Tell me about your suffering...

[Aaron p]

I'm conducting a little experiment regarding suffering...I want to study how the ego reacts to spiritual practises. I need to know what I should expect. 

Tell me about what kind of ego backlashes you have experienced and what spiritual practices you were doing that caused them (and for how long you had been practising). Because, my fear is that I'm not experienceing an ego backlash, and that I'm actually doing damage...but I feel like I need to research what kind of suffering happens so that I can better judge my own experiences. Talk about how you felt and if it felt real. Any suffering, especially suffering that led to a spiritual awakening. Thanks

[theking00]

When I go to nature  my suffering goes away , just saying . 

Edited March 15, 2019 by theking00

[Forestluv]

@Aaron p To me it sounds like an odd storyline.

I think it’s most beneficial to do the practices, observe and share one’s own actual direct experience and perhaps unpack it.

[Breathe]

I agree with @Serotoninluv. Understand your own direct experience. Dive right in, post questions when you feel like you've hit a snag somewhere.

[Highest]

I was on the dark night of the soul and the ego fucking me up for about 5-6 months when I was 18. It was total suffering, depression, withdrawal from human beings etc. But I continued and never gave up on what knew and felt was the truth. And now 7 years later I'm here were for me I ought to be. 

[Tistepiste]

Seems to me that you're still very confused and have a lot of repressed emotions you think you've handled

[Shadowraix]

49 minutes ago, Tistepiste said:

Seems to me that you're still very confused and have a lot of repressed emotions you think you've handled

This is a tough one.

I've been able to clear through quite a bit of trauma but I can definitely feel some repressed shit in the back of my being. Took me a bit to learn that it was there because of my huge progression in other areas. Not sure how to solve that though.

[Highest]

@Tistepiste

55 minutes ago, Tistepiste said:

Seems to me that you're still very confused and have a lot of repressed emotions you think you've handled

If you are pointing to me, your assumptions are grounded on Nothing, are wrong and means nothing to me. I know my direct experience and emotions, you don't. It's that simple. The same is the case with aaron p. 

[Tistepiste]

@Highest I wasn't talking about you  Why do you think I was referring to you? 

I have nothing against you and I love your input on this forum

Edited March 15, 2019 by Tistepiste

[Shadowraix]

8 minutes ago, Highest said:

If you are pointing to me, your assumptions are grounded on Nothing, are wrong and means nothing to me. I know my direct experience and emotions, you don't. It's that simple. The same is the case with aaron p. 

Interesting how quick you are to defend yourself and state how irrelevant the opinions of others are of you.

You may know your direct experience and emotions, but it is quite easy to deceive yourself. This is why Leo calls the mind a weasel. 

I've begun countering this with instead of trying to defend myself with every claim I also try and see how such claims could potentially be true and I am running away from it. Has helped me catch a few deceptions.

[Highest]

2 minutes ago, Tistepiste said:

@Highest I wasn't talking about you  Why do you think I was referring to you? 

I have nothing against you and I love your input on this forum

Then I'm sorry, my bad and mistake.

Tnx btw?

[Tistepiste]

@Shadowraix

4 minutes ago, Shadowraix said:

Interesting how quick you are to defend yourself and state how irrelevant the opinions of others are of you.

You may know your direct experience and emotions, but it is quite easy to deceive yourself. This is why Leo calls the mind a weasel. 

I've begun countering this with instead of trying to defend myself with every claim I also try and see how such claims could potentially be true and I am running away from it. Has helped me catch a few deceptions.

 

Thank you for this reply. Maybe it's a natural defense mechanism kicking in. I loved the openness and honesty of your initial reply though.

I am also still struggling with repressed emotions. I try to confront them fully when in meditation.
The way I know that they are repressed is that they are still creeping up once in a while and I try to flee from them.

It's easier to flee than to face it most of the time, but it's not sustainable and not healthy in the long run.
They will catch up with you eventually. Sooner or later. Better be done with them when you can

 

Edited March 15, 2019 by Tistepiste

[Highest]

@ShadowraixI was simply genuine. There is no real I to defend itself. But I just get triggered by harsh judgement and feel I have to tell the actual case of the matter no matter who it is who is being judged. 

But you are completely right? I will just ignore stuff like this and don't respond from now on

[Forestluv]

@Highest

There have been a few times that someone posted right after me and the post could apply to the OP or me. If it doesn’t include an @Serotoninluv, I just assume it’s directed at the OP. 

[Highest]

@Serotoninluv Right ?

[Tistepiste]

@Highest "harsh judgement" is just a label you give to it. As you know now it wasn't directed to you, but I would like to elaborate on that.

Saying someone might have some repressed emotions isn't harsh judgement, it's a invitation for the person to look deeper into what's causing this instead of just labelling it as "side effects of the spiritual path". Everything has its root. You just have to find the root and pull it out. But if you don't even realize there's a root at all, the branches will just keep on growing.

[Shadowraix]

2 hours ago, Highest said:

@ShadowraixI was simply genuine. There is no real I to defend itself. But I just get triggered by harsh judgement and feel I have to tell the actual case of the matter no matter who it is who is being judged. 

But you are completely right? I will just ignore stuff like this and don't respond from now on

The ego likes to hide behind nonduality, pretend it doesn't exist and keep doing its work. Not saying it applies to you but thought it might be a good insight. 

@Tistepiste godspeed. ? You will be growing till the end. So embrace every part of the journey. 

[Highest]

3 hours ago, Tistepiste said:

@Highest "harsh judgement" is just a label you give to it. As you know now it wasn't directed to you, but I would like to elaborate on that.

Saying someone might have some repressed emotions isn't harsh judgement, it's a invitation for the person to look deeper into what's causing this instead of just labelling it as "side effects of the spiritual path". Everything has its root. You just have to find the root and pull it out. But if you don't even realize there's a root at all, the branches will just keep on growing.

You are right. My mistake again. ?

Life is short, live it well. That's what my father told me once

[Tistepiste]

@Highest Not your mistake! Much love. Wise father you have! Although sometimes that's easier said than done! 

[Highest]

@Tistepiste Haha that is true. 

Much love back❤️ I actually like you, you are a good being and I can feel it.