The Pick Up Diary

[flowboy]

Great to see you pushing forward like that man!

On 4/17/2019 at 4:22 AM, Arcangelo said:

Arc: -''What do you think of casual sex?'' (Matthew McConaughey line)

Throw that line out. Getting a girl to verbally agree to have casual sex is like getting your cat to give paw and go fetch. Most of 'em won't do that shit, doesn't mean you can't pet them

Edit: as a learning experiment it may be valuable and/or fun though. Everything must be field-tested

Edited April 23, 2019 by flowboy

[Arcangelo]

''I see a chronic problem on this sub-forum, which is young males who complain about lack of success with women and failing to take responsibility for their situation.

The #1 rule of all growth and personal development is taking 100% responsibility for your situation. I know how hard that can be when you're struggling with women/sex. It feels very much like life is treating you unfairly and that it's the women's fault. Let me tell you right now: this is a total ILLUSION! It's not the women. It's not society. It's not post-modernists. It's not the Marxists. It's not the feminists. It's YOU!

This is not me blaming you. This is simply how all personal development works. Whatever problem you have in life you must begin by getting honest with yourself how you created it. Sometimes this is difficult to accept. It's much easier to blame someone else, or even blame yourself (for being too ugly or too short or too introverted). I am not suggesting you blame yourself. Rather, take ownership of the fact that you are the creator of your life. Whatever is missing in your life, you can correct, but only if you stop blaming yourself and others.

Be very mindful of how your ego-mind creates narratives which justify your sense of lack, brokenness, or inability to attract women. All of these narratives, justification, rationalizations, logic, "facts", scientific studies, proofs, etc are sneakily fabricated by your own mind! Your own mind is the enemy! Watch it like a hawk. Your mind will try to come up with reasons and excuses for why your life is unfair and how success with women is impossible. This is all horseshit! Do not believe your own mind here. Your mind is clouded by fear, insecurity, and neediness. That is totally normal and understandable, but you cannot resolve your problems from such a place. From such a place your problems will get worse as you start to blame the world and solidify your victim worldview with cherry-picked evidence, "science", and "logic". Be extra suspicious of "logic" and "science" here. There is nothing logical or scientific about your victim attitude or lack of success with women. It's purely about meeting the survival needs of your ego. Sex is a very powerful survival need which will drive your mind towards all manner of mental gymnastics to ensure that you get it, or at least feel better for not getting it.

There's good news and bad news. The good news is: Your looks are NOT the problem! The bad news is: your personality, attitude, and mindset are terrible! The good news is, it's possible to change that. The bad news is, it won't be easy and you will resist it like the devil that you are.

So what's the solution? Take ownership of your problem and commit to resolving it. For this you need faith and confidence in your ability to self-actualize. You must have enough hope and vision to see yourself get much better with attracting women. This is NOT a pipe dream or fuzzy thinking. The reality is that any man can become 100x better at attracting women if he really takes ownership of the matter. Yes, it takes serious work. But it's also highly worth it. Imagine that within 3 years you're able to attract pretty women and feel confident about yourself when it comes to dating. Isn't that worth the effort? It sure is. This is not a fantasy. I've done it, many men have done it, and so can you! Your looks are NOT the bottleneck, your mindset is.

So what do you do after you've established this vision? You must do lots of research to educate yourself about how dating actually work (not how you think it works). Find videos, find books, buy online courses, hire a coach, take a bootcamp, take a workshop, etc. There are literally hundreds of excellent resources available online these days. Most of them are legit, not scams. Study them hard and then get into the field. Start talking to women. Start approaching women. Start flirting with women. Start being much more social.

If you struggle attracting women I can tell you right now what your top problems are. It's not lack of money, looks, muscles, car, height, or dick size. Remember, attraction and dating is EXTREMELY counter-intuitive. It's works exactly the opposite of how you initially think.

Your top problems are:

You live in your mancave and never go out! You must go out into social spaces where real women hang out.

You spend WAY too much time online, indoors

You spend WAY too much time on Youtube, Netflix, and playing video games

You work too much

You are never around cute single women

You never start conversations with strangers

You have terrible body language due to lack of experience

You are not comfortable doing small-talk and being emotional and random in conversations

You are far too logical

You approach zero women on a regular basis

You are terrified of approaching a women who you find attractive, talking yourself out of every approach

You have terrible eye contact, you don't smile, and you don't project your voice properly

You are crippled by fear and tongue-tied

You are unable to start and sustain an interesting conversation with a human being

You are disconnected from your body, your heart, your feelings, your emotions

You have terrible self-image issues. You hate yourself, you hate how you look, you judge yourself way too harshly. You judge yourself just as harshly as you judge women.

You have a bad sense of dress style and you don't groom yourself well

You have no experience with physically touching women in a non-creepy way. You don't know how to rapidly physically escalate on a women without creeping her out.

You don't know how women think or what they truly value in a man

You don't know how to flirt and be authentic

You are trying to be masculine in all the wrong ways -- fake masculinity

You are needy, needy, needy

You are terribly inexperienced

You have no sense of passion or purpose in life, which robs you of confidence and masculine vitality

Your attitude sucks: you whine, complain, bitch, moan, blame, and are so negative

You think you understand life, reality, and how attraction works -- you don't!

So work on fixing all of that before you go blaming women. All of the above can be deliberately worked on and fixed.

You need to learn how to be a real man. Being a real man has nothing to do with big muscles, big dick, or a fast car. A real man is grounded on the INSIDE. It's ALL about inner game! You need to cultivate that confidence. It doesn't come naturally. You must build it!

80% of getting good with women is just actually being much more social. You need to deliberately re-structure your life so that you're automatically being more social. So that you're going out every weekend. So that you're bumping into new people constantly. So that you're making new friends all the time. This kind of re-structuring is very doable. You just have to be willing to change your lifestyle.

And stop watching or listening to any of the following:

Jordan Peterson, MGTOW, RedPill, Incel material/forums/reddit

All of that is cancer of the mind. It's reinforcing your victim mindset and robbing you of your ability to change yourself.

I've been where you are. I know it's tough. But hang in there, hold your vision, have hope, get to work, and things will dramatically improve for you. You will become a new person by the end of this journey and you will be so proud of yourself. You will become a real man, not some whiny JP fanboy.

The #1 thing a real man does is take 100% responsibility for all his problems. A real man NEVER blames anyone, and certainly not women or feminism. A real man is a feminist. A real man fearlessly works on himself.

So start right there! Start by fixing that.''  -Leo Gura

[Arcangelo]

Yeah i needed that in here.

@flowboy  Yeah i asked as she was walking away from me just to see her reaction.

 

Here's what's up now. I have a neighbor, let's call her Carolina I like her very much. One day i told her casually to play chess with me sometime.  One day she was doing the laundry.

Arc: -''Hey about that chess game....''

Car: -''Right now i am doing some things, maybe some other day?''

Arc: -''OK''

So today i got a nice haircut, put on my best clothes, sprayed some Cool Water cologne, grabbed some green tea bags, and my chess board, and knocked on her door.

Arc: -''Hi, you wanna play?''

Car (on the phone talking to her girlfriend): -''Right now i am talking to my girlfriend, I am about to go out with her, maybe some other day''

Arc: -''OK''

It will be good to mention that she is super nice, she is always smiling, at least when we talk.

They say it's not rejection until you take it as rejection. And Leo says to keep pushing until she gives me a hard no (or a sweet yes).

I am knocking on that door tomorrow again. Some things you just gotta persist. I want to persevere. I am a persistent person.

What do you guys think?

[Arcangelo]

@SFRL  what do you think?

[flowboy]

@Arcangelo Look at the balance of investment here:

Her: not invested at all.

• She hasn't even properly said yes to a chess game, only a polite "maybe some other time". That's not a yes. That's a polite "no, but thanks".
• She hasn't even blocked a time on her schedule for you. There is no date
• She won't even HANG UP THE PHONE for you. If I spontaneously show up, I expect my girls to at least let me in for a bit and make me tea, even though they have plans soon

You: overinvested at this point.

• You brought a bunch of stuff all the way to her door, just to be "spontaneous". But this cost you time and effort, and she can see that.
• She brushed you off and you're willing to double down and come back with more chess.
• I bet you would hang up the phone with your buddy if she'd show up

See how fucked this is? The balance needs to be much more the other way. This is just how human relationships work, also friendships not just girls.

The fact that you're giving your time and energy away without any commitment from her, shows that you're desperate, because making all this effort for a person who said "maybe some other time" once, is apparently the best way to spend your time. This conveys to her that your time is not valuable, because you don't value it. So why would she waste hers?

Some people just smile a lot. It's a defence mechanism, not an indicator of interest. Is she touching you when you talk to her? Look for real IOI's, like that.

My guess is that this is dead now because of the spontaneous showing up with chess and tea fiasco.

Next time you meet a girl, make her invest! Have her bring the chessboard, the wine, the tea, the anything. This will make her much more comfortable, because it shows that you value yourself.

Edited May 23, 2019 by flowboy

[universe]

You are a bit too direct. Do some small talk first. Laugh and have fun.

This way you can already see if she has time or not right now.

If she is in a rush, you can calibrate. Whish her a nice day and leave.

If she has time for small talk, maybe around 5 minutes, and doesnt seem to be in a rush. THEN you can ask her.

 

Also if you are making plans for future dates, suggest one or two days (maybe Friday afternoon and Wednesday evening). If she declines and doesnt suggest any other day its a good sign that you are wasting your time.

[Arcangelo]

Thanks for the replies!

@flowboy

Yeah, that's what my buddy said the first time i asked. And then I asked 2 times more LOL!

Bud: -''Dude that's how girls are, she is just saying no politely.''

My buddy is a great example of how all you need is a good inner psychology to have success with women. I have a LOT to learn from him.

 

@universe  Those are some excellent pieces of advice. I'll keep the faith, and do exactly what you suggested. And not only with her, with every girl that i meet from now on.

 

 

 

[Arcangelo]

Hi guys I am back! I have seen that a lot of you guys get triggered by pick up and redpill knowledge. I think that's only because you are probably too developed or way more developed than me. But at my level of development i find Redpill knowledge invaluable. Just like I find Actualized.org to be invaluable.

Redpill and pick up is self improvement for beginners

Having that said let's get to tonight's stories.

 

I asked Caroline to go to starsbucks with me .

Arc: ''Hey would you like to go to starsbucks with me?''

Car: -''Sure but not today because bla bla bla''

Arc: -''OK we will figure out the details later.''

Car: -''OK'' 

My logic for asking her out is that maybe she thought that playing chess was too child like. I know, self deception runs deep in my system.

So 2 days later i come bye knocking on her door (again) it was a Saturday.

Arc: -''Wanna go to starsbucks tonight?''

Car: -''I can't bla bla bla''

Arc: -''And what about this friday''

Car: -''I might have some work to do on friday but i will let you know.''

We exchanged phone numbers.

Arc: -''OK see you friday, hopefully''

OFC we didn't go out.

The dating coach says that some women do play hard to get, that some women are juggling other dudes, and have other dudes on stand bye.

So i waited like a month and asked her out again.

Arc: -''Hey I was wondering if maybe you are free to go to starsbucks this weekend?''

Car: -''Well I have friend coming over on saturday but i think i can do sunday''

Arc: -''OK, you will let me know right?''

Car: -''Yes''

Sunday comes.

It's sunday morning. The day before i have been cleaning my apartment and washing my sheets. You know acting as if.

Arc: -''Wanna go at 5?''

Car: -Oh i got work to do IDK if i will be finished by 5''

Arc: -''Oh if you want we can go some other day. I don't want you to be all rushed up doing your work''

Car: -''I will let you know''

According to my dating coach, if a woman says yes to an invite but then starts this i will let you know bullshit it means that she does has an interest in you, but that interest is not high enough. The way i see it is: WTF she doesn't say something like: -''Oh i can't i have a boyfriend'' that's the easiest way to get rid of a man. She is lying anyway.

''Sure, I will let you know.'' Translation: -''No fucking way dude. Piss off.''

So that's it for Car, she is not that hot anyway. she is like a 7.5

Sidewalk day game

I went to the supermarket today and i saw a sexy 6 on the way back. I can not approach at the supermarket because there have been complaints about me being a sexual haraser. If I approach girls at the supermarket they will ban me.

I have heard that one should approach to girls like they were an old friend you haven't seen in awhile. And that's the way I do it.

Arc -''Hi''

6: -''Who are you?''

She was trying to remember me.

Arc: -''My name is Arcangelo. What's your name.''

6: -''Do I know you?''

Arc: -''We are knowing each other right now.''

She just started walking away from me.

See you next time!

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

37 minutes ago, Arcangelo said:

Hi guys I am back! I have seen that a lot of you guys get triggered by pick up and redpill knowledge. I think that's only because you are probably too developed or way more developed than me. But at my level of development i find Redpill knowledge invaluable. Just like I find Actualized.org to be invaluable.

Redpill and pick up is self improvement for beginners

Having that said let's get to tonight's stories.

 

I asked Caroline to go to starsbucks with me .

Arc: ''Hey would you like to go to starsbucks with me?''

Car: -''Sure but not today because bla bla bla''

Arc: -''OK we will figure out the details later.''

Car: -''OK'' 

My logic for asking her out is that maybe she thought that playing chess was too child like. I know, self deception runs deep in my system.

So 2 days later i come bye knocking on her door (again) it was a Saturday.

Arc: -''Wanna go to starsbucks tonight?''

Car: -''I can't bla bla bla''

Arc: -''And what about this friday''

Car: -''I might have some work to do on friday but i will let you know.''

We exchanged phone numbers.

Arc: -''OK see you friday, hopefully''

OFC we didn't go out.

The dating coach says that some women do play hard to get, that some women are juggling other dudes, and have other dudes on stand bye.

So i waited like a month and asked her out again.

Arc: -''Hey I was wondering if maybe you are free to go to starsbucks this weekend?''

Car: -''Well I have friend coming over on saturday but i think i can do sunday''

Arc: -''OK, you will let me know right?''

Car: -''Yes''

Sunday comes.

It's sunday morning. The day before i have been cleaning my apartment and washing my sheets. You know acting as if.

Arc: -''Wanna go at 5?''

Car: -Oh i got work to do IDK if i will be finished by 5''

Arc: -''Oh if you want we can go some other day. I don't want you to be all rushed up doing your work''

Car: -''I will let you know''

According to my dating coach, if a woman says yes to an invite but then starts this i will let you know bullshit it means that she does has an interest in you, but that interest is not high enough. The way i see it is: WTF she doesn't say something like: -''Oh i can't i have a boyfriend'' that's the easiest way to get rid of a man. She is lying anyway.

''Sure, I will let you know.'' Translation: -''No fucking way dude. Piss off.''

So that's it for Car, she is not that hot anyway. she is like a 7.5

Sidewalk day game

I went to the supermarket today and i saw a sexy 6 on the way back. I can not approach at the supermarket because there have been complaints about me being a sexual haraser. If I approach girls at the supermarket they will ban me.

I have heard that one should approach to girls like they were an old friend you haven't seen in awhile. And that's the way I do it.

Arc -''Hi''

6: -''Who are you?''

She was trying to remember me.

Arc: -''My name is Arcangelo. What's your name.''

6: -''Do I know you?''

Arc: -''We are knowing each other right now.''

She just started walking away from me.

See you next time!

 

 

 

Hiya Arc

Don't get offended. Why are you constantly asking them out to go to Starbucks.   maybe they like you but it could be they are bored of going to Starbucks you know, maybe they went to Starbucks and had the same coffee 100s of times with other men before. Try to up the ante. 

Ask them out to an expensive upscale downtown restaurant and maybe who knows they might be lured to try out a new place they have never been to. A nice fancy restaurant in the middle of the city! 

Also which miss universe likes to go to Starbucks on her first special date. 

 

[Arcangelo]

Well i have talked to her and she says she drinks 5 cups of (cheap) coffee a day. A girl like that must love some free starbucks coffee right?

I ask them to go to starsbucks because the dating coach says that in the first date you gotta keep your investment low. If she wants to go out again then i will take her to a nice italian restaurant.

I am not cheap, but i know i will not get past the first date with some of these girls. So, there...

[Preety_India]

You must be Italian then, just my guess. 

I love Italian food. 

[Arcangelo]

Hi, today i talked to a girl that i liked. I was going to the supermarket and outside of it was a fake blonde with tattoos. She was having trouble opening a water bottle and before i offer to help:

Her: -''Hey could you open this for me?''

Me: -''OFC, here it wasn't that tight''

Her: -''Yeah I know but my shoulder hurts, I fell in the bathroom yesterday''

Me: -''Oh really''

Her phone rings and starts talking to someone

Her (while on the phone): -''Thanks young man!''

and walks away

Me -''You are welcome.''

 

From now on I am not gonna label these girls with numbers. It is immature and prolly a little offensive for the women that are reading.

So from now on: 7, 7.5 and 8 = Girl that i liked.

9 and 10 = Girl that i really liked.

This interaction was cool because she didn't reject me, and she called me a young man. I told you guys that i look younger than my age. She didn't have the chance to reject me. Who knows she prolly knew where the interaction was going and pretended to receive a phone call, who knows...

 

See you next time!

 

 

 

Arc

 

[Arcangelo]

Today I said hi to a girl on my way to the supermarket, she said hi but kept walking.

[Raptorsin7]

Why are you so into pick up arc?

[Arcangelo]

1 hour ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Why are you so into pick up arc?

Because I don't have a girlfriend.

Because I don't have a social circle.

Because I don't like dating apps.

Because I am too lazy to study something like nutrition, and do pick up/meet someone at school.

Because I am too lazy to get into hobbies that girls like, like: yoga, Pilates, art classes, acting lessons, go to cool seminars/events, etc.

Because it makes me feel alive. Every rejection is like doing a push up. You can not pay anyone to do your push ups for you

 

[Raptorsin7]

@Arcangelo Do you enjoy the process? I honestly think there are better more efficient and healthier ways to feel alive rather than doing pickup. But if you feel it is helping then I can't say otherwise.

[assx95]

Hey @Arcangelo I have one question in context to this : 

7 minutes ago, Arcangelo said:

Because I don't have a girlfriend.

Because I don't have a social circle.

Because I don't like dating apps.

Because I am too lazy to study something like nutrition, and do pick up/meet someone at school.

Because I am too lazy to get into hobbies that girls like, like: yoga, Pilates, art classes, acting lessons, go to cool seminars/events, etc.

Because it makes me feel alive. Every rejection is like doing a push up. You can not pay anyone to do your push ups for you

How often do you jerk off? And how strong is your sexual drive? 

[Arcangelo]

4 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@Arcangelo Do you enjoy the process? I honestly think there are better more efficient and healthier ways to feel alive rather than doing pickup. But if you feel it is helping then I can't say otherwise.

Yes i enjoy the process. It is a lot of fun, sometimes they blush, sometimes i blush, and sweat. Being aware of eye contact being aware of smiling.

Going from trying to have a silly excuse to talk to them to only say: -''Hi'' and go from there.

Learning not to take it personally.

Improve my self esteem by talking to girls that are out of my league.

It is almost like being an actor, you kinda have your lines prepared.

At the end of most interactions my spirit feels uplifted.

Sometimes i go thinking: -''What if this is the lucky one who says yes?'' That feeling is great.

Brings me out of the comfort zone.

 

 

[Raptorsin7]

@Arcangelo Okay keep it up (:

[Proactive]

I think your doing great ?

Inspiring me 

Maybe one day i'll start approaching girls

 

Quote

I have heard that one should approach to girls like they were an old friend you haven't seen in awhile. And that's the way I do it.

I have no idea if this'll work in this context, but a little body language thing I was taught in my old job. When greeting them, nod upwards instead of a curt downwards nod will make you seem like somebody they know ?