How to say I love you for the first time?

[MellowEd]

How do you tell your girlfriend that you love her? How long should you be togheter before you say it? Should the man or the women say it first? Is there a correct way to say or make it special so that it triggers the right emotion in here? What to do if she dont feel like saying it back? Any commitments that should come with the statement? 

 

Edited March 8, 2019 by MellowEd
spelling

[Shadowraix]

You're thinking about it too hard. 

It's not a race of who says it first or the most extravagant. Just say you love her when you feel those words are genuine. Say it with confidence. 

There's no proper time to say it and it doesn't matter who says it first. If anything one might be holding out in fear of the other not being ready. 

If she doesn't say it back, accept that and let her know she can see it when she feels ready. I've had girls wait over a month for me to say it back but when I did say it they knew I was genuine with it and it made them happy. 

The only commitment is that you truly feel like you do love her everytime you say it. 

Women will appreciate a man who isn't afraid to say how they feel. 

Edited March 8, 2019 by Shadowraix

[universe]

The correct way to say it, is to not expect anything from her after you said it.

[Markus]

@MellowEd Sounds like you're overthinking it. She's already your girlfriend. It's not supposed to be a strategic manipulative move. Be genuine. It's something you are feeling. If you want to say it, just say it. And let the chips fall where they may. Strategizing about how to express yourself to her is needy behaviour. 

 

Edited March 8, 2019 by Markus

[Wisebaxter]

Say it just as you're ejaculating, then you can put it down to just 'being in the moment' if she doesn't say it back. 

[MellowEd]

@Wisebaxter I dont think thats a good idea.

[improvementedward]

I agree that you're overthinking it. All of these questions are something only you can answer for yourself. I know it's cliche but just listen to your feelings. If it feels right, say it.

[Emerald]

Don't get too in the mind about it. Just say it if you feel it. But don't say it in anticipation of any particular outcome. That will add a lot of baggage to the moment.

[Markus]

3 hours ago, Wisebaxter said:

Say it just as you're ejaculating, then you can put it down to just 'being in the moment' if she doesn't say it back. 

Lol. I'm having fun picturing that.

Edited March 8, 2019 by Markus

[JohnnyBravo]

Dont listen to a this pickup sounding nonsense.

Bunch of teenagers on this forum is what it feels like.

Confess your feeling to her. Don't filter anymore.

I was the first one to say it to my woman. It kind of just "came out." And she didnt say it back to me. I didnt really notice because I was comforting her about something and just said "I love you" sincerely amongst many things. But it was said with full affect.

I left her at her house and went back to mine. End of story.

Was walking round the block home for a few minutes.

Hear running footsteps behind me, and it was my woman who had chased after me to hug me, with the biggest smile and aura available to mankind, and she said, "I love you too!!" 

Real recount of mine.

So dont be scared of this. Do what you got to do and stop doubting yourself. It is a risk. But too bad, there is no other way.

[Shadowraix]

@JohnnyBravo That was beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

[tsuki]

@MellowEd If you want to state what you feel - wait until you can tell the difference between love and infatuation.
If you want to declare your commitment - wait until you know that you want to devote your life to her.

Edited March 8, 2019 by tsuki

[JohnnyBravo]

@Shadowraix

The hug M gave me was the tighestest, warmest hug of my life.

I could hear her heart singing with this.

Thankyou. Yes it was one of the peak moments of my life.

[Amadeusz]

To me you shouldn't say 'I love you' to a women. Show her that you love her! Talk is cheap

Quote

Say it just as you're ejaculating, then you can put it down to just 'being in the moment' if she doesn't say it back. 

At first I laughed hard, but maybe it's not that bad of an idea? ;D

Edited March 9, 2019 by Amadeusz

[Wisebaxter]

@Amadeusz @Markus They key to it is though, you have to yell it with wild abandon, not say it with concentrated intensity whilst staring into her eyes. Like, just as you start to bust a nut, throw your head back and yell 'Oh my God I love you so much! Fuck yeah I love you baby!' Then as you're both lying there panting say 'shit, sorry about that. I don't know where that came from. We cool?' Then see what she says.

Just like  @Amadeusz says, show her you love her, don't just say it. That's why this approach works well. Because you're showing her and telling her simultaneously 

Edited March 9, 2019 by Wisebaxter

[JohnnyBravo]

I notice the joking around this subject has something to it.

Im curious to know what's under the jokes?

Is there a discomfort arising when an online person is trying to say "I love you" whilst they are also honouring the sensitivity and sacredness and potential impact this may have on someone they have a bond with?

Or is it funny because its just 'another girl' and nothing counts?

Whats driving that behaviour to make light of something as special as this?

There is an angry need to cheapen/depreciate this subject because this subject of intimacy and sexuality has wounded alot of guys, or, the lack of it and rejection of it has wounded alot of guys.

Instead pickup and pornography is the new replacement for human intimacy. Because in those areas, you are in control. Intimacy is about surrending control and having a two way respect that cannot be shared.

@MellowEd

Don't dismiss the significance of this stage youre going through. This is important; you saying this is important. Or the conscious decision to not say it is important.

[Eric Tarpall]

Don't say it with words. Say it with actions. If you treat her a certain way she'll know that you love her. If you say "I love you" That's really awkward.

[flowboy]

In my last relationship, I said it in the most true way I could: "I love you in this moment."

This was on the night we met

This is what I felt, and I explained that saying you love someone tends to imply that you will also love the future person they will become and love what they have been and everything you haven't seen. And it doesn't make sense to me because we're a different person at any moment anyhow. So how can you truly mean a statement like that. Instead I said what I knew to be true, that in that moment, as she laid in my arms, I loved her.

It took this impossible pressure off, so she said it back right away.

So I would advise to say it when you feel it, and don't make it into more than it is, expressing a feeling.

Edited March 14, 2019 by flowboy

[Wisebaxter]

 

On 09/03/2019 at 2:07 PM, JohnnyBravo said:

I notice the joking around this subject has something to it.

Im curious to know what's under the jokes?

Is there a discomfort arising when an online person is trying to say "I love you" whilst they are also honouring the sensitivity and sacredness and potential impact this may have on someone they have a bond with?

Or is it funny because its just 'another girl' and nothing counts?

Whats driving that behaviour to make light of something as special as this?

There is an angry need to cheapen/depreciate this subject because this subject of intimacy and sexuality has wounded alot of guys, or, the lack of it and rejection of it has wounded alot of guys.

@JohnnyBravo Dude I was joking! Nobody is cheapening anything, that's something you've superimposed onto the situation, based on your own assumptions, prejudices, experiences and beliefs. Could it be you're taking things too seriously? I respect that fact that you're wanting this kind of thing to be special, which it is, but please don't just assume others don't think of things that way, just because they have a different sense of humour or whatever, or like to mess around a bit. You're making judgements based on words on a screen at the end of the day. I'm going to say this out of love for you, not to satisfy my own ego or attack you, but be weary of the trap pf moralising or trying to change others. You said before that you're not perfect so work on yourself. When you've removed the plank from your own eye the world will seem like a brighter place to you. I sincerely hope this doesn't rub you up the wrong way at all. I am very aware of my own hypocrisy here in one sense as I'm sort of moralising regarding moralising. 

This video is great, for you and I, as we both seem like the types who like to moralise a bit and dish out lessons. Trust me bro I'm seeing myself in you big time. That's what we're having this discussion, so we can learn.

As for what's under the jokes? God itself. Realty is inherently playful. Love is playful

@MellowEd Just to be clear bro, I was joking. Perhaps I should have made that clearer so sorry if I confused you. In the future I'll make it clearer when I'm horsing around and try to be a bit more sensitive. Don't say it as you're busting a nut. My 'honest' advice (serious face) is to not think about it too much and keep enjoying her company. You'll know when the time is right, or she will. Just have fun and play. Life is supposed to be playful and fun. Also consider that, like someone else said, they're just words at the end of the day, perhaps that's what I was attempting to get across with my joke. She will see it your eyes way before she hears words coming out of your mouth. So say it with your eyes and your deeds and forget about words for now. 

 

Edited March 14, 2019 by Wisebaxter

[JohnnyBravo]

@Wisebaxter

Yes.  Respect for this.

I shall contemplate.

I still harbour anger and resentment towards sources that make humour or jokes around sexuality or relationships.

I was in a group dynamic one time, and a man was discussing "My wife did this, and blah blah blah."

Everyone in the group laughed. I did not. Their laughter was the Hyena laughter- a devilish, crude stabbing.

Jokes and humour are not in the same category as playfulness and genuine laughter.

I shall contemplate what you have said, because you are spot on in many regards on seeing this in me. Thankyou for this, and yes, I could have said what I wanted in a more proper way.

Your intuitive is accurate.