Why Is It So Hard For Me To Articulate My Thoughts?

[The Don]

Hello.

In the past few months I've been struggling to articulate my thoughts clearly. Even now, when I'm writing this topic, it seems hard for me to write down my own sentences with clarity.

I'm not trying to be a victim here. I just need some advice.

I read almost on a daily basis and I have a journal where I write every day. 

I've been doing this for a pretty long time (about 6 months) and it feels like I'm going nowhere.

And when I'm trying to learn new things, I take notes and I read them over and over with attention, but when I try to recall what I've learned, I feel blocked. I'm not able to recall well.

It's so frustrating and discouraging.

Maybe it has something to do with me? I was raised by a very abusive father. I wasn't good in school. I have social anxiety. My psychology is a little bit negative but I'm working on it by using meditation daily and it helps.

When I'm watching @Leo Gura's videos I'm getting a mindfuck. I'm not able to comprehend how is he able to be so articulate; or how is he able to retain so much information?

I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm feeling stuck in my own head. I have so many things to say but I can't articulate them.

Do I have a learning-memory problem?

[Salvijus]

You have a bad connection with your emotions. 

Or in other words you need to raise your awareness with mindfulness meditation. Then your mental clarity will improve. You will understand your feelings  and situations much  better thus youll have more to say about it. That's step towards what you seek.

Then you need to bring coherence between your left and right brains with yoga or kriya. That's second step. This will improve how effectively you use the data in your brains.

Then you need to break free from all the blocks in your mind.. it's major cause of social anxiety and overthinking stuff. For this there are methods also to do it. That's step three.

With these 3steps you could talk like a sage. Just see sadhguru talks. Nonstop for hours he can talk without any preparation. Just like a fountain.

Edited February 24, 2019 by Salvijus

[The Don]

5 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

You have a bad connection with your emotions. 

Thank you for your answer.

This is what I've found here:

According to Dr. Kerry Spackman: “If you are deprived of love and affection as a child then key areas of your brain which are responsible for your personality don’t get wired up correctly….We know this because brain scans of people who have been emotionally deprived of love and affection show that connections between their rational frontal lobes and their emotional circuits don’t work correctly. These emotional/logical connections can remain incorrectly wired up throughout your adult life if you’ve had a very traumatic childhood.”

So I need to work hard on myself, to rewire my brain.

Can meditation be a cure for my psychological problems?

Can I use psychedelics to fix my rational frontal lobe and my emotional circuits?

I'm a very neurotic person.

[Sahil Pandit]

@The Don Take more time to just Be, unwire your neuroticism as best as you can. Really get to the root of it! 

[The Don]

Just now, Sahil Pandit said:

Take more time to just Be, unwire your neuroticism as best as you can. Really get to the root of it! 

I don't know how to get to the bottom of my neuroticism.

Some people recommend psychedelics; others meditation.

I've been meditating for about 11 months now. Every single day for 30 minutes. But it seems it's still there.

It's so frustrating.

[Sahil Pandit]

@The Don Rewatch Leo's video about Neuroticism. 

Also, have you read Maslow's, "Toward a Psychology of Being?" 

[The Don]

2 minutes ago, Sahil Pandit said:

@The Don Rewatch Leo's video about Neuroticism. 

Also, have you read Maslow's, "Toward a Psychology of Being?" 

I did watch Loe's video about neuroticism. I watched it two times.

But there's no info about curing neuroticism. It's just an overview about neuroticism, to recognize neuroticism.

And about that book, no. I didn't read it.

Maybe contemplation will work; writing down my thoughts about neuroticism, to identify the problem.

Edited February 24, 2019 by The Don

[Sahil Pandit]

@The Don It's a tricky emotion my dude, i struggle with it still at times.

Are you mindful when it happens? What are the thoughts associated with you being neurotic?

What are you identified as when you are neurotic? I think this would be a good starting place followed by Kriya.

[The Don]

5 minutes ago, Sahil Pandit said:

@The Don It's a tricky emotion my dude, i struggle with it still at times.

Are you mindful when it happens? What are the thoughts associated with you being neurotic?

What are you identified as when you are neurotic? I think this would be a good starting place followed by Kriya.

Yes, sometimes I'm mindful but it doesn't help. I keep saying to myself that I'm neurotic and I shouldn't be.

As to identifying my neuroticism, my social anxiety for example.

Or when I'm thinking about sex; I have an aversion to sex and intimacy. At 26, I'm still a virgin. I've never had a real relationship.

I'm ashamed to go at the bathroom when I'm working; I don't want my colleagues around me. Especially girls.

Or sometimes I imagine being in a relationship, living with a girl, but being ashamed to live with her from the standpoint of being naked in front of her or using the bathroom.

Things like that. It's so awful man.

 

Edited February 24, 2019 by The Don

[Sahil Pandit]

@The Don Ok, so it sounds like it's a deeper rooted issue. 

Some type of trauma from a younger age.

I'm no expert in this, so i can hope someone can step in and help you, using first hand advice.

[The Don]

1 minute ago, Sahil Pandit said:

@The Don Ok, so it sounds like it's a deeper rooted issue. 

Some type of trauma from a younger age.

I'm no expert in this, so i can hope someone can step in and help you, using first hand advice.

Yes. And I don't feel OK in social situations.

[Salvijus]

1 hour ago, The Don said:

Can meditation be a cure for my psychological problems?

Can I use psychedelics to fix my rational frontal lobe and my emotional circuits?

I'm a very neurotic person.

Meditation is a cure for everything

Psychedelics do not enchance mental capabilities. It only destroys the mind and its potential.

1 hour ago, The Don said:

I've been meditating for about 11 months now. Every single day for 30 minutes. But it seems it's still there.

What kind of meditation do you do? You need to do mindfulness meditation. Observe your thoughts and feelings type of meditation. Or self-enquiry, it also includes deep self-reflection which increases ones awareness in a great manner. That's first step. Most important actually.

Then there are other two.

 

[CuteCornDog]

I have a hard time motivating myself to say what I'm thinking out loud sometimes.

I'll think something and not have the energy to articulate it.

[The Don]

40 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

Meditation is a cure for everything

Psychedelics do not enchance mental capabilities. It only destroys the mind and its potential.

What kind of meditation do you do? You need to do mindfulness meditation. Observe your thoughts and feelings type of meditation. Or self-enquiry, it also includes deep self-reflection which increases ones awareness in a great manner. That's first step. Most important actually.

Then there are other two.

 

When I meditate I'm focusing on my breathing. 

I hope it helps.

I will try to be more mindful throughout the day.

Also, I will contemplate using a journal.