can real self-acceptance come from the ego?

[LoveandPurpose]

I struggle with accepting myself, I have many 'should-statements' in my head.

I'm asking myself: Is real acceptance of myself even possible by changing my thoughts or can't this problem be solved on this level? Or am I just deluding myself because changing my thinking would be more difficult?

Is love the solution?

[Nahm]

@LoveandPurpose Start by reading your post and asking....am I two?....or one? Is the “I” the same as “myself”, or are there distinctions found between the two?  Is the “I” other than “my head”, or am I one? Can you find distinctions? Is the “I” which is “asking myself” separate, are you two, or one? Is the “I” which asks if “I” and deluding “myself” three beings?...or are they One? 

Is your experience being two, or three....or one? 

Are you these thoughts which come and go?

Are you consistent, unchanging, awareness of  these thoughts?

Are the thoughts happening outside of awareness?

 

 

[Markus]

@LoveandPurpose It's certainly possible to build a more self-accepting and self-loving ego. It won't liberate you though.

[LoveandPurpose]

@Nahm Hmmmmm Awareness -> watches -> thoughts

-> 2?

[LoveandPurpose]

@Markus

Quote

 It's certainly possible to build a more self-accepting and self-loving ego.

How do you develop that?

[Markus]

@LoveandPurpose By giving yourself the same love and understanding you'd give someone you really cared about, I suppose. It'll be a positive thing. 

[Highest]

Who is there to accept myself?You don’t exist, the I and Me is an illusion. When you become conscious of that you will know that you are already perfect and that there is no need to accept myself because you are totally nothing, totally no-self.

[LoveandPurpose]

@Highest That ultimately true, but I think that ignoring your thoughts and seeing them as nothing but illusions can cause some problems. Afterall, you have to live in the world and to get to that place you talked about takes some time.

[ajasatya]

38 minutes ago, Highest said:

Who is there to accept myself?You don’t exist, the I and Me is an illusion. When you become conscious of that you will know that you are already perfect and that there is no need to accept myself because you are totally nothing, totally no-self.

this is just useless dogma gibberish for those who have never had a mystical experience of deeply silent mind. i'd avoid saying such things.

@LoveandPurpose the deepest acceptance is silent. with enough discipline, the mind will stop the harm and will work as a great tool for solving practical problems in an elegantly pragmatic and clean way. have you ever been to a retreat before?

Edited March 8, 2019 by ajasatya

[Shin]

You can't at the level of thoughts, that would be an another thought.

Just watch the thoughts doing their thing without judging them or trying to change them.

If you're consistent enough it will work, might take a while but that would adress the situation at the root of the problem.

Edited March 8, 2019 by Shin

[Highest]

@ajasatya My intention saying that is for him to understand what really is the case. Who knows, maybe he gets it and starts working on no-self consciousness work and one day becomes conscious that there is no one to accept ‘’myself’’

[LoveandPurpose]

@ajasatya So the solution you say is not changing your thinking? I experienced what you talking about, it feels so good.

No I've never been a to a retreat, you recommend it?

[ajasatya]

17 minutes ago, LoveandPurpose said:

@ajasatya So the solution you say is not changing your thinking? I experienced what you talking about, it feels so good.

No I've never been a to a retreat, you recommend it?

the change in the contents of the mind will occur, but we can't force it. what can we do, then? we can inquire the nature of thoughts and track the patterns that make petty thoughts arise. this way you can be aware and break those patterns.

note: this is not an easy task and i cannot teach you how to do it exactly. you gotta learn how to move through the inner universe all by yourself. it takes willpower, time and failure. those are the main components to achieve discipline of mind. the best i can do or any teacher can do for you is just give you a few hints. but you have to sit down and do the work. be aware of the patterns of the mind.

and yes, i highly recommend retreats. start with short ones... 2~3 days long. short retreats will introduce you to the surface of the mechanics of the mind. then you can dig deeper and deeper slowly and consistently.

Edited March 8, 2019 by ajasatya

[LoveandPurpose]

great advice, thanks @ajasatya