I feel like I don't know myself (personality)

[LoveandPurpose]

The last few years I was mainly interested in spirituality and treated my thoughts therefore only as illusions, you could say without much value.

This led me to this feeling that I don't really know myself from a relative point of view. What I really think and what I really like. I feel like I lack this sense of self, integrity and groundedness. 

How can I get to know myself better as a person?

[Sahil Pandit]

@LoveandPurpose Take the LP Course and do the exercises.

 

[Breathe]

I feel into the same trap. You need to learn how to treat yourself with love and care. Read one or two books on mental health and journal like a mother fucker.

[LoveandPurpose]

@Sahil Pandit Are they very helpful? I started it, still at the beginning (videos 15, in concepts). I thought that I should prioritize that Who am I question over the LPC. at the moment So you say I should continue with it?

[OrpheusNovum]

Find a rhythm to implementing the things you enjoy doing. Part of the radical implications of no-self is realizing that what your self-concept is is actually a collection of patterns and cycles onto which you project meaning. Why are you projecting that meaning? What does that say about your desires?

[Sahil Pandit]

@LoveandPurpose Yes, continue.

Leo worked hard to put together this course for you to figure out authentically who you are.

It's gonna take some mental work on your part, but you will be grateful for the insights you come up with as you do the exercises.

[LoveandPurpose]

@Breathe Currently reading the 6 pillars of self esteem, is that in that category? Or do you have a good suggestion?

I have a journal. About what exactly should I journal?

[LoveandPurpose]

@OrpheusNovum I don't quite understand. Could you elaborate, please? 

[LoveandPurpose]

@Sahil Pandit Alright, thank you very much!

[Breathe]

6 minutes ago, LoveandPurpose said:

@Breathe Currently reading the 6 pillars of self esteem, is that in that category? Or do you have a good suggestion?

I have a journal. About what exactly should I journal?

6-pillars is a good book. Just don't go filling your head with a bunch of contradictory information. 6-pillars is a good resource so stick with it. Make it your bible. Journal about your desires and aspirations, responsibility, acceptance, your fears, avoidance strategies. Also write about any problems you are currently facing. It's really important to get your thoughts on to paper and is a great compliment to meditation. It brings your meditation to life. Are you familiar with free-writing?

[OrpheusNovum]

Let me think on that so I don't butcher the meaning by rushing an answer.

[zambize]

I think this is a really common occurrence throughout personal development, ego/thought/desire can cause so much suffering that's it's easy to see these things demonize them within ourselves, and so, we unwittingly can become unconscious of all the things we love, who we are, our feelings.  We just kind of reject the lot of it as necessary stuff that has to go, it's egoic after all and I'm trying to be spiritual!  Yet, with good intentions, this often goes too far, and it comes to the point of repression of our own thoughts and emotion.  To get back into feeling like you know who you are, I would meditate.  I wouldn't worry about concentration or anything, I would focus on the emotionally most intense sensation in your body, and work on relaxing into that and allowing it to be as intense as it wants to be.  This seems a bit like a woo-woo, well what the fuck is that going to do with me.  But training yourself to be emotionally sensitive will allow you to better pick up on how you feel about a situation internally, often we can be feeling like five different emotions at once, layered on top of each other etc, and it really takes some time to be able to work through that.  However, you will get a better sense of who you are because as you work through a kind of net of often conflicting emotions, they tend to start resolving themselves, and you will feel less split in multiple directions, more "you".  I think looking into art, music, poetry, dance, anything that makes you be creative and offers you an outlet to be you would also be a good idea

[LoveandPurpose]

@zambize Thank you! That was very helpful!

[Commodent]

"Spiritual" people usually are the most dissociated (split off / disconnected) people, because they're trying to run away from their inner pain. Often referred to as spiritual bypassing. You can really just ditch all this spiritual stuff altogether if you'd like to, it's absolutely not needed at all. Let be.

[LoveandPurpose]

@Commodent Well spirituality is an essential part of my well-being so ditching it completly would be swinging too much to the other extreme. But with the first part I agree. How do you recognize between spiritual bypassing and when are you just getting too lost in the mazes of your own mind and therefore causing unnecessary suffering?

[Breathe]

@LoveandPurpose As someone who was very guilty of spiritual bypassing in the past, what I discovered is that there are several questions you can ask yourself if you ever want to find out. Questions such as: Am I being responsible? Am I living a balanced life? Am I taking care of myself? Too often people throw the baby out with the bathwater and go straight for enlightenment while neglecting one's needs. These questions help keep one on track. In fact, one might argue that these questions are really about self-actualization / self-esteem. Actualization work and enlightenment work go hand in hand.

[Commodent]

@LoveandPurpose if you think you need spiritual dogma or whatever in order to be spiritual then I respectfully disagree. I've never been more spiritual than after I ditched the whole spirituality pursuit, because when you don't care and just start living it just seems to naturally arise. The key lies in finding who YOU are and not what some guru told you, and coincidentally you need nothing but your own knowing to attain that. 

[zambize]

3 minutes ago, Commodent said:

@LoveandPurpose if you think you need spiritual dogma or whatever in order to be spiritual then I respectfully disagree. 

Where did he say that 0_o?

[Commodent]

@zambize It's quite evident from the main post. 

To answer @LoveandPurpose , you know you're spiritual bypassing when you among other things are treating your thoughts and feelings as illusions. It's such a common idea to think that's spirituality but it's actually the exact opposite of spirituality, it's self-alienation. 

[zambize]

5 minutes ago, Commodent said:

@zambize It's quite evident from the main post. 

To answer @LoveandPurpose , you know you're spiritual bypassing when you among other things are treating your thoughts and feelings as illusions. It's such a common idea to think that's spirituality but it's actually the exact opposite of spirituality, it's self-alienation. 

No it's not, not to me at least D: