How to become more feminine?

[LambChop]

Hello everyone

So, to cut to the chase, I grew up around a loooot of tesosterone. I have 2 older brothers, and when I was little I used to look up to them and take after them. I beleive this has sorta molded me into becoming more masculine, to the point where currently more femme lesbians are asking me out than masculine men! My brother has also told me that I have a flat&low voice compared to a bouncy and bubbly voice, which I guess makes me more masculine... but idk if I should change that?

So far, the men who HAVE asked me out are the geeky types who are very submissive (and kinda perverted), which isn't my cup of tea. I want to attract a confident man who takes the initiative and leads me along.

So I'm currently growing out my hair and self pampering (which includes excercise and hair/skin care), but I know not just looks will cut it. How do I bring my gentle, sweet, and motherly side out more and minimize my aggressive and competitive side?

[Emerald]

11 minutes ago, LambChop said:

Hello everyone

So, to cut to the chase, I grew up around a loooot of tesosterone. I have 2 older brothers, and when I was little I used to look up to them and take after them. I beleive this has sorta molded me into becoming more masculine, to the point where currently more femme lesbians are asking me out than masculine men! My brother has also told me that I have a flat&low voice compared to a bouncy and bubbly voice, which I guess makes me more masculine... but idk if I should change that?

So far, the men who HAVE asked me out are the geeky types who are very submissive (and kinda perverted), which isn't my cup of tea. I want to attract a confident man who takes the initiative and leads me along.

So I'm currently growing out my hair and self pampering (which includes excercise and hair/skin care), but I know not just looks will cut it. How do I bring my gentle, sweet, and motherly side out more and minimize my aggressive and competitive side?

I think the main thing is to cultivate sensitivity and receptivity. And the latter is contingent upon the former. So, you can start by getting in touch with your emotions more, and to practice expressing from them. That way, as you own your femininity, it will be genuine and not just a caricature of femininity. 

So, cultivating emotional sensitivity is key.

You could also look into various tricks to accentuating your feminine attributes. But this is just 20% of the battle. 

[Shin]

Let yourself be vulnerable and feel the emotions, whether it feels good or not, and don't resist anything (internally, doesn't mean you let everyone walk all over you).

Let yourself be spontaneous, whatever you want to say and however you want to act, do it without thinking about it.
May find yourself in weird and uncomfortable situation at the beginning, but that's ok

[LambChop]

@Shin @Emerald  I'm really greatful for this advice usually I tend to hold back my true emotions from everyone and withdraw until I'm completely alone, it's kinda habitual! Hopefully this will help me. Thanks a ton

[Shin]

5 minutes ago, LambChop said:

@Shin @Emerald  I'm really greatful for this advice usually I tend to hold back my true emotions from everyone and withdraw until I'm completely alone, it's kinda habitual! Hopefully this will help me. Thanks a ton

Also, and that goes with allowing yourself to be vulnerable, talk about your feelings when this make sense.

Even the deep "disgusting" stuff that you don't want anyone to know about,
If it's a friend obviously, or if the conversation goes there and the person seems nice.

[Aeris]

Many mens love manly woman though. Nothing to change ? Just what is a girl ? 

[Salvijus]

I'd focus more on being authentic then trying to be something you're not.

But there's a way to bring out the gentleness in everyone. The best way would be if you did some yogic practice but that's unrealistic right now. 

I'd say focus on things like volunteering and devotion. Find something to take care of everyday. Buy some plants that you could take care of. Practice devotion. Do selfless activity. That's it basicly. It's simple but no one is doing it. 

 

 

 

Edited March 2, 2019 by Salvijus

[JohnnyBravo]

Practise is one thing. Practise being "feminine" whatever that means to you. Over time you will become familiar with this aspect of yourself and it will naturally integrate.

You could also try uping up sincere emotional intensity when talking with people you trust (at first) and then also to strangers. Be more authentic and sincere and dont try and filter what you say as much. I mean emotion wise. If you feel sad, be sad totally.

Feminine is not akin to being womanly. Very different things they arent even related.

In intercations, try *yielding* more. With your brothers, let them win arguments or conversations they wish to dominate.

Let go of the need to be correct or be seen as a dominant guy.

Be passive more. Not lazy, not reactive, not overwhelming....practise feeling an allowing nature in yourself to take presence.

For further ideas you can read The Tao of Leadership. The book is a interpretation of Taoism and the Tao Te Ching but with the focus on group dynamics.

If you want to be more feminine (which is a very powerful quality) then examine Taoism.

Be gentle. Let things be. allow things to happen naturally. Dont feel the need to always be "doing." Be composed, graceful, and see the magic that takes place.

I have noticed generally many Japanese and Chinese older men have this balance well honed. There isnt an edginess or forcefulness about them, yet them make things happen almost effortlessly with people.

Good luck! And dont be surprised if you end up with more girlfriends than your brothers.

Being feminine is a very misunderstood quality. Western culture is overly about achievement, getting things done, domination, a brutality to life. This has drowned out the pure feminine.

Likewise, the culture cannot be called masculine either.

A better way would be to say Western culture is harshly anti-feminine nature.

Please dont confuse this with feminism or women. I am not referring being feminie with those things.

......however. Feminism and its movement is as far away from pure feminine as possible in my opinion.

A truely feminine woman is rare.

A balanced man is rare.

But you can do it!!

[Samra]

Dance a lot like no one is watching. 

 

[Shin]

34 minutes ago, Samra said:

Dance a lot like no one is watching. 

 

 

Even if you dance like a robot,

Especially if you dance like a robot  

[happyminion]

Women can be badass in any form! But I think being girly is about being fun and cute. 

[Emotionalmosquito]

This is one area where Teal Swan specializes. She might be a good resource for you

[Eric Tarpall]

Read Lady by Roosh V. 

[flowboy]

On 3/2/2019 at 0:53 AM, LambChop said:

How do I bring my gentle, sweet, and motherly side out more and minimize my aggressive and competitive side?

@LambChop Easy on the motherly, the healthy masculine doesn't need/want that (most of the time) from his intimate partner. Being motherly is a good way to kill sexual tension.

If you want to attract masculine men, you need to become more acquainted with being in your feminine. Don't worry, you already have this. Even men have it. This means being comfortable letting go of control, not having a plan, and trusting others to lead. Empower your man to lead you, and he will allow you to bloom in your femininity.

I don't think you have to curb your aggression too much, as probably you are looking for a man who is not scared away by that.

But I'm not an expert on how to get there as a woman. Obviously.

This guy David Deida is, though. I know it's weird that it's a man teaching this but I am friends with many women who agree that he really knows his stuff from the other sex's side as well.

I recommend this book: https://deida.info/dear-lover/

Probably you can find an audiobook somewhere.

 

[flowboy]

Also if you want some practical tips, I think these are pretty solid in my opinion: