When I meditate I suffer beyond words, why is this happening?

[Aaron p]

Anytime I do something to raise my consciousness I enter into tremendous suffering, so much suffering it's terrible. Ever since I started kryia yoga. But the thing is, I know kryia yoga is the way forward! I know it is, the universe has told me. But if I do anything to raise my consciousness, whether it be smoking cannabis or meditating, I feel myself move into a place of suffering. I'm quite confused because I don't want to give up meditation. I've already made a few posts about my new found suffering but my main question is, IS THIS MEANT TO BE HAPPENING?! When I stop meditating I go back to normal with no suffering then when I start meditating again the suffering comes back. I know enlightenment is worth every penny of it but Its quite bad

[FoxFoxFox]

What is the nature of your suffering? 

[ajasatya]

@Aaron p you don't suffer only during meditation. you're suffering all the time, but mundane activities keep you distracted/numb from emotional pain.

meditation just allows you to notice the suffering that's always been with you. what have you done? do you have childhood trauma? feel free to send me a pm if you want.

[Aaron p]

17 minutes ago, FoxFoxFox said:

What is the nature of your suffering? 

Phycological. I stop being able to function. Paralysing thoughts, I feel like I'm mentally trapped and that I'm useless. It's not strong emotionally, just the thoughts. I had to phone sick into work last week because of it.

You know how if someone were to die in your family, you would just feel so helpless and deflated and you just wander completely pointlessly and everything feels crap...yeah, it feels exactly like that 

Edited March 16, 2019 by Aaron p

[thesmileyone]

Quote

I know kryia yoga is the way forward!

How? Maybe it is but you aren't ready for it? Or maybe it is not.

[FoxFoxFox]

@Aaron p Either there is an underlying cause for it, like repressed memories of trauma etc or not. Either case you should probably seek out a therapist. But, to tell you the truth, you don't need to go down this path for enlightenment. Although it would be very difficult to convince you why. The advice, just be, while the only real advice, will probably annoy you more than be of any help.

I like this quote: "All suffering, all fear is illusion. Surrender them to God."

On second thought, i don't feel that this is good advice. In your shoes, i would look into the nature of my suffering and try and find the inner cause for it. Then address that to the best of my abilities. 

Edited March 16, 2019 by FoxFoxFox

[Jkris]

@Aaron p Try to be concious mindful of the suffering. Be concious of it. Don't try to escape from it. It will disappear. 

[abrakamowse]

3 minutes ago, Jkris said:

@Aaron p Try to be concious mindful of the suffering. Be concious of it. Don't try to escape from it. It will disappear. 

This ?

[cetus]

13 minutes ago, ajasatya said:

you don't suffer only during meditation. you're suffering all the time, but mundane activities keep you distracted/numb from emotional pain.

meditation just allows you to notice the suffering that's always been with you

@ajasatya Exactly.

[zambize]

I agree with what others have posted, your rise in conciousness has probably made you even more aware of the emotional pain you may have been repressing.  Take it as a good sign that you've been heading in the right direction.  But now you've got all this emotional pain to deal with.  If self inquiry is a little bit extreme in terms of discomfort, maybe just seek to quiet down your life in general.  Maybe where you once played video games or browsed the forums, you could replace this with mellow music from your favorite artist.  You could slowly seek to slow down your life and limit the amount of distractions your ego has and approach this emotional pain in a more manageable way.  Manageability is key, if whatever you are doing right now doesnt feel manageable for the rest of your life, you can slow it down and take it at your own pace

Edited March 16, 2019 by zambize

[Shin]

Yes it's totally normal.
Allow yourself to make some pause if it's too extreme though, don't force it.

Now don't use the "make some pause" as an excuse to (almost) never meditate again though.
On the other side of the suffering there is great peace, to such an extent that you won't even be able to worry about anything at some point

[SgtPepper]

Go through the suffering, you will find peace on the other side.

[Charlotte]

[tenta]

" the universe has told me."

This doesn't mean anything.

But keep going, the suffering is caused by your monkey mind.

[Aaron p]

1 hour ago, Charlotte said:

5 hours ago, FoxFoxFox said:

 

So the degree to which I suffer will be the degree to which my consciousness is raised

[Shin]

7 minutes ago, Aaron p said:

So the degree to which I suffer will be the degree to which my consciousness is raised

Not necessarily,

But don't be suprised if it does.

[Aaron p]

Yo everyone in this chat, know that God is using you guys mightily. I definitely think I would have quit by now if it weren't for your help and guidance. You guys are brill

[Joseph Maynor]

Describe your meditation practice.

Edited March 16, 2019 by Joseph Maynor

[Shin]

1 hour ago, Aaron p said:

Yo everyone in this chat, know that God is using you guys mightily. I definitely think I would have quit by now if it weren't for your help and guidance. You guys are brill

 

[Aaron p]

25 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:

Describe your meditation practice.

Sit, do the preparatory exercises for kryia for 5-10 mins, then do focus on bindu for 5 minutes, stretch my legs for 2 minutes, self enquiry for 30 mins then vepaasana for 10