Why Help Others?

[PetarKa]

This question has come up for me. It has confused me. What are your thoughts on this topic? How and why do you help others? Some will do it because of moralistic reasons (like stage Blue), others simply ignore helping others (Orange), others devote everything towards this goal (Green), etc.

If you can't feel for yourself, or even see, the benefits of helping someone then why would you help others at all?

[Shadowraix]

Do you desire to help others?

Thats all you really need to help others. Your 'morals' so to speak are just reflections of your desires. Would you still want to let others suffer and not help them when you realize those people are you?

Asking how to help people is an incredibly situational thing to answer.

[Aakash]

if you strip all labels away 

name, address, country of birth, nationality, gender, likes, dislike, personality 

what is the difference between you and the other person? 

[DrewNows]

This here is a great video on the subject. Teal Swan offers an expansive look with many perspectives: 

 

[DrewNows]

54 minutes ago, PetarKa said:

This question has come up for me. It has confused me. What are your thoughts on this topic? How and why do you help others? Some will do it because of moralistic reasons (like stage Blue), others simply ignore helping others (Orange), others devote everything towards this goal (Green), etc.

If you can't feel for yourself, or even see, the benefits of helping someone then why would you help others at all?

Also i dont find it more helpful throwing in spiral dynamics. The more simpler we can make it, generally the better it is we understand it

 

[Forestluv]

@PetarKa There are post-personal sources of desire that aren’t about seeking to fulfill self needs. 

[Sahil Pandit]

@PetarKa imagine there was a spectrum and on one side, it was complete selfishness, and on the other, it was complete selfless.

Which emotions would be associated with each?

Which one would you like the trajectory of your life to head toward? 

[Joseph Maynor]

What else is more fulfilling than helping someone?  Don't double-down too hard on contribution though or you can turn this beautiful sentiment into an Egoic thing.  Just live your life and allow yourself to help others in a very natural, intuitive way, without being neurotic or forced about it.  And don't help others as a way to distract yourself from doing your own work.  We all fall into that, so don't feel bad about it.  Just become more aware of the trap of doubling-down on clinging to help others.

Edited February 28, 2019 by Joseph Maynor

[Salvijus]

It's something that happens naturally to you when your identity expands and becomes more all inclusive. That is a fruit of consciousness work. 

Helping others is not an obligation. It's a priviledge

[Markus]

@PetarKa I'll give two takes on this.

The first is the selfish take, which is basically reciprocal altruism. Helping others increases the chance they'll help you in return, creating mutually beneficial relationships. This kind of interaction manifests in many ways. One could even say a lot of helping others, in legitimate ways, is done very selfishly. Whether it's about getting favours in return, improving your reputation, or even getting a rush of positive emotion, and feeling better about yourself. As long as there is the agenda of you doing something to experience these things, it is selfish.

The unselfish take relates more to your question. It is one that I think can't really be communicated to selfish people. A selfish person will say - why would I do anything if it doesn't benefit me? And to them it is an extremely convincing view. I held it myself for a long time, struggling to see past that. It seems kind of absolute, and undeniable. The answer is, just for the sake of it. Because it feels right and natural.

The irony is, selflessness ends up being the most worthwhile thing. It will slowly crumble your ego, all the blockages, karma, neuroses, issues that make you suffer and bind you to samsara. And it is common that we undertake the journey of enlightenment for the selfish reasons of stopping suffering and getting to an amazing state where we are at peace. But the selfishness cannot survive the full journey. It is not something you can get away with. To any degree.

[Truth Addict]

13 hours ago, Shadowraix said:

Do you desire to help others?

Thats all you really need to help others. Your 'morals' so to speak are just reflections of your desires. Would you still want to let others suffer and not help them when you realize those people are you?

Asking how to help people is an incredibly situational thing to answer.

??

[Shin]

It feels good, even if you do it without an agenda (especially if you do it without an agenda).
If you want to be happy, you have to help (in whatever way you genuinely love to do it),

Being selfish can't bring happiness, because on the big picture it's a part of the whole refusing to help another,
It may work on shallow and gross ways, like excitement (trying new or extreme experiences) or pure hedonistic pleasure (sex/food/drugs of any kind), but this only works for a short period of time and needs constant maintenance (therefore why almost no one is constantly happy).

If you do help, for real, whenever you can, then you'll feel at peace and content all the time.
This is very counter intuitive though, because we think if we give we lose something, but this couldn't be further from the truth.
 

 

[Hellspeed]

I help myself in reality. So yeah, is egotistical. Or so i thought, but yeah maybe the reality is that when you help someone you energetically push that human being in a dept situation, a vampire-victim stage  

Edited March 1, 2019 by Hellspeed

[PetarKa]

But even if we expand our identity to others, this expanded identity wouldn't still encompass the joy other people experience. It would be limited to their smiles, happy words, expressions of joy, etc. However if I help myself I will experience the joy, the excitement, the peace, etc.

What about this?

[tsuki]

@PetarKa For most people, helping others is a way to defend their self-image, or their self-righteous view of 'how the world should be'. This mode of helping is actually a hidden plea for help that the helper is not able to express explicitly.

To actually meet another person where he/she is, requires enormous sensitivity and maturity that most people lack.
It has to come from a place of abundance - simply because there is nothing better to do.

Edited March 2, 2019 by tsuki

[Salvijus]

3 hours ago, PetarKa said:

But even if we expand our identity to others, this expanded identity wouldn't still encompass the joy other people experience. It would be limited to their smiles, happy words, expressions of joy, etc. However if I help myself I will experience the joy, the excitement, the peace, etc.

What about this?

The process of expanding your identity is the joy by itself. Including others as a part of yourself is an incredible sense of expensiveness and satisfaction. The whole effort of spirituality is to brake one's limited identity and make it larger and larger and then brake it into all inclusive, boundless existence.

Bhuddha sayed, "if you knew they joy of sharing and giving you wouldn't miss a single meal without sharing it with someone in some way" ?