How to be Single?

[PretentiousHuman]

My 4 years relationship ended last year. And since then, i wanted to be single as long as i can be because i want to work on my Spirituality and Self-Actualization. But i have the addiction of communicating to a woman through Messenger. And since my work place are almost all married, and i am already 30 years old, or at least in a relationship, they are actually pushing to have a gf. My challenge for me is, how could i be single while i am doing my spirituality works without needing any relationship at the moment and stop my addiction of finding another girl to be in a relationship with? Im meditating, running, going to gym, reading nursing textbooks, journaling. Any help or advice would be much appreciated. 

[ajasatya]

@PretentiousHuman be aware of the source of desires.

[PretentiousHuman]

@ajasatya Source of desires like sex, attention? Awareness is healing? Hehe

[ajasatya]

Just now, PretentiousHuman said:

@ajasatya Source of desires like sex, attention? Awareness is healing? Hehe

the same way that you can have a first hand experience of the sun rising in the morning, you need to have a first hand experience of the origin of desires. you gotta be aware of the mental phenomenon before it turns into emotions on the body.

[PretentiousHuman]

I see. Emotions get me sometimes, like if a memory of my ex gf pops up into my mind, my first reaction would be to feel sad, unease, wishing that i would have done aomething to save the relationship. So to fix or numb the pain, i would chat somebody to divert my attention to what cause the loneliness. Its a never ending cycle for months now.