Sexuality Vs Purity

[KP_Spirituality27]

 

Hey. I am on the no-fap for about 300 days, although I had a lot of relaps throughout this period, more or less so many days I do not watch REGULAR porn. I feel that my ego desperately needs sexuality. It wants a beautiful partner and sex. On the other hand, my spirit wants to keep my creative life energy. I also know that celibacy speeds up the activation of Kundalini. This is another step that motivates me. Can I get some advice from you? My ego wants sex, and the soul wants purity.

[Shin]

You can have sex without ejaculating.
Read the "Mutli orgasmic man".

Rejecting your sexuality is not really healthy, just like delving totally into lust and becoming addict to sex isn't either.
Purity is a concept that makes people rigid in their activities, just do what feels right for you, what feels right for your soul (and not your judgmental human mind).

Edited March 18, 2019 by Shin

[KP_Spirituality27]

 

Easy to say. I do not have a gf and I do not know any spiritual woman, and with normal I can not get involved. I know that such a relationship would not last for a month. We follow a completely different path.

[Nahm]

1 hour ago, KP_Spirituality27 said:

First see if where you’re at has any false assumptions baked in. That’s likely to end up being the realization of what the “problem” is. 

I am on the no-fap

How do you absolutely know it is true, that nofapping is beneficial?

 for about 300 days, although I had a lot of relaps throughout this period, more or less so many days I do not watch REGULAR porn.

That’s interesting. What kind do you watch?

jk

I feel that my ego desperately needs sexuality.

No ego. “I feel I want to express and explore my sexuality”.  Be careful with blaming the “ego”. People made a Devil that way.

It wants a beautiful partner and sex.

No ego. “I want a beautiful partner and sex”.

On the other hand, my spirit wants to keep my creative life energy.

No spirit. “I want to experience my creative energy, I want to activate my kundalini”

I also know that celibacy speeds up the activation of Kundalini.

How do you absolutely know that is true?

This is another step that motivates me. Can I get some advice from you? My ego wants sex, and the soul wants purity.

Drop the beliefs in an “ego” and “soul”.   Are you experiencing your twoness? Have you ever experienced that you are two?  It’s a bit silly, don’t you think?

 

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, KP_Spirituality27 said:

 

Hey. I am on the no-fap for about 300 days, although I had a lot of relaps throughout this period, more or less so many days I do not watch REGULAR porn. I feel that my ego desperately needs sexuality. It wants a beautiful partner and sex. On the other hand, my spirit wants to keep my creative life energy. I also know that celibacy speeds up the activation of Kundalini. This is another step that motivates me. Can I get some advice from you? My ego wants sex, and the soul wants purity.

Transcending the attachment to sexuality (or anything else, for that matter) comes about gradually through shadow work, meditation, consciousness work, etc.

It is not something that can or should be willed and chosen by you. It comes about on its own when it's meant to unfold, and it does so outside of the control of the conscious mind's decision to do so.

If you try to stop yourself from having sexual needs, then you'll just end up repressing and having a "contents under pressure" situation. And you just end up with another restrictive ego structure to add to your identity that you'll call "purity" or "celibacy" or whatever it is. Either way, it will only be an affair of the mind and not the heart or body.

So, my recommendation is to explore these sexual desires both meditatively and through actually experiencing the things you desire.

Do not resist your emotions or condemn them... instead get curious about them and see where they lead. See what the actual desire is that lies below all other desires.

Do not repress, embrace with curiosity and love.

[Alex]

Its nice that you want to drop the Porn. I would sugest if the urge is to strong to redirect your sexual energy to dating women and getting to know them (most woman a facinated and very open to spiritualiy but maybe not the way you are).

Otherwise masturabting without porn will automatically make you mastubate less and only if you actually need to, furthermore the unrealistic expectations it instills in your mind will slowly fade away.

I recomend that you watch this Video, was very eye opening for me

 

Edited March 18, 2019 by Alex

[JohnnyBravo]

Then go get a sexual partner, fulfill these desires enough times until you begin to realise the futility of it all.

Your asking a highly advanced question I dont think myself or anyone on this forum is good to answer.

 

Seek out a master if your journey is that serious.

[KP_Spirituality27]

Thanks you for answers. I appreciate it.

 

 

I repeat myself. I can not create a relationship with a normal woman. Should I fuck and then leave? You must understand this. Thats nonsense.

So far, I believe that celibacy is the best option for me, at least in the situation in which I am currently. It's not like I can not stand my sexuality all the time. Most of the day I forget about it and I do not bother me with excess energy, but when I see a beautiful woman, it's easy to wake up that energy ...

[JohnnyBravo]

Some genuine probing of mine...why is it you say you cannot create a relationship with a woman?

[KP_Spirituality27]

8 minutes ago, JohnnyBravo said:

Pewne prawdziwe badanie ... dlaczego mówisz, że nie możesz stworzyć związku z kobietą?

How i can make a relationship with no spiritual girl? No kidding. We do not get along, acting on completely different levels of consciousness.

[JohnnyBravo]

Do you mean all the women you have met so far in your life?

[flowboy]

4 hours ago, KP_Spirituality27 said:

I can not create a relationship with a normal woman.

Then learn to! What makes a spiritual or non-spiritual woman anyway? What makes you think you can judge that?

 

Edited March 19, 2019 by flowboy

[Aeris]

A too much spiritual man can makes spiritual everything he touches

[mandyjw]

A committed relationship is an easy way to have the best of both worlds. A relationship is only a huge potential for distraction from spirituality at the beginning, if you settle down with someone you're much more free to still follow your spiritual path. There are plenty of spiritual women. Women are more drawn to spirituality and open to it than men. Maybe not this particular brand. Women don't always go as deep with spirituality and are better able to juggle it with other parts of life than men, most men only like to deeply focus on one thing at a time. You might have to get more creative about finding a spiritually inclined woman. 

 

Edited March 19, 2019 by mandyjw

[Girzo]

You can have sex in a pure form. It's not a matter of the act, but how you approach it. The girl doesn't have to be a spiritual person in order for you to treat her as a manifestation of the Goddess. God is hidden in everything you can see and every action you can take.

Bring mindfulness into sex. Be aware of your bodies, energies flowing, emotions arising. Try to transform it into meditation, without imposing anything on the girl, just treat her with the utmost compassion.

I have heard that semen retention helps in getting more consciousness of your sexual energies, but don't know any other helpful technique. Here's a link if you are interested: https://www.nateliason.com/blog/multiple-orgasms-men.

[Shadowraix]

5 minutes ago, Girzo said:

You can have sex in a pure form. It's not a matter of the act, but how you approach it. The girl doesn't have to be a spiritual person in order for you to treat her as a manifestation of the Goddess. God is hidden in everything you can see and every action you can take.

Bring mindfulness into sex. Be aware of your bodies, energies flowing, emotions arising. Try to transform it into meditation, without imposing anything on the girl, just treat her with the utmost compassion.

I have heard that semen retention helps in getting more consciousness of your sexual energies, but don't know any other helpful technique. Here's a link if you are interested: https://www.nateliason.com/blog/multiple-orgasms-men.

 

4 hours ago, flowboy said:

Then learn to! What makes a spiritual or non-spiritual woman anyway? What makes you think you can judge that?

 

+1 to you guys. Solid advice.

Be careful about creating these dualities between spiritual and non spiritual. The ego likes to label things and blame others for how they are when actually the problem is with you.

[KP_Spirituality27]

Thanks you for answers. It gives me a lot to think about

Okay. But the next thing is...I do not even have an idea where I can meet girls. I live in the countryside, I lead a peaceful life. I do not spend time in the city, I do not go to clubs. I just sit at home and meditate, and do simple things. 

[Forestluv]

@KP_Spirituality27 There is so much variety in relationships. Every relationship dynamic is unique. There can be amazing insights, intimacy, personal and spiritual growth. Experiencing deep intimacy and oneness with another through love, laughter, joy and sadness is some of the most magnificent aspects of life. As well, there can be distractions, manipulations, dishonesty, selfishness, control issues that are really unhealthy. And all sorts of combinations of above. 

It sounds like you are grounded and not needy/desperate. I think this is key in being patient and selective for good chemistry. 

[flowboy]

Much respect for being mentally flexible enough to consider unexpected answers and immediately think about the next step!

Since you are looking for a particular type of connection with a girl, you will have to meet a lot of them and learn to screen for qualities you want.

There's no way around regularly spending at least some time in the city, or online dating. Preferably both.

[mandyjw]

@KP_Spirituality27

You have to go find a community with values like your own. Go to a yoga class. A lot of yoga teachers are young women who are very inclined to spirituality. And they LOVE men that do yoga. You might have to get over the fact that it's not the right kind of yoga, or if you're in a big enough area you will be able to find one that is the right kind of yoga. A spiritual organization of some kind, a very open-minded church? There are groups that get together to meditate. You could go to an Eckhart Tolle event, (women love him) or any event with some other spiritual teacher. There are different organizations that do hospice care or reiki, any organization that attracts highly conscious spiritual people.

Don't do it just to meet girls, find something you actually want to do. Just being around people will help you and challenge you on your spiritual journey. You have to be around people first to even know which ones you like and want to spend MORE time with.