How to overcome negative beliefs about women?

[MM1988]

I have these beliefs that you have to treat women like they are beneath you to have a chance to be romantic with them.

I have the belief that if you are not sexual with a women all the time you will be seen as platonic and every chance of having sex with her closes down for you.

 

These beliefs depress me to no end because I just want to treat women like people and Im not the kind of guy who is super sexual all the time. But I feel like if I keep being like that I cant ever have a romantic relationship. My beliefs also seem to get confirmed by reality because all the sexually sucessful guys I know are like this.

[Arcangelo]

''I have these beliefs that you have to treat women like they are beneath you'' > I wish i had that belief. Because i believe they are above me. I put them in a pedestal.

 

[Salvijus]

33 minutes ago, MM1988 said:

I have these beliefs that you have to treat women like they are beneath you to have a chance to be romantic with them.

Just by bowing down to them is a great step towards becoming nonjudgemental and all inclusive and loving, it will replace all the domination and vanity qualities that you might have.

Bowing down will kill all your arrogance very fast. In short span of time your relationships with women be full of appreciation and respect and devotion.

It's not a sign of inferiority or weekness or smth. It's enourmos strenght. It's a powerful sage quality and presence that they carry ? "those who can't bend will brake in life" #sadhguru ?

It's sounds simple but it's extremly hard for arrogant men to bow down to women. 

If fact i would not stop there. I would bow down to every creature on this planet. Ant, worm, tree, sky, planet earth everything. It's a smart way to live. The sweetest way to live also. ???

 

Edited February 27, 2019 by Salvijus

[SgtPepper]

12 hours ago, MM1988 said:

I have these beliefs that you have to treat women like they are beneath you to have a chance to be romantic with them.

Is there substantial evidence for that belief? are you certain that all women like to be treated like they are beneath men? are you sure you have all the evidence and assumptions checked to support this belief? 

can it be the case that women want to be feminine, but have equal respect? 

 

Quote

I have the belief that if you are not sexual with a women all the time you will be seen as platonic and every chance of having sex with her closes down for you.

do you have good evidence supporting this belief? if so what is it?

[Markus]

@MM1988 Putting people down is simply an insecure person's attempt at confidence. It can work, but it's not genuine or mature. As for what you believe about women, try to put yourself in a woman's shoes for a bit. What would you want in a guy? Furthermore, even if we made the assumption your limiting belief about women is true, would you betray your integrity for the sake of romantic success?

[Aeris]

girls are goddess.

Nothing behind or above me though. Equality

[Emerald]

On 2/27/2019 at 2:06 PM, MM1988 said:

I have these beliefs that you have to treat women like they are beneath you to have a chance to be romantic with them.

I have the belief that if you are not sexual with a women all the time you will be seen as platonic and every chance of having sex with her closes down for you.

 

These beliefs depress me to no end because I just want to treat women like people and Im not the kind of guy who is super sexual all the time. But I feel like if I keep being like that I cant ever have a romantic relationship. My beliefs also seem to get confirmed by reality because all the sexually sucessful guys I know are like this.

This is not true but I can see how the truth could be distorted to look like this from the outside.

Women don't like to be below men in value and don't like to be treated as lesser. And if women are treated this way, she'll lock up and go into masculine mode and come at the man who suggests this swinging, if she has healthy boundaries.

However, women do tend to like to take the receptive role in relationships and generally like to be feminine in relation to a masculine guy. It's just that society frames femininity as lesser than masculinity, so it looks like women want to be beneath men because there is an implicit assumption that to be feminine is lesser. But it's really just a different orientation to life and relationships that is more free-flowing and receptive. And it's fun to be lead by a man in many situations, as there is something romantic about it and it puts most women in a very soft and melty state that feels really good. But this is the case, if and only if they feel safe with that man and trust that he won't abuse his power. Otherwise, there is no capacity to be in that softened state and women have to harden themselves and be in the masculine to fight against the man that abuses his power and treats her as lesser.

So, an imbalanced relationship relative to value and power, makes it to where women can't be fulfilled. So, your impression is the exact opposite of what women generally want... which can be summed up in the four masculine archetypes... King, Warrior, Magician, Lover.

And relative to King and Warrior, there is an attraction to men who can be protectors. And being a protector implies the ability to lead and be aggressive and do violence if there is a threat. The problem comes when he instead uses that capacity to lead and be aggressive to harm the woman instead of protect her due to his lack of self control and lack of emotional integration and mastery. So, an attractive man is like a lion tamer with a lion. The more aggressive the lion is and the more self control the man has, the more attractive he will be as a partner because he has the capacity for aggression plus high levels of self-control and emotional mastery. A man with a weak lion is not attractive because his lion tamer has nothing to tame. A man with an unskillful lion tamer is not attractive because his lion won't obey him and it will wreak havoc on the lives of his romantic partners. The problem is when women can't tell that the man's lion tamer has no control over the lion.

So, at once, I recognize why you would be under this impression that women like to be beneath men. But I also see how your lens distorts this pattern and makes it about a dominance/submission relationship between men and women instead of about a communicative/receptive relationship between men and women.

Also, men who are always sexual with women and wearing their sexuality on their sleeves is a clear indication of an unskilled lion tamer. So, this also is not attractive. It comes off more as desperate and creepy. 

But a man whose sexuality subtly glimmers out through his platonic ways, is a very fetching man because it shows that his lion his fierce and that his lion tamer is highly skilled and has a lot of control over the lion. Tame lions are very fun to play with. Untamed lions are not.

[Nahm]

On 2/27/2019 at 2:06 PM, MM1988 said:

I have these beliefs that you have to treat women like they are beneath you to have a chance to be romantic with them.

I have the belief that if you are not sexual with a women all the time you will be seen as platonic and every chance of having sex with her closes down for you.

 

These beliefs depress me to no end because I just want to treat women like people and Im not the kind of guy who is super sexual all the time. But I feel like if I keep being like that I cant ever have a romantic relationship. My beliefs also seem to get confirmed by reality because all the sexually sucessful guys I know are like this.

Try to make the distinction between sexually relating to woman, and non-sexually relating to woman. 

And trust me on this, the woman you start seeing because she was attracted to being treated as “beneath you” - that’s gonna be a big big headache for you. She’s better off addressing her self esteem solo first. Codependency always sneaks in, never announces itself.  

[JohnnyBravo]

Please understand when you say WOMEN that there are 3 billion women on the planet.

Different types.

Different shapes.

Different likes and beliefs.

Different ideas they have abour men and their gender.

Which women are you referring to? The women in your life? Ok which women in your life? Oh the girl with that arrogant guy? ok WHICH girl?

......Analyse her and her issues. Analyse the guy and his issues.

Is that the kind of woman you seek? 

Men and women shouldnt box each other into shallow holes and say this applies to every man/woman.