrument. As if the trumpet is playing itself. Again, these are brief glimpses. The athlete will snap out of it and think dualistically again. Stuff like "He fouled me!!". The musician might start thinking dualistically with stuff like "dang, I just missed that note". 

Nearly everyone can relate to one or more of the above. Not only that, it is also a HUGE turn on and gets people's interest. The above examples are the juice of life. Everyone wants to experience more of it. Now imagine telling someone that rather than being in the zone for 2 seconds once a month, you can be in the zone state 20min everyday. Who wouldn't want that? After explaining the above, I ask people "What percentage of your day do you spend in the above states of consciousness?". For most people these are small glimpses - perhaps 0.01% of their life. So brief they may not even be consciously aware of it. I've explained the above and people have responded "Yes! I've experienced that! I didn't know it was a real thing. I didn't know it had a name. How do I experience more of it?". 

Now I tell people two things. . . Imagine increasing your time of the above nondual states from 0.01% of your life to 1% of your life. That is a 100X increase. Everyone says sign me up. Next I say "I only gave you three flavors of nondual states. There are dozens more that are equally wonderful". This increases their interest and and desire.

 

[tsuki]

5 hours ago, Peo said:

So how do i comunicate this to my family and my friends?

@Peo By living harmoniously.

Explaining it will only serve to trigger people like you've noticed. Try putting it into practical context, without spiritual jargon.
Share your inner peace and reassurance. If they become curious 'why' you're so benevolent, you may share something introductory with them.
This doesn't happen often though, so don't be too fixated on that.

[WelcometoReality]

@Peo Going all in on the you don't exist argument is probably not a good idea. And non duality is to big for people to grasp. Maybe you can talk about the practical upsides of it. Less negative emotions, more calmness. I'm sure they won't mind that. ?

[Identity]

@Peo I think there can be value in communicating about your non-dual pursuit and belief systems to other people. I don't know how far along you are, but for me it started as just beliefs and theory. At this stage you still have a very persistent sense of self, just your identity and perspective on the world changes. At this point I mostly kept to myself because with every conversation I tried to start about this type of stuff I pushed people further away. This however created problems for me because it created this rift between what I thought and felt and what I said and did, for which I felt increasingly inauthentic. This closed down my throat chakra. I had to work quite a bit to restore this balance again.

Not sure in what position you are and what is wise to do for you, just wanted to share my experience so you are aware that not talking about it can produce some problems. I like welcometoreality's approach: talk about it in a way other people can relate or understand a bit. For me the dream metaphor and virtual reality worked all right. Also, writing your views out can help.

[Nahm]

@Peo

Nonduality is not the reason you want to go on the retreat.  

What is the reason(s)?

[Manjushri]

6 hours ago, mandyjw said:

f a retreat is part of your journey you'll manifest the experience without effort. 

could you explain this? this is so different from my beliefs about reality.

[Joseph Maynor]

9 hours ago, Shin said:

Unless you've awaken and are healthy enough to not let your shadows hurt your students,

You really should just focus on yourself.

Does this advice apply to you too?  What's good for the goose is good for the gander, no?

What a thing to say without knowing anything about this person.  

Edited March 20, 2019 by Joseph Maynor

[Joseph Maynor]

This might help you Peo:

 

Edited March 20, 2019 by Joseph Maynor

[Shin]

7 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:

Does this advice apply to you too?  What's good for the goose is good for the gander, no?

What a thing to say without knowing anything about this person.  

No one is coming to me for advice where I live (except extremely rarely by pm here).

I don't even know anyone from any spiritual circles too.

So yes I'm not teaching, and I shouldn't until I fully embodied the mind and the heart, if that ever happens.

 

[Juan Cruz Giusto]

What works for me is telling them about Mysticism: "the belief that consciousness of the absolute, or the spiritual apprehension of knowledge inaccessible to the intellect, may be attained through contemplation or meditation". Just tell them that you don't know who or what you are and you are trying to figure it out.

 

[Pelin]

@Peo To me, explaining nonduality using language is quite limited because the human language itself is dual. When you try to explain it, unless you are a gifted teacher, you are at the risk of sounding insane and people will definitely not relate to you, like Jim Carrey as others suggested here. 

Try to communicate it by experiencing it. You don't have to speak about it unless you are asked directly. Don't just waste your energy on finding the right words, even to yourself, spend it on embodying it and people will see there is something different in you, but more likely this will be about peace and love instead of "my kid's just gone mad, we need to see a shrink."

I almost never talk about my spiritual journey, nonduality and stuff like that with my husband for example. On the outer shelf, he identifies with being very logical, very scientific, and a bit religious too. He mostly resists non-religious spiritual teachings. Because I know he resists it, I don't feed his resistance by using my words. However, I can see just living with him and being myself is changing him immensely. 

And the consciousness will continue to raise whether or not you talk about it. So just focus on your consciousness, and it will benefit the consciousness of all beings on the planet.  

[Shadowraix]

You could always say you are just trying to find yourself. Going on a retreat for soul seeking so to speak most can get behind. A time to figure out what you are, what you have, and what you want to do. To get away from the business of the world to have peace and quiet to work on yourself. 

You could also mention ever since you began this journey youve seen improvements to your well being. 

Most people are fine just hearing that you've found a way to become happier because behind all that dogma they do want you happy. 

Edited March 21, 2019 by Shadowraix

[ivory]

TL;DR Keep your mouth shut regarding non-duality.

I've given up trying to talk to people about non-duality. Instead, I tell them that I like spending time in meditation. Meditation has mental health benefits and I like the way it makes me feel. That sort of thing. As for the theory, I tell people that I'm a deep thinker and that I love philosophy. I don't go into details because it freaks people out and makes them think you're weird. If people really want to know more, I talk in terms of Buddhism because it's more socially acceptable than saying, "time is an illusion and so are you." I just say that Buddhism has been around for thousands of years and it's basically a philosophy for living a life that makes you more happy and healthy. Sometimes I mention that at one point I developed an interest in mind mechanics and how I should have become a psychotherapist. Over time you learn what to say and not to say.

[nistake]

11 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

@Peo Nonduality is post-intellectual / post-rational so it is very hard to communicate through rational discussion. 

etc

etc

Excellent post!

Edited March 21, 2019 by nistake