Didn't Understand LPC's Negative Values Release

[Lise]

Hello!

I'm confused about the negative values release exercise. When Leo tells you to find a positive lesson you learnt from the traumatic experience - how? Personally, I thought about the moment I found out that the other pupils called me "monkeygirl" behind my back, because they thought I looked like a monkey. Now, I'm supposed to find a positive lesson I got from that experience? Have I misunderstood completely, or is this really what I'm supposed to do? If yes, I'm not sure how? I'm kind of confused.

 

I sincerely hope that somebody can help me.

- Lise

[Nahm]

@Lise Do some quick research on why people name call other people. 

[Elisabeth]

@Lise What good could (in terms of inner growth) could the experience give you? There could be several.

You could turn it into compassion: Now you understand how judging based on looks hurts, so you won't play that game.

You could look at the opposite of your shame and isolation: Now you know how important it is to have people in your life who appreciate you, and you can properly appreciate them back.

You could also, in your imagination, step up for your inner child and defend it against the accuser. (Not sure what lesson that brings, but try it.) 

You could realize that your dreams, likes, values, aspirations are totally untouched by being called names: Now you know your inner worth is independent from other people's opinion. 

However, the lesson you find, must be felt and worded by you. Take inspiration, and find what resonates. 

[Nahm]

3 hours ago, Sam Barker said:

@Nahm They name call either because they're insecure and want to make themselves feel better or to impress others. So, what's the positive lesson behind that?

Why do they feel the need to do that?

[Nahm]

@Sam Barker And why are they insecure?

[Nahm]

@Sam Barker And what are ‘their battles’, exactly?

[Nahm]

@Sam Barker so how much is a name caller suffering?

[Nahm]

1 hour ago, Sam Barker said:

i think it comes down to self-validation 

It comes down to not needing self validation. 

[Lise]

Wow, thank you very much! I finally understand now! *bowing down in the dust*

[Nahm]

@Sam Barker Needing validation from someone else, is like believing I can’t really be happy unless someone makes me happy. It’s a perpetual losing battle, in terms of happiness. There is a reason someone started believing they need validation from another, which became a belief about their self they are holding on to in fear, which is delusional, as they actually are, happiness.