How to set achievable goals for your mind + emotions.

[Baldmunt]

Hey guys,

I'm making my Personal Development plan for my self-actualization-project. I'm listening and reading into self-development and self-actualization for a year now and i notice most of the time i'm passive so i committed myself to make some real work and discover some aspects by myself. 

Last month i journal a lot of things i want to achieve. So i made a list of some 'vague' long-term and short-term goals i want to achieve. I basicly divide it into some category's/aspects of life (for instance: health, career/business, finances, relationships, etc.).

I am making these goals more concrete. I know the mind tricks us when those goals are written down wrong so i'd like to make my goals as clear and specific possible. I'm using the SMART-method (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, time-bound). In addition i make sure they are in line with the 5 elements of setting goals by Locke and Latham (Clarity, challenge, commitment, feedback, complexity). I'm adding some 'why do i want this goal?' questions to make sure those are somehow authentic to my needs. Finally i'm going to make a massive action-plan for 2019. 

For most of the aspects of life it's easy to write them down. For example:

(Health: 1. I will get into nature every Sunday for at least 1 hour and watch it consciously without distractions).
(Finances: 3. I am going to save 10% of my monthly net income for my business/career by the end of the year)

I'm really stuck at the mind + emotion-category. I listened to a lot of seminars on psychology and leo. I'm overwhelmed with information and things i'd like to learn/read/do in my self-discovery. I find it really hard to set 'mind + emotion'- goals that fit the SMART-method.  Many aspects in our psychology are related to another and finding the roots of some problems is really hard.

I'd like to work on my self-esteem, authentic self and stop caring what other people think on you. 

For example, one of my long-term 5/10 year goal is:

- Finding my authentic self (5-10 year goals)
- Stop caring about other peoples opinions (1 - 5 year goal)
- Understanding self-esteem and fixing my self esteem (5-year goal)
- Meditate every day for 30 minutes (1-year goal for installing the habit)
- Journal my thoughts + emotions
-Reading at least 10-self-help books before 2020 that support my other mind+emotion goals.

Now most of these are goals i'd like to make SMART. But when i try i'm constantly adding some sub-category. 

For example:
 Finding my authentic self contains:
 Finding my weaknesses
 Finding my strenghts
 Finding my greatest fears
 Finding my bad habits/addictions
 Finding my life purpose

I want to know and do so much things to know myself better and improve my mental state that i find it hard to start.

So i have 2 questions for you.
1. Do you have a PDP, and how did you set proper (SMART) goals for your mind + emotions
2. How do you deal with this information-overload.

[NoSelfSelf]

Now ask yourself how would all that look like in real world?

[Forestluv]

@Baldmunt This looks like a great personal development framework. 

One thing I find helpful is to find a balance between having specific, measurable goals and flexibility. If I become to rigid on goals I lose the underlying passion, it then becomes “to do list work” and I may burn out and lise interest.

For example, I was super excited to train for a marathon and qualify for the Boston Marathon. I reasearched lots  of training plans and assembled a detailed training plan. I extended this to include a specific diet and sleep schedule. I made a 100% commitment to never miss a day. In the past, missing a day led to missing two days etc. 

Yet, this training plan was way to rigid and sucked all the fun out of running. I was constantly putting pressure on myself to meet short-term goals. I forced myself to run when it was raining or when I had mild injuries and my body was telling me to slow down. I became so focused on pace and times that my running buddies didn’t enjoy running with me so much. On race day, the weather was rainy / windy and I finished 20min slower than my goal time and failed to qualify. I beat myself up for a while and had no desire to run again.

A month later, I realized all the underlying juice and passion was sucked out. What I really wanted was to get healthy, run solo and with friends. So I totally changed my approach. I would only run 4 days a week to allow flexibility. When the weather was bad or I had aches and pains, I could go to the gym and lift or swim. I started cycling. I met new oeople and started doing triathlons. I focused more on experience than times. I started trail running and listened to spiritual speakers, like Adyashanti, while I ran. 

So having some structure, goals and discipline is important. Yet it’s the underlying passion that is the fuel juice. Create a plan that nurtures that passion or life will become bland and going through the motions. The journey and destination go hand in hand. Focusing too much on the destination will leave a person missing out in the beautiful journey. And sometimes the true destination is not what we had imagined. 

[Baldmunt]

2 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

@Baldmunt This looks like a great personal development framework. 

One thing I find helpful is to find a balance between having specific, measurable goals and flexibility. If I become to rigid on goals I lose the underlying passion, it then becomes “to do list work” and I may burn out and lise interest.

For example, I was super excited to train for a marathon and qualify for the Boston Marathon. I reasearched lots  of training plans and assembled a detailed training plan. I extended this to include a specific diet and sleep schedule. I made a 100% commitment to never miss a day. In the past, missing a day led to missing two days etc. 

Yet, this training plan was way to rigid and sucked all the fun out of running. I was constantly putting pressure on myself to meet short-term goals. I forced myself to run when it was raining or when I had mild injuries and my body was telling me to slow down. I became so focused on pace and times that my running buddies didn’t enjoy running with me so much. On race day, the weather was rainy / windy and I finished 20min slower than my goal time and failed to qualify. I beat myself up for a while and had no desire to run again.

A month later, I realized all the underlying juice and passion was sucked out. What I really wanted was to get healthy, run solo and with friends. So I totally changed my approach. I would only run 4 days a week to allow flexibility. When the weather was bad or I had aches and pains, I could go to the gym and lift or swim. I started cycling. I met new oeople and started doing triathlons. I focused more on experience than times. I started trail running and listened to spiritual speakers, like Adyashanti, while I ran. 

So having some structure, goals and discipline is important. Yet it’s the underlying passion that is the fuel juice. Create a plan that nurtures that passion or life will become bland and going through the motions. The journey and destination go hand in hand. Focusing too much on the destination will leave a person missing out in the beautiful journey. And sometimes the true destination is not what we had imagined. 

Hey, great example man! Thanks for sharing. 

You are right, i think it's important to give yourself some space in achieving your goals. It's finding that balance between action and 'lazyness'. I remember leo said in one of his video's is that, when your doing self-actualizing/personal development-work you need to prepare for some negotiation with your mind.  Just bulking through will exhaust you and make you quit easier. 

For me it's about finding that sweet balance.  My Personal-Development plan will be a blueprint, a direction in which i want to go. I allow myself to sometimes go of that path but in basics i want to reach some goals

At the moment i'm just wandering around on different subjects on psychology. I have no goals so i'm reading and listening passively. All the information i forget easy so i need some goals to really embrace, experience and act on the things i want to change. The problem is I really don't know where to start or where to go. I'm overwhelmed by information. Setting goals for your mind + emotions is really hard because i have no idea where to start and how long/how hard some things are to accomplish.