Ultimate vision/goal changing

[B_Naz]

I was going through my old vision and goals and realized that it has changed drastically

Some changes include

• Not wanting to meditate for long hours
• Not anting to be social
• Be heavily focused on technology, previously I wanted to detach from technology
• Play more games
• Career passion changed from making programs for people to making programs for the sake of it
• Not really wanting to self-actualized anymore - since I want to focus on career/entertainment

I think I might just gone a step back in my life. Think I'm being more addicted to games and focused a lot on my studies and my career goals. But I think the reason I'm not self-actualizied is because I'm not exactly sad in my life at the moment, everything seems to be going fine but I'm just no longer interested in bettering myself. However this is where the dilemia for me occurs because as I did self-actualizing work, I did it for the sake of it, not to benefit anything but now, I feel like I've gained a lot of knowledge and understanding of my life. I feel detached from myself, and just want to go with the flow of life

or am I just being lazy?

[Deepconcepts]

@B_Naz there comes a point where you're capable of distinguishing the voice of doubt from constructive criticism. 

I believe that you can find the right answers eventually on your own, for the existential questions at least. As long as your asking the right ones. 

Edited March 17, 2019 by Deepconcepts

[B_Naz]

@Deepconcepts

The Truth is always within us of course, but I don't want to search for it. I don't want to ask the existential questions because ultimately, I don't care anymore.

I've asked them before, and certain insights comes out of it but so what?

[Deepconcepts]

“In practice, thousands of little women in their villages have lived more gentle, more equable and more constant lives than [Cicero].” - michel de montaigne.

You don't need to follow any of these things to live a grand life, if you want to follow your heart then do so. Just realize the outcomes will be different, certainly living in blissful ignorance is different than conceptualizing our self deceptions for personal development.

You don't need to want to meditate, you meditate because you know when you need to. If you center yourself you'll have answers to the questions like the one you just asked. 

To be clear too, there is a major distinction between understanding and innerderstanding.

I have nothing else to say besides i wish you the best.

Edited March 19, 2019 by Deepconcepts

[B_Naz]

@Deepconcepts Thank you for your kind words; this is one phase in my life where I don't feel grounded. I will recover and carry on

[JohnnyBravo]

@B_Naz

I sense youre gotten some accurate insight here actually! No im not being scarcastic or tricky.

First off, this is only a phase and its ok.

All thats going on is you've done sufficient work on yourself that you reach a stage where you think, "Ok, now what? I feel good enough with who I am. Whats so bad about life?"

You may even secretly think what the purpose is of even doing all of this stuff. You might secretly beat yourself up for thinking why you needed to do so much stuff to get to terms with yourself.

Its a bit of a feeling of "Really? Thats it?" Its refreshing but at the same time slightly disappointing. You realise there is nothing to achieve in this life and there never was!

So no, youre no lazy or doing the wrong thing. Youve just taken a big step but it doesnt feel like youve taken a big step.

After a few weeks or months, youll suddenly have the desire to get back to this work. The difference will be (might be) you are no longer doing this stuff for yourself, but for yourself and for the world around you to benefit you.

If you examine the morale code by Taekwondo, you will see that the reason they train is not to make themselves feel better or be stronger for themselves; they do it to promote a world of peace and justice.

[B_Naz]

@JohnnyBravo You've understood my problem exactly lol

15 minutes ago, JohnnyBravo said:

All thats going on is you've done sufficient work on yourself that you reach a stage where you think, "Ok, now what? I feel good enough with who I am. Whats so bad about life?"

This is pretty much me right now

16 minutes ago, JohnnyBravo said:

Its a bit of a feeling of "Really? Thats it?" Its refreshing but at the same time slightly disappointing. You realise there is nothing to achieve in this life and there never was!

I've tried even going back to old stuff, like this vision description I made a while ago. I knew that there was nothing to achieve, and I did this work for the sake of it but I think the disappointment got to me when there was really nothing to achieve here but to better myself

21 minutes ago, JohnnyBravo said:

 Youve just taken a big step but it doesnt feel like youve taken a big step.

One step back, two step forwards in my view now

22 minutes ago, JohnnyBravo said:

After a few weeks or months, youll suddenly have the desire to get back to this work. The difference will be (might be) you are no longer doing this stuff for yourself, but for yourself and for the world around you to benefit you.

My desire is starting to slowly come up, so it's why I said this is probably a phase. I'm still pretty down but I'm being mindful of what I'm feeling

The main insight I got is that I'm just in a phase, and I need to burn/purge the negative stuff