The Real Reason For Meditation And How It Will Help You With Women

[NilsFlair]

I’ve seen posts on meditation here and there, and honestly I think that a lot of people might not be that clear to the purpose of meditation. And since I think it’s such an essential practice I thought I’d give you my take on it.

 

So, I’ve been meditating for a little over 5 years now, almost every single day, experimenting with a lot of different techniques, and I have to say that this one practice might have been one of the most beneficial things I’ve done.

 

I started out meditating because I thought that I wanted to be able to hold better eye contact (haha.. yes this is true!), but I quickly started noticing a lot of things that changes I didn’t expect.

 

Meditation was this one habit that I really stuck with, even when I came home from the club at 5 am and had to work at 7 am I still sat down for my daily meditation for 20 minutes. At the time like I said above I did it for superficial reasons like; being able to focus better, longer attention span, good for the brain and overall health etc.

Since these where my primary motivations, it was hard to meditate when I had periods of struggle in my life, since the habit was based on the concept of self improvement and when I was feeling very low, I really didn’t want anything to do with self improvement.

But the first time I got a glimpse of what this habit was actually doing for me was after a couple of months of consistent mediation. I started observing things in a very different way, I found myself looking a statue or a fountain for 30 seconds in awe, it was like I hadn’t seen these objects beauty before, never in this focus never in this way.

 

That was the first time that I noticed that something was changing, that was the first time I noticed a shift of awareness caused by a couple months of regular meditation. Of course, this was just the beginning.

 

I started reading books around the same time I started meditating (I was on the self-improvement wave), and at first it had seemed like a very dry task, the stories and ideas could be cool but it was hard for me to actually become interested enough to get any epiphanies from it.

 

After a couple of months the stories and ideas started to come alive, reading became very exciting, my mind would connect concepts from different books with ease and create unique connections between the different ideas I had digested. I got deeper into both practices and had some massive changes in my life circumstance as a result of this.

 

But the absolute biggest change I experienced due to meditation was the every increasing depth of my emotions and how far my emotional awareness can go. 5 Years ago I was very emotionally disconnected, if someone started talking about emotions I would excuse myself out of the conversation, either out of discomfort or disgust.

I identified myself as a “man of steel” and took pride in being invulnerable. As a result of this mindset I would suppress all of my emotions most of the time, and become very flat lined as a person.

 

Of course I now know that no one can be emotionally invulnerable, anyone who is trying to give this impression is pretending that they don’t have emotions, but they are just suppressing them in various different ways.

The crazy thing about this was that this was the biggest reason why I almost never interacted with girls in my teenage years, girls made me feel more emotions and since all I did everytime I felt a “negative” emotion was to suppress it, I quickly came to a point where it was painful just to be in the presence of a girl (these emotions where not at all solved later on by sleeping with 100s of girls, they stayed in me).

 

It was meditation that started to hint at this back in the day, about 1 year into the habit I started to become more aware of my emotions (or lack of emotions). Before that I was completely unaware of all of this, I had not even a single clue, my awareness was low.

Even though I had some heavy resistance to my emotions, mediation helped me with a steadily increasing flow of awareness when I needed it the most, this helped me make some great leaps and get some things right with girls even though I felt so much resistance.

And this is my point, the reason for meditation is increasing your awareness. It’s not focus, it’s not health related, it’s not to be able to hold eye contact haha, it’s to gain awareness.

The awareness you gain from meditation permeates every single area in your life, understanding your emotions, understanding your thoughts, understanding your beliefs and your behaviors, it all takes awareness and meditation is that one thing that is always supporting that.

Meditation goes deep, because awareness goes deep. Most of us (including myself) are so incredibly unaware of everything that’s going on and we don’t even know it. This is partly because of how the left brain hemisphere influences our perception to keep our preserve our current beliefs about ourselves (See Athene’s Theory Of Everything on youtube).

Increasing your awareness is the key to all your problems, because it allows you to find solutions to all your problems. Emotional awareness is especially important because your emotions connects your conscious and subconscious mind. When you have a subconscious belief that gets triggered it’s experienced as an emotion in the conscious mind.

So becoming aware of this you can use your emotions as roads straight to your subconscious beliefs and become conscious of them, let go of the emotional attachment connected to them and ultimately change or drop them.

I don’t want to get into too much details about the countless areas awareness applies, I’m saving that for later articles and videos.

But you might be left with one question; How the fuck do I meditate properly??

Well, to be honest I really think simplicity is the key, and of course consistency.

Even though I’ve tried many different techniques there’s two that I like the most.

The first one (which I recommend beginners to start with) is to simply sit down with closed eyes for 10 minutes and wait for the alarm. People say focus on the breath but I never liked that, so I recommend to just sit down with closed eyes for 10 minutes and do nothing. With consistency you will teach yourself how to meditate properly (because you become more aware in the meditation itself).

The second one is something I only recommend someone who has meditated for at least 6 months to 1 year. This is an emotional meditation, where you focus exclusively on the emotions you experience in your body from moment to moment. The goal is to simply be aware of these emotions and how the shift. This one you can do for 10 minutes or longer.

That’s pretty much it for today!

- Nils Flair

[Salvijus]

11 hours ago, NilsFlair said:

I started to become more aware of my emotions (or lack of emotions). Before that I was completely unaware of all of this, I had not even a single clue, my awareness was low.

That's 99% of the people in this world. And the biggest tragedy is that they all think they are aware of their emotions. It's painful to watch actually. Tho i can't blame them, I've been there myself thinking the same way

Good post btw

Edited March 4, 2019 by Salvijus

[NilsFlair]

Yes, but the cool thing is that this process actually makes you more and more aware of these things.

[Aeris]

will add more work into that, thanks for the post