I will cold approach girls - report

[Rachityczny]

Hey there!

I`m 19, haven`t really been in a proper relationship, want to fuck a girl and have a girlfriend. I`ve been resisting getting better at game, commitment to become more attractive for months and years. Last Thursday, during weekly meetings with my accountability partner, I commited to cold approach or date girls at least 3 hours a week and learn theory about attractiveness, masculinity, pickup, sex and everything connected for at least 2 hours a week.

Today i tried to cold approach girls at the shopping centre.  It went horrible. Didn`t approach any girl. Only conversation i had during this time was with marketing people who wanted me to open an account in bank they worked for. It took me 18 minutes to feel I can`t even try to cold approach. Now I`m like 10 minutes from that event. Need to break approach anxiety. Things i will do in next two days:

- listen to and do exercises from "How to stop being a victim" with pickup/relationships in mind

- work more on RSD Max`s course on pickup

- think of what to say to girl when cold approaching

- cold approach for 2 hours 40 minutes more to reach my weekly goal

Edited March 18, 2019 by Rachityczny

[SFRL]

Sure work on your game. But are you working on your value as well? 

Also known as SMV or Sexual Market Value. 

 

Edited March 18, 2019 by SFRL

[Dumb Enlightened]

I have a technique, when you are at the shopping centre for example, and you see a girl, just approach her immediately, don't give time for your mind to think about it, instead of thinking just do it, instead of thinking about what to say, just say anything. In the begging it will probably suck, but it will get better.

[Rachityczny]

@SFRL

I looked into first search result: https://revolutionarylifestyledesign.com/calculate-maximize-sexual-market-value/.

I think the concept is quite bullshit. I think game is important, but not that much in the long run. Relationship skills seem don`t quite hit the mark to me. Looks and status? That`s totally secondary. I think this SMV accounts for no more than 30% of how good you are with women. I work and will work on my leadership, sense of humor, social skills, having goals, self-esteem and being a man strong both physically and emotionally.

 

@Dumb Enlightened That`s great advice- this technique doesn`t give you time to get approach anxiety, which is really good.

[ajasatya]

31 minutes ago, Rachityczny said:

https://revolutionarylifestyledesign.com/calculate-maximize-sexual-market-value/

i got a 2/10 social market value. oh wow, i'm such a poor being. my life sucks! shame on me!

seriously now, i did get a 2/10 even though i am married with the sweetest woman on earth. and as an extra, she's really cute as well.

i've always been terrible at "gaming". in the end, the true beauty of a human being lies on their fluency and commitment with health and human virtues.

Edited March 18, 2019 by ajasatya

[Arcangelo]

The chart is hilarious! LOL

 

[Rachityczny]

I just thought i will do a quick update on my progress.

 

Here is the link to the worksheet i did (sharing this way bcs it`s quite long):

https://www.evernote.com/l/AjP1lEtXw71BvIuslJ4cUYB88MgpHI1y4Qs/

The thought i had right now: I can become incredible with girls - i just need to set tangible goals and keep the ball rolling ??????

[mandyjw]

@ajasatya Looking for a committed relationship is an entirely different thing. 

@Rachityczny Do you want to get laid or have a girlfriend, which is it? The approach and even type of girl you're looking for is entirely different. Don't look to RSD stuff if you are looking for more than just sex. 

[Rachityczny]

@mandyjw My lower self and main goal right now is to get laid. I`m horny teen who wants to see a pussy (lol). I want to be confident to approach pornstar-level beatiful girl and fuck her so good that she begs me for more.  I want to get rid of this really big neediness that i feel right now, and pressure that is given by me and society ("He is 19 yo virgin, what a loser"). I want to be confident with girls, with being sexual. Right now my sexuality is Blue (bcs of family i grew up in), making it Orange is a big step in the right direction (ofc i mean Spiral Dynamics; getting laid and whole pickup community`s values are mostly Orange). If i find nice, intelligent and valuable girl during my cold approaches i will most likely make her my girlfriend.

My higher self and long-term goal is basically to get into Green relationship and social dynamics. My dream girl more or less is according to "Way of The Superior Man", therefore I want a free and feminine woman with which i can have meaningful conversations, big goals about ourselves and the relationship, which will understand me. She will be attractive and very feminine.

I just think that if I can`t approach any girl, i need to start the work from that. And I will repeat - I`m needy, which super unattractive, and imo the best way to get rid of neediness is to cold approach, date and fuck a lot of girls.

Edited March 18, 2019 by Rachityczny

[SFRL]

 

 

Edited March 19, 2019 by SFRL

[mandyjw]

@Rachityczny Do you really want to attract other needy girls though, just to sleep with them? I don't think you need to move through stage orange if you already have some stage green values. I'd skip right to the part where you actually care about the other person in the relationship. The problem is that you already have aspirations of stage green values, which that means you care and are already partially stage green. Contrary to common belief, in a typical relationship a man loves a woman more than she loves him back. A man cares about a woman's pleasure more than she cares about his. The potential for coming out of a one night stand needier than ever is huge. 

The only way you're going to get rid of neediness is to embrace and move into stage green because stage orange is all about being needy, the neediness only stops when you learn to focus on giving to the other person. Mindset change is thinking of what I need to thinking of what I can give another person. That's going to attract girls a lot faster. 

BTW, women love virgins and they love nerds and the more RSD crap you all do the more we love the opposite of that shit. 

[SFRL]

29 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

@Rachityczny 

Contraryto common belief, in a typical relationship a man loves a woman more than she loves him back. A man cares about a woman's pleasure more than she cares about his. 

That's an interesting statement coming from a woman. 

*Your YouTube channel is not bad actually. 

Edited March 19, 2019 by SFRL

[mandyjw]

@SFRL We're just not that into you. That's definitely not true of a needy or inexperienced woman, but generally that's not the type you're trying to attract. 

Women that know how to attract and make men desire them are very in tune with their own desires and pleasure. They are already fulfilled, but if you can offer them more or fulfill another desire that's great. We don't need men the way men need us. We have close relationships with our friends, we are better at social skills and relating to others and we often don't seek so much from a mate that men do from us. We're wired to love our children more than anything and focus completely on them when that time comes. We want security for that reason. Men are wired to always continue to want women. Especially in a culture that is very stage orange and masculine and celebrates masculinity and encourages women to be more masculine, true femininity is a power like no other.

But to some of you, we're just objects to fuck. We'll continue to reject you, frustrate you or hurt you until you understand that you are actually wanting to experience so much more than that. 

[Rachityczny]

@mandyjw

Your words are quite compelling. But I don't want to get laid with needy girls, I want the best, confident girls.But I have a few more questions and objections. 

1)I want to fully embrace stage orange. That for me means getting to know girls in orange style.  I need to embrace each stage fully, and that needs time and commitment. I feel that care about people is my personal value, it just doesn't feel right to hurt them. It's true that I'm a nice guy, but that's not girls attracted to- still I can keep my respect towards others. 

2)I'm not really sure if these values you label green aren't really blue. I have some green values, but they don't dominate.

3)How will I attract a really attractive green woman if I go into green with my experience with girls? She must have abundance of great relationships and men to choose, I will be propably the last one she will want. And neediness totally kills attraction. Actually, there is a girl I know which is mostly green, she is extremely attractive to me, but she is bisexual and polyamoric- I wouldn't want her to be with other guys and girls when my relationship with her is the first I'm really committed. And I don't think she would want me anyway Ye, the belief that I'm not worth love is one I want to change the most. 

4) RSD provides me a set of steps, tangible action steps that I can execute in order to move in a direction. And that's extremely valuable for a person that has been rejecting to really work on relationships for a long time. If cons of doing the course will be more than pros, I won't do it anymore. Now it's good kick in the ass- habits and routines are king in terms of growth. 

5)I just feel I need to do something. Right. Fucking. Now. It really feels like do or die situation. I feel like I can't wait anymore - it will be harder every day. Neediness kills me, I masturbate much too often, this and no success with women kills my self-esteem, which influences every area of my life. It really feels like a giant hole in myself and I need to do something asap. And transition into green is totally unknown in terms of time it will take. Apart from that, if my sexuality is blue (which I strongly believe), I must must must go through orange. 

 

[mandyjw]

Why do you think your sexuality is blue? Were you raised in a religious family? 

The problem is that the spiral dynamic progressions happen naturally and for most people it's messy, not a clear progression. Leo likes to tell you that you have to bang girls and do stage orange properly because that's how he did things. His path does not have to be yours. I believe that you're being too objective about spiral dynamics and doing things in the right order. I think you would be better served by truly finding out what you really want. I also think that your end goal will come a lot easier and be a lot more fulfilling if you go about seeking your green relationship now. 

The things you need to do to get that are going to be much different. A confident woman isn't going to care if you're a virgin, in fact that can be a huge turn on to some girls.  But the neediness is a problem no matter what approach you choose. 

The truth is you want a girl you feel somewhat safe with. She wants the same with you. If you go out with the intention of screwing a girl to fix yourself, because this is what you NEED, you either won't find it or you will and you will both coming out empty after the experience. Why not just masturbate? Same outcome. 

You really need to find some way to fix the neediness part. Try this. Stop focusing on what you do not have. Stop using the word needy. Even in thought. What do you really enjoy doing? What are your strengths? Pour all of your passion and desire for attracting a girl into a different goal, work, hobby, sport, fitness? if you can do that 100% and still lightly hold your desire to get a girl, she'll come to you. 

 

 

[kamill]

observe yourself when your approaching awerness alone is curative

[Rachityczny]

Okay. I am drunk right now. Will report you tomorrow 

[LoNatural]

Damm I feel you bro! I also went to the mall with the intention of approaching end ended up doing nothing. ahh good old days. One tip: join a local pickup lair and meet up with some local puas. that'll make it really easy to approach. The problem isn't approaching, if it really worked like that everybody would be doing it. 

The most important thing is SMV (looks, money & status)

 

[Rachityczny]

@LoNatural

Local pickup community would be awesome! But I still believe SMV isn't worth that much - it helps at the beginning, but its value diminishes quickly. 

 

Two days ago I did go to another mall to cold approach. It was still really bad. I approached just one girl, and was so fixated on her that I didn't see her boyfriend that was walking a little further than her. I asked "Hey, where are you going?" She hid behind her man and, I repeated the same question to both of them, he said "nowhere" and I left. I was still happy. It was one of the first steps, which is important. I spent an hour in this mall, which adds with previous attempt to 1h 20min. It is 1h 40min short of the goal. At least I did a lot of theory- 4,5 hours. 

I see small differences in my behavior and thoughts- a little more into being good with girls. 

[flowboy]

Awesome! Having a direct experience that nothing bad happens to you if your approach isn't received well, is a great step!