Strange enlightenment experience makes me panic - need your advice

[Mezanti]

So i sat today for 4 hours contemplating what i was, i came to the conclusion that i was a specific part of the brain, that could generate thoughts, then i came to the concluesion that i was a thought, I slowly started falling asleep and as that was happening i started to feel bursts of strong tension in my body in the rythem of a heart beat, it was on and off and on and off, i became conscious of it and then was knocked into a dream state where i started to see weird visuals of eyes looking at me, and then they would fade away and then rebirth into new eyes and then the last pair of eyes where my own, and then they also faded away, i felt very scared, but was conscious and my body was tensed, i remember feeling the vast size of the universe, and then slowly waking up.

I remember telling myself to surrender, and that i love god, but god was silent and cold.

what i took away from this is that spirituality needs to happen with more heart and love, instead of analyzing it heartlessly.

what are your thoughts? Have you experienced something similar? Where do i go from here? 

[Salvijus]

It's nothing. Forget about it. Just you amusing yourself.

Watch first 2min. It's perfect for you.

 

Edited February 24, 2019 by Salvijus

[Hellspeed]

The more dramatic the experience the more advance you get the next day. Just don't focus on how dramatic it was.

Is like this, when you let go of the old, it hurts at any level and next arises something like an amnesia, so don't cling to the old.

[Nahm]

@Mezanti 

The eyes thing is a reoccurring theme. I believe it’s the mental construct not yet able to surrender, so ‘it’ try’s to make sense of what can’t be made sense of. Essentially, it is the product of repeating patterns of thought, not jiving with the introduction of potentiality or, non-pattern non repetition.

Consider using a pen and paper, you might be surprised at what comes when you inquire that way, and it seems like there are some unresolved emotions which can be released, by being expressed. In writing, emotions are released, and because you are writing, and seeing what you’re writing, cognition is involved, and upon release, there are satisfying understands. 

The on off on off you mentioned, is often referred to as “the waves” when tripping. “The waves” are like the static inbetween two radio stations, as you move from thinking to awareness, and awareness to being / nondual. Sounds like your ‘waves’ experienced were where thought patterns meet awareness, / uncertainty meets certainty,  / repetition meets potentiality. Substances kind of “force” past this point. As it was not pleasant for you, the answer would be again, expressing the emotions, so that there is less unresolved activity within your body, and can be more surrender. Awareness of deep, relaxed, stomach breathing, all day, can really help with awareness of thought patterns.