When I meditate I suffer beyond words, why is this happening?

[Joseph Maynor]

1 minute ago, Aaron p said:

Sit, do the preparatory exercises for kryia for 5-10 mins, then do focus on bindu for 5 minutes, stretch my legs for 2 minutes, self enquiry for 30 mins then vepaasana for 10

I think your practice is way too neurotic. I would just sit and do Do Nothing Meditation only for 30 days straight.  1 hour per day.

 

Edited March 16, 2019 by Joseph Maynor

[Aaron p]

10 hours ago, Joseph Maynor said:

I think your practice is way too neurotic. I would just sit and do Do Nothing Meditation only for 30 days straight.  1 hour per day.

 

10 hours ago, Joseph Maynor said:

 

Thanks man I'm gonna do that today

[Nahm]

@Aaron p There’s no suffering in thoughts. The suffering is from not being present, now. Happiness is not experienced via a thought about the past or future. Happiness is now.  The thoughts you’re avoiding are of the past. The “suffering” is just sensations,  you’re afraid of feeling. The sensations come and go, you are the awareness, which does not come and go. Nothing that comes and goes can really hurt you. If you keep this idea of fearing the thoughts of the past, you keep yourself in the state of fear. Meditation should not be suffering. No longer try to meditate when it feels to you like suffering. Why does it seem like the suffering is of the thoughts?...

Essentially, because you do not understand the emotions are just arising sensations.  The unrest of emotion fuels the unrest in thinking. The unrest of overthinking is distraction & confusion regarding the emotions (sensations). So by not taking the time to write out what you’re feeling, you’re keeping yourself on the glass hamster wheel of confusion. You keep yourself in the dark. 

Write down how you’re feeling, freely, openly, honestly. Let it out on paper. Your mind becomes more at ease the more emotions are seen on paper, because they will be more and more understood. What is understood, is never a “problem”, and can not be “feared”.

Pen & paper, express. Empty yourself to the paper. 

Then go back to meditation. You’ll love it. 

[Adam M]

Did you expect to hit the gym without being sore the next day?

[Aaron p]

19 hours ago, Nahm said:

@Aaron p There’s no suffering in thoughts. The suffering is from not being present, now. Happiness is not experienced via a thought about the past or future. Happiness is now.  The thoughts you’re avoiding are of the past. The “suffering” is just sensations,  you’re afraid of feeling. The sensations come and go, you are the awareness, which does not come and go. Nothing that comes and goes can really hurt you. If you keep this idea of fearing the thoughts of the past, you keep yourself in the state of fear. Meditation should not be suffering. No longer try to meditate when it feels to you like suffering. Why does it seem like the suffering is of the thoughts?...

Essentially, because you do not understand the emotions are just arising sensations.  The unrest of emotion fuels the unrest in thinking. The unrest of overthinking is distraction & confusion regarding the emotions (sensations). So by not taking the time to write out what you’re feeling, you’re keeping yourself on the glass hamster wheel of confusion. You keep yourself in the dark. 

Write down how you’re feeling, freely, openly, honestly. Let it out on paper. Your mind becomes more at ease the more emotions are seen on paper, because they will be more and more understood. What is understood, is never a “problem”, and can not be “feared”.

Pen & paper, express. Empty yourself to the paper. 

Then go back to meditation. You’ll love it. 

On 3/16/2019 at 10:53 PM, Joseph Maynor said:

 

@Nahm hmm I will try this, thank you ?

[thesmileyone]

If meditation makes you suffer there is NO CHANCE you are ready for Kriya Yoga. It will bring up memories/problems/attachments/fears/anxieties out of your subconscious into your clear and present conscious awareness and you if basic meditation makes you suffer so badly, you won't be able to handle them. That's how psychosis happens, in the same way some people take LSD and cannot handle the experience or the after effects.

I have done thousands of hours of meditation and I am still not sure I would be ready for something like bufo 5meo or ahayusaca. Hell I wasn't even ready for ego death last night naturally!

Edited March 18, 2019 by thesmileyone

[Aaron p]

17 hours ago, Adam M said:

Did you expect to hit the gym without being sore the next day?

@Adam M I feel like my being is going through a shredder...and I'm just concerned that it's not the meditation and that I'm actually just plain old loosing my mind. I have a feeling it's both

[Aaron p]

4 hours ago, thesmileyone said:

If meditation makes you suffer there is NO CHANCE you are ready for Kriya Yoga. It will bring up memories/problems/attachments/fears/anxieties out of your subconscious into your clear and present conscious awareness and you if basic meditation makes you suffer so badly, you won't be able to handle them. That's how psychosis happens, in the same way some people take LSD and cannot handle the experience or the after effects.

I have done thousands of hours of meditation and I am still not sure I would be ready for something like bufo 5meo or ahayusaca. Hell I wasn't even ready for ego death last night naturally!

@thesmileyone did you experience ego death just last night mate?

[Shin]

7 minutes ago, Aaron p said:

@Adam M I feel like my being is going through a shredder...and I'm just concerned that it's not the meditation and that I'm actually just plain old loosing my mind. I have a feeling it's both

It's not just meditation for sure,

You're just realizing slowly thar your all life is a joke.

The ego doesn't like joke though, not when it means he's a fraud.

[abrakamowse]

11 hours ago, Aaron p said:

@Adam M I feel like my being is going through a shredder...and I'm just concerned that it's not the meditation and that I'm actually just plain old loosing my mind. I have a feeling it's both

You are not losing your mind, because your mind is not "yours". Meditation what it is supposed to do is to make you see that thoughts, mind, etc... are not you. That you are bigger than that.

Observe an object. Think about it, you will notice thoughts that say "I like it, I don't like it, is blue, is boring, is yellow, it's nice... etc"

All those are concepts created by the mind.

Look at the object again, this time try to not pay attention to your thoughts. Observe the object as it is. Look at its texture, don't think is good or bad, or if you like it or not. Just observe it, touch it, feel if it is soft or rough...

That which observes without judging (this is good or bad) is awareness...

 

Did you notice that at some point?

[thesmileyone]

On 18/03/2019 at 0:26 PM, Aaron p said:

@thesmileyone did you experience ego death just last night mate?

I have had a few of them whilst going through the jhanas as well as "cosmic consciousness" or whatever label they call them, where everything merges, over the years, the one the other night was epic and too much to handle right now.

[Aaron p]

On 3/18/2019 at 11:38 PM, abrakamowse said:

You are not losing your mind, because your mind is not "yours". Meditation what it is supposed to do is to make you see that thoughts, mind, etc... are not you. That you are bigger than that.

Observe an object. Think about it, you will notice thoughts that say "I like it, I don't like it, is blue, is boring, is yellow, it's nice... etc"

All those are concepts created by the mind.

Look at the object again, this time try to not pay attention to your thoughts. Observe the object as it is. Look at its texture, don't think is good or bad, or if you like it or not. Just observe it, touch it, feel if it is soft or rough...

That which observes without judging (this is good or bad) is awareness...

 

Did you notice that at some point?

On 3/18/2019 at 7:33 AM, thesmileyone said:

 

@thesmileyone 

 

@abrakamowse for me it was confusing trying to figure out the difference between awareness and thoughts. Now I can grasp that thoughts happen within awareness. I'm slowly getting there, I'm experiencing a lot of suffering to which I think is a good sign. I'm going to start ramping up the kryia yoga slowly, then start implementing retreats and then start doing phyc's again

[Aaron p]

On 3/19/2019 at 8:53 PM, thesmileyone said:

I have had a few of them whilst going through the jhanas as well as "cosmic consciousness" or whatever label they call them, where everything merges, over the years, the one the other night was epic and too much to handle right now.

@thesmileyone sounds good to me. I had an insight that consciousness growth is exponential. Meaning, the larger it gets, the faster it gets larger. Which is very exciting...it gets easier and I can't wait to have my first awakening experience...like full blown awakening experience sounds good to me like