Limitations of empathy / stage green to stage yellow

[Andreas]

This is really interesting. I recommend all of you to watch this. Especially if you have high empathy. 

 

Edited March 7, 2019 by Andreas

[Markus]

@Andreas I read the summary of Paul Bloom's thing. He makes some good points about how acting from a place of emotional triggeredness can cause harm. Generally, when you feel for someone, it is still greatly about you. Through getting emotionally triggered yourself, you're not actually sincerely looking at the suffering of the person you feel for. Nor are you very helpful when you yourself can't emotionally handle someone else's problem due to your desperation.

However, a true solution here is not apathy, or hating empathy. Maintaining a degree of apathy can make you more functional, but also less understanding and compassionate. When you try to be rational and not involved, you're shutting out the reality of what people go through. And when you don't fully acknowledge their pain, it's easy to ignore very real problems, or devalue those.

When you seek to truly look at suffering, you will inevitably get triggered and emotional, because you've built up walls against seeing what's truly going on. But as you open up, and eventually manage to look at suffering without putting yourself in the middle, you become truly compassionate - you see people's problems without turning away, with clarity and calmness.

 

 

[CreamCat]

@Markus This is what a good mix of apathy and empathy looks like.

Actually, empathy is forced upon the man who eats burger. He gains full consciousness of what he did by being pressured into eating what he kills.

Also, personal development boils down to "You are prefect, but you can do better". Having empathy doesn't mean you don't remind other people of what they can be.

Edited March 8, 2019 by CreamCat

[zambize]

12 hours ago, Markus said:

@Andreas I read the summary of Paul Bloom's thing. He makes some good points about how acting from a place of emotional triggeredness can cause harm. Generally, when you feel for someone, it is still greatly about you. Through getting emotionally triggered yourself, you're not actually sincerely looking at the suffering of the person you feel for. Nor are you very helpful when you yourself can't emotionally handle someone else's problem due to your desperation.

However, a true solution here is not apathy, or hating empathy. Maintaining a degree of apathy can make you more functional, but also less understanding and compassionate. When you try to be rational and not involved, you're shutting out the reality of what people go through. And when you don't fully acknowledge their pain, it's easy to ignore very real problems, or devalue those.

When you seek to truly look at suffering, you will inevitably get triggered and emotional, because you've built up walls against seeing what's truly going on. But as you open up, and eventually manage to look at suffering without putting yourself in the middle, you become truly compassionate - you see people's problems without turning away, with clarity and calmness.

 

 

That was really well worded, I appreciate reading well thought out answers like this