Social anxiety solved

[Eric Tarpall]

If people make you nervous that's because you're trying to impress them. Impressing people is a social thing. So basically you're too social. You care too much about what other people think and feel. The solution is to start caring more about your own thoughts and feelings. Stop trying to impress people. And stop trying to make people happy.

[BjarkeT]

I don't have social anxiety because i try to impress people in fact i don't try to impress people but I am afraid of people because of past bad experiences. The real key to solve social anxiety is to face your fears and fully feel it a 100 times until you feel comfortable with it.

Its true that you can have social anxiety for a lot of other reasons but in my case it isn't because of trying to impress people but you can be right as a case for other people.

Edited March 14, 2019 by BjarkeT

[Shadowraix]

9 minutes ago, BjarkeT said:

The real key to solve social anxiety is to face your fears and fully feel it a 100 times until you feel comfortable with it.

Comfort is very interesting. I had a slump freshman year of high school and since being sad was my default state, I was scared of when I felt genuinely happy it was very uncomfortable to be happy.

[improvementedward]

3 hours ago, BjarkeT said:

The real key to solve social anxiety is to face your fears and fully feel it a 100 times until you feel comfortable with it.

2

I 100% agree with this. It's one thing to recognize that you have social anxiety because you care too much about what other people think, and to see that it's not a successful mindset. It's a completely different thing to actually internalize new beliefs around social anxiety, and the only way to solve that is to get the reps in.

[GromHellScream]

For me the key was realizing that we are all insane. And I wasn't about to allow myself to feel insecure from about a crazy persons thought.

[Shadowraix]

24 minutes ago, GromHellScream said:

For me the key was realizing that we are all insane. And I wasn't about to allow myself to feel insecure from about a crazy persons thought.

Interesting outlook when all you've done is played a label game. That won't hold up for long when all your labels come crashing down.

[Good-boy]

On 14/03/2019 at 2:36 PM, Eric Tarpall said:

If people make you nervous that's because you're trying to impress them. Impressing people is a social thing. So basically you're too social. You care too much about what other people think and feel. The solution is to start caring more about your own thoughts and feelings. Stop trying to impress people. And stop trying to make people happy.

Good job.. now solve the biggest mystery of reality. ?

[Commodent]

I would say the key to solve social anxiety is not to spend more time being social but less, and that includes social media like this forum. Lack of solitude can be incredibly anxiety-inducing. Also, facing it "head on" can very quickly exasperate the problem, because you essentially end up re-traumatizing yourself. Another thing, stop trying to "solve" your emotions, you're not getting anywhere. By overfocusing on the problem you're actually making it worse, as by focusing on it you strengthen its neural pathways which in turn makes the anxiety etc. more accessible. So you can quite literally think yourself into mental illness.

Spend some good time in solitude, be kind to yourself and after some time you will find yourself having "forgotten" the social anxiety. It really doesn't occur to you to become socially anxious, because you've given it so little attention. Listen to your emotions and be more social when you feel ready, don't gamble with your mental health and force yourself to be social.

[Dumivid]

@Eric Tarpall

Emotional problems can be resolved only with emotional actions, NOT with logical.

Try to feel your body fully every time you feel a strong emotion like anxiety. Refocus your attention from your mind. There is no shortcut for this - awareness is the key.

However, guess what, awareness is nothing more than pure OBSERVATION without JUDGEMENT.
If you say, I SHOULD NOT feel this way, you already are going too far. If you try to cover one emotion with a reactive behavior, you already are going too far.

Just as an exercise:
When you are home aka “safe”, meditate for at least 15 minutes. After that, trigger yourself intentionally with something that evoke a very strong feeling. For example, look at a rich guy Instagram profile if you are resentful to “rich guys whose life is easy”, for a handsome model because “I think I am ugly and life is unfair”, or w/e provoke you strong feelings. The chances are, you have a lot of these triggers, just pick few.

Then observe.

What’s next you will find for yourself, spoiling it will make the exercise less precious because you will create an expectation. Try this at least 10-20 times with same trigger (depends how deep the belief is rooted into you), but do no force youself to do this 100 times a day. Consistenty, not volume is the key.