How do I actually change my life?

[Manjushri]

Time for some massive action. I hit rock bottom, and now am free to do anything. How do I start making changes STARTING now, this night, before I go to bed? I have the drive to change but no plan, no methods, no ideas. Let's go. I'm listening, thank you very much for helping.

[JohnnyBravo]

I feel you.

Change is actually one of the hardest things to do on the planet.

Talking about change as an idea VS actually changing is elusive.

This forum and Leos videos are all about talking about change. Credit to Leo he is aware of this blindspot.

The answers from other users are going to Flood in for you in the next 24 hours. You can cherry pick what you like.

Everyone will be quick to aggressivly shove a proposed solution down your throat.

May I ask, what drives this desire to change? What has happened? What has spurred this on? A girl? Parents? School? Pressure?.....we can help if we understand.

[Forestluv]

@Manjushri Write down three things you’ve been putting off. It can be things you “need” to do or things you want to do. Just things that keep appearing, yet you put off.

Now take a major action step for each item RIGHT NOW that will significantly orient and move you in that direction. All action happens right now. One cannot take action in the past or future. . . It may be an action that is uncomfortable. Perhaps making a phone call. You just have to do those three major action steps right now. It will start momentum and you will feel a sense of empowerment.

I can’t tell you how many times I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I’d get all pumped up about making big life changes yet never followed through. One thing I’ve learned is that if I’m not willing to make three major action steps right now, I’m not ready yet. 

[Manjushri]

@JohnnyBravo Hitting bottom made me want to change. I was suicidal for a few months, while building myself up to be functional. I've reached a point where I can implement changes, experiment, play with life. Nothing internal's preventing me anymore, since I lost myself and 'everything'.

I can now work on building a disciplined person. Or a person of any other virtue. I don't care what it is, really. I got a 'clean' slate and let's build!

I'd like a systematic approach to this.

I think the first step is to figure out what do I want out of life, no. Small picture, big picture, life purpose? Yeah? No?

I like the talking about change, but just to get the gear started, let's do something tangible.

I'm waiting for your thoughts, advices, etc. Let's sculpt my life, for the fun of it. I'm a 'clean' slate. Let's give Manjushri a few points of discipline, or exercise his generosity muscle!

When I hit bottom, my meditation teacher told me to start with making my bed. It's a cornerstone habit for me now. Building more and more. I couldn't get out of bed, couldn't walk, now I'm running miles.

 

[Manjushri]

@Serotoninluv

That's the type of advice I wanted to hear. My eyes are shutting, I'll follow through tomorrow and report with results. <3

 

[Sahil Pandit]

@Manjushri Start.

[Truth Addict]

What exactly is it that you really want to change?

[JohnnyBravo]

@Manjushri

There is already so much information out there about discipline or leading a virtuous life. Some of Leos older videos can help, or otherwise you can read some Tony Robbins or Jordan Petersons book 12 rules for life. Anything will do.

I actually get the sense you want direction and want to be able to trust yourself to feel the direction out.

If you are feeling really eager to "build a life" but dont know where to start, then there is only one book to read. You only need read first 100 pages or so to get the jist of it. This book took over a decade to write, and it was banned in several countries due to its ground breaking ideas. It is a dangerous book....It will change your life and test out or strengthen your relationship with God/chance.

**THE DICEMAN**

[Hellspeed]

When i want to start over i take a blanket go to the nearby forest each day for half day or more, after a week of doing this alone time and meditation, everything falls into place for me.

[Manjushri]

@Truth Addict I don't know. I'm not happy,

@Serotoninluv Had no time today! But I'm definitely doing this.

[DrewNows]

 

 

[hyruga]

You must must find your purpose in your life, set goals and then work towards them.

One of your goals should be to help others. When you help others, they smile and you will smile too.

Edited March 14, 2019 by hyruga

[Forestluv]

On 3/11/2019 at 9:50 PM, Manjushri said:

Time for some massive action. I hit rock bottom, and now am free to do anything. How do I start making changes STARTING now, this night, before I go to bed? 

 

On 3/11/2019 at 10:17 PM, Serotoninluv said:

@Manjushri Write down three things you’ve been putting off. It can be things you “need” to do or things you want to do. 

Now take a major action step for each item RIGHT NOW that will significantly orient and move you in that direction. All action happens right now. One cannot take action in the past or future. 

 

On 3/11/2019 at 10:27 PM, Manjushri said:

@Serotoninluv

That's the type of advice I wanted to hear.

I'll follow through tomorrow and report with results. 

 

2 hours ago, Manjushri said:

 

@Serotoninluv

Had no time today! But I'm definitely doing this.

Duuude. . . 

[Truth Addict]

4 hours ago, Manjushri said:

@Truth Addict I don't know. I'm not happy,

@Serotoninluv 

Then you clearly want happiness, which is equivalent to peace of mind.

Sorry to break it to you, but the reason you're not happy is because you want to change.

You haven't accepted reality as it is yet, therefore you are swimming against the stream, and therefore life seems hard to you, and change seems impossible, yet necessary.

You see the irony? You want to change something to become happy, while in fact what you need to do is to just stop thinking and stop worrying, and pause for a moment and try to enjoy whatever is.

The change you're seeking is the stopping of seeking.

The thing you want to change is the thing you need to stop trying to change, and rather try to accept it as it is.

Try to become more present, try to become more mindful of your breath, breathe deeper and from your mouth through the belly, meditate, try shamanic breathing, etc...

But most importantly, ask yourself: why am I not happy? And keep with this question until you hit rock bottom.

And then, after you become so at peace, happy and aligned with reality, any kind of change will become effortless.

Edited March 13, 2019 by Truth Addict

[Manjushri]

@Serotoninluv First thing I've been putting off HAHAHA! 

i did it today and had a really "good" day. thank you for the advice. it really gets you unstuck action-wise.

 

Edited March 13, 2019 by Manjushri

[Manjushri]

@Truth Addict I don't think that anything external will make me happy. But I want to change something. When I wrote "I'm not happy", I encapsulated my feelings of "nothing excites me, no passion, no purpose, not wanting to do anything, no "bright" future or any hope whatsoever in it, no goals, no motivation, no will to live".

your advice is a panacea though. thank you very much

[Truth Addict]

7 hours ago, Manjushri said:

@Truth Addict I don't think that anything external will make me happy. But I want to change something. When I wrote "I'm not happy", I encapsulated my feelings of "nothing excites me, no passion, no purpose, not wanting to do anything, no "bright" future or any hope whatsoever in it, no goals, no motivation, no will to live".

your advice is a panacea though. thank you very much

You're welcome my friend 

I think you are not happy because you think you need to change something.

Of course you can change anything you want, but happiness and change are somehow contradictory.

Consider that maybe this stage or state that you're in right now in your life is necessary for you right now, and that it's exactly what needs to happen, have faith that it's all for the best, try new things, maybe new food, or anything you enjoy or used to enjoy in the past, and try to be more mindful of it as you're experiencing with it.

Breathe deeper and be more mindful of your breathing, and forget about all the meaninglessness that you might think reality is, because meaninglessness is meaningless. 

I hope you find peace. Good luck!

[improvementedward]

I would encourage you to just do something. It doesn't have to be big and grand, it can be as simple as cleaning your room or taking the trash out. But by doing something productive and good for yourself, you can build up from there and adjust your tactics/strategy as time goes on.

 

I'll share a little story with you from my own life:

 

I spiraled into a depression my senior year of college, and spent the next two years or so just getting worse and worse. I gained and lost two jobs, lost a great relationship of over two years, and ended up moving back to my parent's house and just stagnating.

The depression hit its lowest point over these past holidays (2018). I was pretty hopeless and barely functional.

 

After reading about the positive experiences other extremely depressed people have had with psychedelics, I decided to try them for myself and bought and took some mushrooms alone in my room at my parents house one Friday night in January. I had a life-changing trip in so many ways, but there is one lesson in particular that I think is especially applicable here.

 

I went into my bathroom at one point during the trip. It was super messy and honestly kind of disgusting, and I wasn't happy with the way it was. I had a really simple insight at that moment - "If you don't like something in your life, just do something to change it." Now at this point, I hadn't done anything for months - I could barely get the motivation to get out of bed in the morning. But at that moment, I grabbed a roll of paper towels and some cleaner and just started cleaning my shower. Over the rest of the night, I finished cleaning my bathroom. Then I cleaned and organized my room over the weekend. Then I started noticing other areas of my life that I was unhappy with, and I started doing things to change those.

 

Now, about 2.5 months later I've joined a copywriting firm and have started doing some freelancing work. and have even built a website and launched my first iteration of a product for my first business. And it all started with grabbing some paper towels and cleaning my shower. So I would say that you should just do something. Don't worry if it's the exact right thing to do, but just pick something small that you're unhappy with, and take a little bit of action to improve your situation in that facet of your life right now!