How do you stop anticipating and enjoy the moment?

[DeannaDevil]

Lately I've been feeling like an imposter of a human being, trying to feel and do as people do, yet I find myself unable to feel anything deeply. I figured this is  because my life has become too mundane, so I decided last night I would do something stimulating and go to a rock concert. I was not excited, because I had already predicted in my head how it would be, how I would feel, what I would see, but I told myself to just do it and to be spontaneous. I don't even enjoy music  particularly anymore, but I wanted to expreience the energy.

I tried to go with the flow, but everything felt forced and awkward, I just felt like being still the whole time. I sat in the bleachers envying the people in the mosh pit, but knew if I were there I wouldn't be having as much fun as them. This is how my entire life feels to me, like I lack a certain inspiration from life that other people possess. Nothing feels "magical" to me.

I've also made plans to travel, though now it seems it's more for the purpose of escaping my ennui because I somehow believe throwing myself into the unknown is bound to yield something novel and unexpected. Yet, life seems the same no matter where I go. The people and buildings and trees all look a little bit different, the food tastes different, but it's all pretty much the same. 

I'm finding that reality either disappoints me even when I have faith that it will be better than I expect, or when I don't really know what to expect, or that  reality matches my expectations and it just feels too orchestrated and predictable. 

[DrewNows]

I think you’re caught up in your headspace, something you can meditate on. Don’t you remember the days as a kid when you felt so free without a worry in the world? what has changed...is it possible to ground yourself in the moment? To let go and surrender to being

[okulele]

@DeannaDevil Hey, a little exercise for you. Look around your room (and life) for 5 minutes and find the things that you can be grateful for. Feels better?

[Forestluv]

@DeannaDevil The human mind gets conditioned to distraction and wanting some thing not here and now. It can take a while to de-condition that tendency.

Watching a butterfly dance through the air and pollinate flowers is absolutely fascinating. It is so unbelievably beautiful and mind-blowing. Why don't most mind-body's notice this? Perhaps because they are distracted, or worrying, or thinking about how something is not enough or how they want some thing. With this orientation, the mind-body will miss out on the magnificence of life that is right in front of us. Here and Now.

 

[Hellspeed]

By dying. The old you i mean.

[Joseph Maynor]

 

 

Edited February 26, 2019 by Joseph Maynor

[ivory]

Have you always felt this way? What are some of the judgements you hold for people, self, and life? It can also help to examine conflicting values and desires.

[PretentiousHuman]

We have similar issue@DeannaDevil. I always wanted to work at UK or USA as a Nurse. But wanting those dreams had me become neurotic like if i had never met that goal what would i become? I havent continously enjoyed the now. But with meditation, exercise and work, i was able to remove myself to the monkey mind i was imprisoned in.