Alex14

I’m getting her into Auto-rejection

21 posts in this topic

So, I’ve  been trying to get into a relationship with a girl (which is going very well), but I think she’s going into auto-rejection (https://www.girlschase.com/content/secrets-getting-girls-staying-out-auto-rejection) which basically means she is starting to think I’m too hard to get for her. Things is starting to go “cold”. I believe this started because I’ve been talking with another girl (which I don’t have any romantic intentions) but I really felt the jealousy in her. 

I need to do something and do it quickly, she is going on a trip in a couple days and I think that would just finish extinguishing the magic (there’s still magic left between us). (Also, I notice she’s using another boy to try to make me jealous, since she saw me with that other girl)

how do I keep advancing wit her but not damage my friendship with other girls?

pleas resd the article so you know what I’m talking about. 

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Ask her on a date :)

This is your chance! Try and ask her if she would like to get a coffee with you when she gets back from her trip, you can't go wrong with this.

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Wow thats a great article has lots of good info...you wont know if someone likes you if you dont ask them out...one girl gave me many  good signs when i asked her out she said no...edit:now i see it was too late she closed off

Edited by NoSelfSelf

There is nothing safe with playing it safe.

 

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@Alex14 i think i told you already how to ask her out (securing a definite date)


There is nothing safe with playing it safe.

 

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@Alex14 Well you tell her you want to see her outside of school when shes free?...then see her reaction...dont speak until.she says the day...more she hesitate and gives excuses it means low interest when she suggests the day you press for specific time and place...again wait...it has to be definite date no ill see or call you if she says i dont know you say ok we can do it another time(you give her another chance to come in) if she says ok then ask her out next week if she still cant its done....if you get the place day and hour you are good to go....she has interest 


There is nothing safe with playing it safe.

 

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@NoSelfSelf ok, I just asked her (via text) and she said “if you want” (It’s tomorrow). I guess ive got myself a date!

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@FredFred even though I got the date, do you think I should tone down my other female relationships? (I think she’s quite sensible to that)

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@Alex14

Have fun on the date.

You seem to have an external locus of control with our approval.

Work over the years on attaining an internal locus of control.

Meaning, do what feels right to you even against the opinion of trusted others.

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@Alex14 I don't think you should, I think you should do as you like. She will be able to see if you are committed to her after the first couple of dates. If you're showing interest in her, she doesn't have to be jealous of anything.

But then again, I'm no master of dating. Take my advice with a grain of salt, make your own experiences, go with your gut feeling :)

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1 hour ago, Alex14 said:

@FredFred even though I got the date, do you think I should tone down my other female relationships? (I think she’s quite sensible to that)

It gets tricky. When a connection is still forming between two people a lot of times its nonverbal. Assumptions and worries get made which is how you got the jealousy dilemma. It'll be good to verbally tell her your intentions and how you feel. So that she won't be able to make the same conclusions.

The more 'official' so to speak you guys are with each other the more secure you both will feel especially when hanging around others. When a connection is forming, there's a huge air of chance and unknown and if it doesn't get cultivated enough or stalls on for too long one may give up.

I wouldn't tone down your friendships, just try to be clear about your intents.

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@Alex14 See now you know she likes you...i hope you planned everything be a leader....let her talk laugh built a comfort..no never focus on 1 girl just dont let her see it until she says she wants to be exclusive.

Edited by NoSelfSelf

There is nothing safe with playing it safe.

 

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11 hours ago, Alex14 said:

So, I’ve  been trying to get into a relationship with a girl (which is going very well), but I think she’s going into auto-rejection (https://www.girlschase.com/content/secrets-getting-girls-staying-out-auto-rejection) which basically means she is starting to think I’m too hard to get for her. Things is starting to go “cold”. I believe this started because I’ve been talking with another girl (which I don’t have any romantic intentions) but I really felt the jealousy in her. 

I need to do something and do it quickly, she is going on a trip in a couple days and I think that would just finish extinguishing the magic (there’s still magic left between us). (Also, I notice she’s using another boy to try to make me jealous, since she saw me with that other girl)

how do I keep advancing wit her but not damage my friendship with other girls?

pleas resd the article so you know what I’m talking about. 

Honestly when I read this I am thinking....how did this guy suddenly appear out of thin air that she is trying to make you jealous with? 

Girls always got other options. Plans B's, orbiters, guys in the friendzone, prospects etc. 

He probably was around already. 

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@Alex14 Congratulations, it took you three forum topics but you finally asked her out:D

Will you let us know how it went at least?


Learn to resolve trauma. Together.

Testimonials thread: www.actualized.org/forum/topic/82672-experience-collection-childhood-aware-life-purpose-coaching/

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@flowboy  @universe  @NoSelfSelf @JohnnyBravo

 

Evrething went grat! (Still no first kiss) 

Now there’s a problem. Someone recommended a (afternoon) school where I want to go learn piano, but it turns out the girl goes there (I didn’t knew) and I don’t want come as to needy like if I was following her.

theres the chance that she wouldn’t even know because the ladies are private and the chance that we get a schedule next to each other i guess is pretty low, but I don’t know what should I do. (There are other good teachers elsewhere,but......)

Edited by Alex14

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@Alex14 idealy you should have kissed her at the end to see if everything went great and find you sexualy attractive(but nevermind) you are needy if you think you will mess up if you see her and what she will think when she sees you...if you see her act normal and do what you came to do(girl should not put you off your purpose but they will try)


There is nothing safe with playing it safe.

 

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13 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Alex14 idealy you should have kissed her at the end to see if everything went great and find you sexualy attractive(but nevermind) you are needy if you think you will mess up if you see her and what she will think when she sees you...if you see her act normal and do what you came to do(girl should not put you off your purpose but they will try)

This. Don't stray from your path for a girl bro, just do your thing.

Also you should have kissed her


Learn to resolve trauma. Together.

Testimonials thread: www.actualized.org/forum/topic/82672-experience-collection-childhood-aware-life-purpose-coaching/

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