<3

[Shin]

When your gf starts to say she's going to his ant Esmeralda,

This is her point of no return,

Drop the boots and grab her pants when that happens

?

 

[zambize]

3 minutes ago, Shin said:

When your gf starts to say she's going to his ant Esmeralda,

This is her point of no return,

Drop the boots and grab her pants when that happens

?

 

Haha that's my ex in my profile pic if that's who you're talking about, we are still very close platonically  <<her33

[Shin]

16 minutes ago, zambize said:

Haha that's my ex in my profile pic if that's who you're talking about, we are still very close platonically  <<her33

 

Are you interested by a 29 years old British women, that is hot, nice, funny and pretty conscious ?

I sell it back for 25 goats, since its expiration date is soon (30).

Let me know if you're interested ?

 

[zambize]

3 minutes ago, Shin said:

 

Are you interested by a 29 years old British women, that is hot, nice, funny and pretty conscious ?

I sell it back for 25 goats, since its expiration date is soon (30).

Let me know if you're interested ?

 

I'll just take three goats honestly and hope one of them can cook

[Shin]

Smart guy.

Too many goats is a problem,

And one woman is already a disaster.

(Especially this one)

?

Edited March 19, 2019 by Shin

[zambize]

One mistake I make sometimes is putting too much pressure on someone's ego.  I need to really be aware of how receptive I think that person is going to what I have to say.  Sometimes I say stuff which I of course genuinely believe, but did I really expect them to take my side or see my POV?  Or did I just forget to think about that at all?  It would rock them a bit too much to the core if they were to accept some of my criticisms, especially right off the bat.  I don't always have to take a half court shot over my head, there are often layups and easy plays.  I also could really be utilizing the idea of giving smaller digestible criticisms to open them up and get them in the habit of being open to my ideas and the conversation, and then go for more three point shots and half courts shot as we build a relationship of trust.  I also need to be more aware of the POV's already being held in an argument from all parties.  If too many people are disagreeing with one person, they may very well feel attacked and close up.  I can't have the other person lose trust in me that I am genuinely trying to help them, it's easy to lose this when you are perceived as being a part of a mob against them

Edited March 20, 2019 by zambize

[Zigzag Idiot]

On 3/18/2019 at 4:18 PM, zambize said:

Fucking christ took me 20 minutes to find this song from a thread a long time ago, absolutely worth 

 

 

This guy has to be in 3 Centered Knowing. Amazing,,,

I think maybe he is a Mercury Saturn.

He's also manifesting from his Kings. King of hearts/emotion, Clubs/instincts, diamonds/thinking, spades/moving to be in such a flow. The playing cards amount to another typology based on the bodies 4 'centers' which can be added to the personality and essence/endocrine typology. For more nuance.  The instinctive and moving centers are combined to create the belly center. Four becoming three.  The basis for Gurdjieff calling humans 3 brained beings. 

[zambize]

8 minutes ago, Zigzag Idiot said:

This guy has to be in 3 Centered Knowing. Amazing,,,

I think maybe he is a Mercury Saturn.

He's also manifesting from his Kings. King of hearts/emotion, Clubs/instincts, diamonds/thinking, spades/moving to be in such a flow. The playing cards amount to another typology based on the bodies 4 'centers' which can be added to the personality and essence/endocrine typology. For more nuance.  The instinctive and moving centers are combined to create the belly center. Four becoming three.  The basis for Gurdjieff calling humans 3 brained beings. 

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

You also know it, not thru conceptual knowledge but by BEING it. Through emotional energy put into dance. This is going to be a better grounding through the body than the average person gets. Better grounding opens up higher mind. Intuitive mind. Emotional Intellegence.

[zambize]

@Zigzag Idiot Thank you for the dumbed down version haha, I appreciate it

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyways, I want to quick finish my late night analytical thinking of my day

My goals were

I want to continue to focus on equanimity and emotional sensitivity throughout the day.

I want to explore my own femininity deeply, and make sure I am not repressing any of that as I did through a lot of my life.

I want to stop munching on junk food when I don't want it.  Sometimes I find myself eating to eat, or drinking to drink, and then regretting later.

I want stop overusing intellectualism,  even though it might be one of my greatest strength, it's just a tool.  Those tools have specific advantages and disadvantages, and while it's important to know my strengths and utilize them, it's also important to not get into the habit of relying on that tool too much.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I would say I was aware of my emotional body just about all day.  I've been taking the approach for probably the last week that I want all the suffering that I am aware of or repressing to come out, ALL OF IT.  I want to reduce my suffering to zero, so it's important of me to take inventory of my suffering.  It's important for me to ask myself, where is all of my suffering, and make sure I don't miss any because if I do, it's going to stick around.  My foot has the gas pedal all the way down throughout the day in terms of opening to whatever enters my awareness.  Anxiety come sit down and be my guest, let me give you a kiss.   Stay a while.  This mindset of starting the day off with a prayer/setting of intention that I want to feel all of my suffering right here right now has really helped me not be so scared of more intense emotional states. I've gotten quite good at operating well in deeply anxious states.  Then when those deeply anxious states subside, and I have a hard time finding any suffering at all, I feel like I just took off thousand pound ankle weights, feels like nothing can stop me then.  Hopefully tomorrow I have some really intense episodes of anxiety, a panic attack could be helpful but I haven't had one in years, so I can get more practice opening up to intense emotions for long periods of time and being a tree through them.  I'm really not intimidated by my emotions like I used to be.  This is going well in my opinion, I'm not sure what I could do better here which is maybe good maybe bad.  Seems unnecessary to purposely induce really uncomfortable states to practice equanimity, so I think I will just keep doing my best at making sure I am doing my best at being a good host to all the emotions/perceptions/thoughts that come into my awareness.

I did end up being overly intellectual in my opinion, but not as much as typically.  I gave the correct arguments that I could defend really well and believed in, but lacked the awareness of the direction the conversation was going.  The person ended up closing up and accepted none or little of my advice/criticisms. That's on me largely.  I have techniques to help defensive egos open up and be self-reflective that I got lost in the moment and didn't use.  This wastes my time and the time of the person I'm trying to help.  Maybe me making a journal entry and articulating a lot of the things I do into words would help cement those things in my memory more, so when the situations come up where they would be handy, I am more likely to get my little notification from my subconscious reminding me how to handle that situation.  We will see if this becomes a problem first I think.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've noticed that my body language is becoming more and more expressive, when I talk about any anxiety I might be feeling or negative feelings my hand tends to cover up my stomach and belly button where those emotions are perceived in my emotional body.  When talking about something from my own direct experience, my hand spreads out across my heart.  When I die to a midget zombie in minecraft or am surprised in general, I guess I open my mouth in awe now, I think I like that  I want to use every tool I have, and that includes every part of my body to help articulate myself, my emotional state, my intentions, my thoughts etc.  

Today was a good day 

[Shin]

You're a good man,

If you had a hole instead of a ruler,

I'll dig into it with both hand.

Edited March 20, 2019 by Shin

[zambize]

1 hour ago, Shin said:

You're a good man,

If you had a hole instead of a ruler,

I'll dig into it with both hand.

I have a hole and a ruler, I'm literally a double threat.  Not to mention what my mouth can do 

[Shin]

3 minutes ago, zambize said:

I have a hole and a ruler, I'm literally a double threat.  Not to mention what my mouth can do 

I like those holes too, but generally with natural hills on the other top side of them.

I like hills, it's the best 

Edited March 20, 2019 by Shin

[zambize]

I'm thinking that these goals really resonate with me right now and with what I want to do emotionally and I want to make sure that I am addressing them in a way that allows me to turn them into a habit as best as I can.  Making sure that the problem/goal is sustainability resolved will take time.  I also want to have it really cemented in my mind what I am trying to work, and be able to plan longer term strategies in tackling my goals.  That's why I am going to make a commitment to the same four goals that I have which came from a previous post on maximizing personal development.

This will be day 2/66.  There was some research behind sixty six being a good number of days before habits really begin to cement, and it seems an appropriate amount of time for these goals.  I will also be doing other productive stuff like working out, but I won't be holding myself as strictly to that so I have some flexibility to work with.

---------------------------------

My goals are currently:

I want to continue to focus on equanimity and emotional sensitivity throughout the day.

I want to explore my own femininity deeply, and make sure I am not repressing any of that as I did through a lot of my life.

I want to stop munching on junk food when I don't want it.  Sometimes I find myself eating to eat, or drinking to drink, and then regretting later.

I want stop overusing intellectualism,  even though it might be one of my greatest strength, it's just a tool.  Those tools have specific advantages and disadvantages, and while it's important to know my strengths and utilize them, it's also important to not get into the habit of relying on that tool too much.

-------------------------------

[zambize]

@Shin

Took forever but I have actualized the diamonds into my life, this is personal development

 

[Shin]

1 minute ago, zambize said:

@Shin

Took forever but I have actualized the diamonds into my life, this is personal development

 

 

Almost 5000 trophies on Brawl Stars 

[zambize]

6 minutes ago, Shin said:

 

Almost 5000 trophies on Brawl Stars 

We are so developed

[Shin]

8 minutes ago, zambize said:

We are so developed

 

 

 

Actually, that's something I pondered a lot.

I mean, not doing something you like because it's considered low consciousness, IS low consciousness.

Now the question of overdoing it and distracting yourself with it is another thing (especially if you are addicted) of course.

Edited March 20, 2019 by Shin

[zambize]

8 minutes ago, Shin said:

 

 

 

Actually, that's something I pondered a lot.

I mean, not doing something you like because it's considered low consciousness, IS low consciousness.

Now the question of overdoing it and distracting yourself with it is another thing (especially if you are addicted) of course.

Yeah that's what I was thinking.  Doing something simple and stupid that I enjoy is a good counter balance to how I over-analyze things.  On my list of low conciousness shit, this is the best creative outlet, and I listen to Lofi hip hop while play, so it's actually quite meditative mining me some pixels

[Zigzag Idiot]

10 hours ago, zambize said:

My goals are currently:

I want to continue to focus on equanimity and emotional sensitivity throughout the day.

I want to explore my own femininity deeply, and make sure I am not repressing any of that as I did through a lot of my life.

This movie had a lot of extreme currents in relation to issues of femininity. It might make a good frame of reference for discussion. Have you ever watched it?