Nightgame solo and its challenges

[jerrypua]

I started going out at night by myself 3 weeks ago because i was tired of my wingman. He always making excuses and doing the same thing every night thinking that magically some girl will pay him attention and hang out with him. Literally we did the same shit several months 1/2 days a week and i noticed that i was wasting time and that he was robbing me energy. The last night we saw each other was a night that i got a date from Bumble and i hanged out with this girl and her friend so i invited him cause he lived near where i was. He came over but the friend of the girl i was dating was already approached by other guy so he left lol.

I noticed 2 things:

1) I'm not gonna use any of those shitty dating apps to get girls because personally i'm making an excuse not to approach, i don't learn anything from it, i don't grow up if i do not approach and my social skills won't grow even though i ended up having sex with that girl after 2 weeks of hanging out, she's still into me but i decided that i do not want anything serious right now, what i want right now is to go out 3/4 days a week alone, and do hardcore game, i do not care if i have to do this many years, if i commit to do something, hell man, i fucking do it

2) The benefits of going out alone are big. First of all because you don't need nobody to be with you to meet new people, literally, you can meet girls whenever you want so you don't have to wait for your wingman, or demotivate if your wingman can't come with you. Second, your confidence can increase a lot by doing this by yourself and that's what all women like, confidence in a man, does not matter what you do, what car you drive, where you live, if you dress well or not, if you have money or not, women like confidence, do not be embarrassed by what you do, be proud by what you do and what you are, if you work as a dishwasher, do not be ashamed, be fucking proud because only a superior man, everything what he does is for his purpose. Currently i'm working as a valet parking and i used to give a fuck that the girls will see me as a poor man, or laugh at me because I have no money, but i realized that i wasn't respecting and loving myself, and i even wanted to start my business to have more money and to feel more confident with girls. Bad move, girls don't care about money, and thanks god i realized this soon enough. I'm still running my business since August 2018, i already have lost several thousand dollars but i don't care, i will be persistent because i want to be a millionaire. Eye: And i don't do this because of i want to attract girls anymore, i will be a millionaire because all i want is free time, i want free time for what i do, more time for my spiritual practices, time for discovering my ultimate life purpose and do it, time to help other people to grow themselves financially, emotionally and spirituality, i don't give a shit about running my business to get pussy, what a low level of consciousness is that

So going back to the point i started going out by myself 3 weeks ago and damn bro, it's being hard because it's more than 1 month that i do not game and it's my first time going out alone at night, but i'm 100% commited that i will do it, sometimes my ego says: go back with your wingman, find a wingman, this is hard by yourself, but i do not want that, i commited to do this by myself and that's it. I went out yesterday, all i just did is 1 two set indirect approach but i was blown out immediately. What i'm noticing every time i'm going out alone at night that my ego say these things:
- I wanna go home right now
- Everybody's watching me right now, i can't even move and this is weird
- Take your cell phone and pretend that you are chatting with someone to see yourself as a social person
- I tremble
- My throat closes and i think that i can't talk loud enough and that's when I block myself and I do not open
- I'm scared and feel embarrased about the security, ego say that they will see me as a weird person and i will feel observed

As you see the biggest thing that is blocking me right now to do apporaches is that i pay too much attention about what people are thinking, about their opinions so the solution for this, besides my meditation practice that i started two months ago is that every day that i go out put myself some challenges, from low to high, the challenges will be something not that easy but also not that hard, something that i'm nervous to do it but also is not very hard or for a skilled pua. That's the way i found could be the better for my case, so i will create a pick up plan, and every day i go out i will plan what i will do and my challenges.

I will keep you guys updated! Thanks!

Edited March 10, 2019 by jerrypua
Wrong word on the title

[Arcangelo]

This is excellent! Subbed.

[JohnnyBravo]

 

@jerrypua

I think its a good idea to ditch this wing man of yours.

Your paths are different.

And you know what, if people/guys/girls ever bring that question up of, "Where are your friends?" or, "so you are here all by yourself?" You can respond to them, yes I am, and why? Because all of my guy friends are using Tinder and Bumbler, and I don't believe in that stuff, and I am here to meet a REAL woman in REAL LIFE and this is my truth and I feel integrity in doing this and I feel silly being on the internet trying to meet a girlfriend.

Boom.

Notice how in doing this, in knowing this, your social anxiety in the club or bar dramatically goes down? You know WHY you are there.

Don't go to the bar to "practise pickup." Go to the bar with the potential hope of meeting a real woman you connect with.

As an aside, don't be shy about talking to other guys or groups of guys. You can make many genuine guy friends doing this particular path. Many guy friends I have met were people I was lining up at the bar with, and there were no girls around at the time so I just talked to the guys friendly.

People that go to the bar are going for the SAME REASON as you. They want to connect. Sadly, the alcohol and the music cover this fact up, but deep down inside, this is why people are going. if you KNOW this, then you wont feel like you are 'robbing energy' from people when you speak to them, you will feel you are helping them and aiding them or creating connections with them.

Don't label or think of yourself as a pickup guy.

Label yourself as "I am the facilitator of human connections." You are just the permission slip for people to connect. You are the middle bridge. You GO FIRST and open, and the people will follow. Including girls.

@jerrypua Wish to deeply say well done to you, for making the decision to commit to this particular path. It is going to be RARE for people to do what you are doing 5 years from now.

And yes, you are right. Only a small number of men are willing to go down this road, and the treasures gained from it are astronomical. So keep trusting yourself, and let us/me know how you're doing

Edited March 12, 2019 by JohnnyBravo

[flowboy]

Followed! Very relatable and same as what I'm going through currently

@jerrypua Props for choosing to go out alone, I have much respect for your motivations

Edited March 13, 2019 by flowboy

[Space]

@jerrypua Inspiring stuff! Keep at it man. You're doing more than than 99.999% of guys, including me haha.

[Spiral]

Things that help at a bar:

• Avoid being alone with your mind.
• Go to the bar disk and talk the people there first thing unless you see someone you want to approach of the gecko. 
• Once you have your drink of choice try to a approach someone/some people instantly.
• You can start a conversation to a bunch of guys, maybe you'll have a blast and be in a great mood. (Great for picking up girls) 

It gets way more difficult if you actually sit down and start to think about what to do.

Edited March 13, 2019 by Spiral

[jerrypua]

@JohnnyBravo That's a good idea man, thanks. I will say that if they ask why am I by myself. And also that's true.

And that's also what I've noticed, i go there with my mind focused and "Practicing pick up" and i totally lose touch of the present moment and don't enjoy the interactions, that's kinda selfish as well because that's like trying to get something from other people instead of offer value and make genuine interactions.

I gotta be more open minded with guys and interacting with them, i'm too close into only meeting and talking to girls and i don't notice that i can also meet cool guys. Gotta be more open minded.

@flowboy Keep up the work man, persistence and discipline is everything.. And Thanks man, i appreciate that!

@Spiral I will keep that in mind, that's true, that's what happens when i don't approach fast enough, my mind starts to overthinking everything.

 

So today i will go out after work (Around 12 at night) and i will do this and my mindset is this:

Mindset:
- You gotta be an approach machine, high volume. You fish using a net, not a single hook. Be persistent, don't judge yourself or register rejection, just have fun and don't take this seriously. (I took this from Leo, in another topic)

-Have the frame. This amazing guy is talking to her and she's lucky for this opportunity

- Have the frame: She's the one who should be selling to me

- Do not react emotionally if she reject you or shit test you, remember, shit tests are a big opportunity and for the woman to know that you're genuine

- Take so much action, it overwhelms your thinking mind.

- Open all, no matter <7, open all (Because i used to choose and only open 9s and 10s and i ended up saying things like "She's not that cute" and i ended up without approaches)

- Don't judge yourself, do not be deterred by rejection or awkward moments. Those are all totally normal and they don't matter. Get very used to girls rejecting you or ignoring you.

- Find something funny about every interaction and a rejection, you can force the physiology

- You will be OPEN to REJECTION

Challenges:

I will do at least 8 approaches

- In every interaction make strong eye contact, women can see a lot trough your eyes and you too.

- Once you get there approach the first girl or first two set you see in the street

- Do the same, approach another girl or set of two

- And do the same, approach another girl or set of two

- Now that you warmed up and you're in state do 2 more approaches in the street

- You gotta have already 5 approaches before entering to the club

- Enter to the club and do at least 3 more approaches in there

Remember: Open the first girl or set you see, use the 3 second rule, take so much action that it overwhelms your thinking mind and you will be very open to rejection and you won't take this shit seriously.

 

[jerrypua]

Okay guys, so i'm here again with my report

Today was a crazy fucking night. First of all this girl that i met from bumble that i'm hanging out with invited me to come to a club where she was with her female friend. Before that i wanted to do some game so i went to some place in Queens NY and i just had 30 minutes to do pick up.. I just did one approach but she rejected so i moved on, i entered to a club and i just wanted to approach set of girls not mixed sets but i dind't find them, yeah, i'm still struggling opening sets with guys in there but i'm gonna focus on that.

So after that i went where this girl invited me, i got there and i told myself i'm just gonna have fun and i even can use them as my wings lol.
So i got there and the girl that i'm hanging out with was so drunk so i was more with her friend who btw i realized that i like her more than this girl, i kinda lost attraction for her when we had sex, i wanna try with her friend, her energy, her feminine side attract me so much.
We went to buy some cigarettes and i was talking to the friend a lot, i feel that we have some connection, we laugh so much but obviously i don't show too much intent, what i do is make strong eye contact with her and there was some times that we just saw each other in the eyes and we just smile, kinda cool.

So then we entered to the club and we started to dance i grabbed them both and we started to dance, i make so much kino with the girl that i like and we even grind while dancing, literally these two girl where dancing with me and i was just having fun, the girls around me started to notice me, we went to smoke some cigarettes in the same place but in an open space so we were talking and laughing then they went to the bathroom, i did one apporach to one girl but just conversing not trying to pick her up.
So then they came again we were talking and laughing so much and some random girl who before i got there, approached them and she told them that she's bisexual, that she likes girls and bla bla bla they became friends, so she came here and joined us and i introduced myself and we were talking and she was like where u from btw? And i was like from Ecuador, and she told us that she loves Latin people, and she told us that she has an italian boyfriend who was there but that she prefers 1000 times latin people, she was like 'I love you, you're so cool' that's obviously validation from her to me but i just took that like nothing, like ok ok, cause my ego will want more and more validation so i was like okay, and we keep talking.. Then some random girls started to approaching me, literally like 2-3 more girls were attracted to me and one of them was like, hey do you have a lighter, and we started talking from that. Some fatty apporached me as well but i didn't like her.

Ohh and during all that some guys approached me and said they liked my jacket, this girl that i like was talking about that all the time and touchingm y jacket lol

So all good so far but not everything is rosy, some losers took my hat I turned to see and I did not know who was, so i make eye contact to everyone in that place near me and i saw two losers (One was the bisexual girl's boyfriend) looking and kinda mocking at me, so i went straight up to them and i told them, hey man, i thing you have my hat, i want it back.. and he was like no i do not have it in a defense position and kinda trying to start a fight so at the end i was like, okay man, i don't care, you don't have it then and he told me 'i better don't have it' and i just left them laughing at them. Then another guy came to me and he was like where is your hat man, ahhh, so you think i took it like so drunk and starting a fight with me, all that time i was relaxed and laughing at them and he was like what are you laughing at haha I turned away and keep talking with the girls who i was with before.
I dind't want any problem, 3 guys wanting to fight with me man, i was by myself, but even though i wasn't afraid at the end the left me alone.

So after that we went to dance with my two girls and we were having a fun time, i saw the girl that i approached when they went to the bathroom, she was dancing with other girl and i just pointed at her, smiling and making eye contact, so these girls saw me doing that and my girl became jealous and kinda mad at me and the other girl was like more attracted to me.

So after 20 minutes of dancing we left and we went to eat some food, i was in their car talking about sex and their experiences so it was a nice moment with them. The girl that i'm attracted to was like i like bad boys, and then she says, you're a badboy. (I don't label myself as a badboy, i just know that i follow my own path, i know what i want and i'm not attached to any girl, i don't need any girl in my life)
I noticed in the car she was looking at me, like i feel she's kinda attracted to me but i still don't know how to manage that if i'm dating the other girl (That i lost attraction)

So after that i left and then this girl that i'm dating called me and told me if she can come to my house, and i said no, that i have something to do tomorrow in the morning. I don't feel more attraction for her, i really feel attracted to her friend, to her energy, i will see what i can do and how can i deal with it.

I have a question and is how can i deal with drunk, jealous and loser guys. I'm going to run into many of them on this path and the fact that i'm going out alone makes it more difficult, what do you advise me guys?

So that's my report for today guys. Thank you! I'm going to bed, it's 5 am and i'm here writing down all this lol.

Have a good day.

[JohnnyBravo]

@jerrypua

How to handle jerks and guys like that?

The ultimate way is....you don't.

No fighting allowed. You walk away every opportunity you get.

They steal your hat, and you get the realisation that they're not just innocently joking with you but are seriously attempting to start conflict, you walk away. Leave the hat.

A $300 jacket you have, same situation. Leave it, let it be. Yes, I am saying to 'let them win.'

I have seen, and first handed experienced behaviour like this quite a bit when I first began going to bars and clubs. The jealousy over women thing, you think as a species we would all be beyond this by now, but apparently not! It's super primordial and in the bones for a lot of people (still). Someone may be able to clue me in on spiral dynamics what stage this is; it is at the core lowest stage of psychology.

It used to happen to me many times. These guys that try and start fights usually have a TON of dark beliefs with their own insecurities with women and people in general. Once you understand this, you wont feel any desire to fight them or 'fight back' or 'stand up for yourself' because those thoughts come from fear-based paradigms, and ideas that respect/love has to be earned.

Respect and love are ideals that CANNOT be earned even if you tried. Their makeup of these qualities is not sociological but metaphysical.

A true story.

There was a Wing Chun expert and doorman I associated with. The following story is not me being out with him, but from a friend of his who told me this and WAS with him.

For contexts sake, the Wing Chun doorman is a professional security industry worker, who has a history of being employed around slums of Europe where bars or clubs have a bad reputation for attracting idiots. This man and his team had their reputation of being employed at a bar for two-three months and then moving on because the atmosphere of the club was now reset and totally healed. This is a man who can handle himself and is a professional at this.

One time, this expert and his friend were not working the door but just casually having some drinks with each other. For some reason, five rough looking men had it in for them and wanted to pick a fight for some silly reason with this expert. They did not know each other.

Here is what happened: The wing chun expert ending up buying the 5 guys, over the course of an hour or so, about $200 worth of drinks collectly for these men.

Everyone went home unharmed. No fights happened.

This 'expert' could easily have dealt with these dudes fist fighting. Maybe they would have ended up in hospital with permanent brain damage because of some ego poking and status behaviour bullshit.

"Yeah but he lost $200." Did he? Or did he just save everyone's life by refusing to fight? Did he just preserve life by doing this? Calming them all down, and the five men surely got some free drinks, and maybe went home that evening and decided that their bullying ways and intimidation has met its expiry date.

If these guys are trying to 'steal your girls' LET THEM. If the girl is genuinely attracted to you, she wont be pulled away by some dude. But if she is their for her ego and playing the ego game, who cares who steals her; she wants men to fight for her so she can feel worthy about who she is. You don't need to play this role and enforce such barbaric nature.

And if you feel like you are a coward for walking away, then you are only grasping this ideal at its superficial surface level.

The untrained wimp walks away because he has no other choice.

The trained martial artist walks away because he KNOWS the karma of fighting, and doesn't want to hurt people. Because of such knowingness, he is happy to be temporarily humiliated or lose something trivial like a sock or a hat for the sake of peace.

For more ideas on this, I would recommend you watch Kung Fu (1978) with the young David Carradine.

The show is about the philosophical pinnacles of martial arts excellency (in its philosophy).

The best martial artists never gets into fights. Ever. He has a vibration of peace, and by this stage, he realised how silly it was training in martial arts in the first place.

Oh! And don't fall into the Ego trap of saying, "I am such a good fighter and can beat all of these guys so look how holy and humble I am." That's a toxic thought.

 

[JohnnyBravo]

Once you create your own vibration of being secure enough in yourself to not contend, naturally, you'll find these bullies and jerks just disappear.

Im not telling you off or trying to get superior to you; I struggled with this thing of guy-jerks for a long, long time. It felt like the Universe was bullying me because everywhere I went there was always some dude ready to humiliate me or 'out-alpha' me or something.

I have one very, very interesting story that involves a diamond beauty French woman and a case truck full of pot smoking punk idiots willing to do anything to make me feel bad. After this story, I learned my lesson. A happy ending. Maybe another time.

You don't have to look or aspire to alpha to get girls.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfdDUqO-V70

[Dorotheus]

@jerrypua great share. NY looks like a fun place to game. 

[jerrypua]

@JohnnyBravo Thanks so much man, great advice, its true, all this is about for the ego and reputation shit. My mistake was to go back to them and ask them if they had my hat. Who cares? It's just a $10 hat, even if it's a $300 jacket, who cares, all i want is peace, have a good time and enjoy myself, fuck reputation, i can end up pulling some girls while these guys are trying to start a fight with me or another dude. This is not worthy at all, and worse fighting for girls that I do not even know.

@Dorotheus Yes man, too many people from all over the world.

 

So today i'm going to my cousins 15th birthday, after that i'm gonna do some game around some clubs, keep you guys updated.

[jerrypua]

So here is my little report, it's not that good but here it is.. Yesterday i left work at 12, got there around 12:30 and i was kinda tired and stuck in my head, i wanted to warm up in the street with some girls but it was too cold that i couldn't then didn't want to start my night and warm up in a club but i entered anyway, i was like 15 minutes there and didn't approach anybody.

Friday i approached 1 set of two girls, i noticed that if i go out and if i don't approach quickly i get stuck in my head, so i the moment i got there, went to buy a water and saw two girls in the store, 1 girl was like a 9 and i din't wait i just approached them and the conversation turn emotional really fast so even i made a joke of her telling her stupid because she told me she forgot her phone in the Uber haha but she took it in a funny way, that's good because i feel that my calibration is kinda good.

So my biggest realization so far is that i have to minimize time in between interactions to build social momentum or i get stuck in my head. So what i will follow every single night that i go out are the 6 steps from Tyler that i'm seeing it works for me because i feel that i need to warm up before the game, so here it is:

 

6 Steps to Warm Up & Socialize

1. Open All

2. Minimize time in between interactions, as soon as the conversation ends go to the next girl quickly and start an interaction

3. Don't judge yourself - Who the fuck would have the balls to do that? I'm sober, I'm approaching a random girl out whether went bad or good, who      the fuck would have the balls to do that.
    Anybody can seat back at the fucking bar judging everybody else, criticizing them and feeling superior

4. Find something funny about every rejection and interaction

5. Keep it short and sweet if you're not in a great mood or burn it to the ground if you're in an amazing mood

6. Try to bump each one a little bit further

 

Mindset:

- Do not wait for a good response, do not wait for her to not reject you, rejection can happen any time and you have to have this in mind, just open and have in mind that rejection can happen at any moment and it's totally okay

- You don’t need to impress anybody

 

[JohnnyBravo]

@jerrypua

See my (upcoming) post on my theory on approach anxiety.

Its a theory I have never heard mentioned anywhere.

[jerrypua]

@JohnnyBravo Got it man, thanks.. I'll be waiting.. I'm out daygaming right now and so far I have 2 approaches already made, both rejections but high volume is what matters 

[jerrypua]

So I'm back again!

I haven't been active in this forum but i've been doing some pick up, but not as hardcore as i should.

I know if i dedicate 100% to become a master in PUA i will achieve it, i know, i'm fucking sure but the thing is that i'm also very focused in my business and my financial freedom, but the thing is when i focus on my work I leave the pick up aside, and If i focus in my pick up skills i kinda leave my business aside and i see them suffer.

I know that if i could focus on one thing i would become a master in that are but now I want my financial freedom, also to go out and practice game, and also grow spiritually.

Tony Robbins (I know, basic self development stuff, but i had to go back a little bit because some essential things help me a little) taught something called "The wheel of life" in which he kinda teaches you how to have a balanced life but I do not think that I can live a balanced life if I want to master something, some other ares will have to suffer a little bit.

What I've decided is i won't give up on my business cause I've already achieve so many things and no, that's not an option for me, I will become a millionaire and if i don't at least I will die trying it, but I'll never give up.

And second is I will go out at least 3 nights a week and every Sunday to do daygame.
The reason because I don't want to stop approaching girls  is because when it happens, there's a part of me that dies. I love the emotion of fear, i enjoy when i'm\ afraid, kinda weird, right? But it makes me be so present and i love that, I feel that i'm knowing myself and my deepest fear are emerging so i can work with them.
The feeling of not knowing what will happen makes me feel alive, something in the not knowing if i will get back to home alive makes me feel excited for life, kinda werid again lol but yeah i'm always thinking about death, not in a depressive pussy way, instead it motivates me a lot and makes me realize every time that nothing is important .

What i'm going to do, to become good at those two things (Business & Pick up) is:

For business:

- Keep working 3-4 hours every day in your business. (Work smart, not hard, be effective, more is not always better)

For Pick Up:

- Nightgame (Thursday, Friday & Saturday)

- Daygame (Sunday)

The other thing that i notice happened is, when my pick up skills have grown the most is when i have focused at least 80-90% into it. It means that every time i'm thinking about pick up, every time writing and analyzing what happened, what did i do wrong, basically "breathing pick up".

But now that i'm focused in my business too, i can't do that anymore, i have to read business stuff and pick up stuff (and spirituality stuff because that's very important to me, in fact the most important thing). I have to focus in business stuff and pick up stuff.

That's why when i go out after hours of work, it's so difficult to start doing approaches.

But I'll try, i took an advice from a Leo's video called "3 Step Formula To Be Ruthlessly Effective At Anything", basically he says that you gotta pick one technique in any area that you want to become good at and stick with it for 6-12 months.

What i'm going to do is i'm going to pick one technique for my Business and my Pick up skills and focus in those things.

I hope y'all doing great, have a good day!

[Leo Gura]

@jerrypua Yeah, it's hard to balance pickup with business. Pickup can take up a lot of mental energy, and so does business. Pickup also tends to screw your sleep schedule.

[jerrypua]

@Leo Gura  Yes that's what happens to me, I still feel kinda confused like I feel that I'm not being productive.

Business & financial freedom is something important to me, in fact a big motivation was to have more time to game and to do my spiritual practices.

What would you do in this situation? I would like to hear some opinions about this.

[joeyi99]

@jerrypua what kind of business do you run?

[jerrypua]

@joeyi99 E-commerce business

Edited May 31, 2019 by jerrypua