rejection from people you admire

[Elia]

Hi everyone, 

I was wondering about rejection this week because I have been working on it recently and what i found is that I don't care so much being rejected by people i do not look up to or am inspired by. However, what if it's being rejected by an old friend or someone you admire, or someone you love, this hurts  a lot because these are the people you recognise yourself in and with whom you want to associate. 

Has this happened to you before and how do you handle this type of rejection? 

 

Edited March 2, 2019 by Elia

[Shin]

7 minutes ago, Elia said:

Hi everyone, 

This hurts  a lot because these are the people you recognise yourself in and with whom you want to associate. 

How do you handle this type of rejection? 

 

 

It hurts because you think their opinion matters.

It doesn't matter what people think of you, they can only project an image of what they think you are,

What they want you to be.

Only you can do you though, and you will never be how people want you to be, unless you meet people that totally accept you for who you are.

There will always be someone who doesn't like you or aprove of you because everyone likes different things, and thinks it's the best things ...

It's a loosing game to please anyone, just be you, just do what makes you happy,

That's the only way you'll truly be ...

... happy

?

[JohnnyBravo]

I found this Buddhist discussion on Rejection and practical ideas to understand what rejection is here:

 

 

Discussion begins at 38.00 minutes. How to handle abusers, violence, rejection, what to do when you feel rejected.....

Core message: even the parts of you that are rejected......it deserves your acceptance and love also

[NoSelfSelf]

It hurts because they fullfill your desire for being liked approved you get something from them if you dont get anything from them(or it could be your need to give mybe) then you fear losing it cuz this to the mind means you will never get it and you need it to survive or feel complete while with other people you dont get anything you dont care...

[Dumb Enlightened]

Realize that how you feel because of a situation is related to the mind's interpretation of the situation, that's why two people can have different feelings arising from the same situation, ask yourself why you feel like this, and you shall find out that is because of some belief that you have , confront this belief until it dissolves

[universe]

Ask yourself "Why do I feel this way? Thats interesting..."

Then ask "What does this feeling want to tell me?"

If you find out, acknowledge it. Accept the feeling and whatever is coming up.

[Markus]

@Elia It hurts because you care. It is a tough thing to deal with and definitely something I've struggled with.

In my case, I had trouble accepting the notion that a good person could reject me, or consider me flawed or bad. Because a good person should be understanding of me, etc. I had the desire to thus make them a bad person in my mind, which I couldn't genuinely do.

What can help is taking yourself out of the equation. Consider their needs. And that people lack understanding of one another and often aren't compatible. It's not a moral condemnation of you as a person. It's just them attending to their needs, which include not having you in their life. It's hard not to take personally, but work on seeing the big picture. You can definitely imagine people you'd not want around, even though you have nothing personal against them.

[Elia]

@Markus thank you, i understand what you are saying and this helps a lot. I do take it personally, its really really hard for me not to, especially when it is a person you think is from 'your kind of tribe'

 

 

[Shin]

I wish you would be able to see they aren't judging you but a concept in their mind.

There is 0 way for them to actually judge you, once you see that you will be free  

[Elia]

14 hours ago, Shin said:

I wish you would be able to see they aren't judging you but a concept in their mind.

There is 0 way for them to actually judge you, once you see that you will be free  

what do you mean? everyone judges all the time