How would you answer : "why do X, were gonna die anyways"

[Manjushri]

Its a common pattern of thought I see with depressed people. Sometimes I fall into this mode of thinking too.

I started this topic because I saw people on this forum building some secondary habits that would just crash if something external happened, if they had or wanted to move, etc. is it really important building the non-foundational habits? i mean "habits" as such are so damn complex for us to actually manipulate them. you can dissect your daily behaviour into the tiniest fragments and see that its all a habit. sit by the computer at your old house where you masturbated (but youre in that space for the first time in 5 years) boom the habit loop of wanks activates and you have a wank.

[Nahm]

@Manjushri

Do what you really want to - you’re just going to die anyways.  

Focus enough on what you want to be doing, and a new & different light will shine on those ‘habits’. You might love them, like your first bike. 

Today, write down one thing you want to be doing daily. Maybe meditation, maybe learning something, maybe reading a book, maybe caring for yo. Today, just one step, just writing it down on a piece of paper, and write one sentence explaining why you want to start doing it. Tomorrow, just one step - just look at it and read it. If you feel like it, do it, otherwise, just read it. The next day - just read it, if you feel like it, do it. 

Eventually what you want to do will be in your wheelhouse, in closer proximity mentally, more familiar and not so foreign to you - and you’ll do it. 

The ‘old’ habits, they’ll reveal themselves as “filler”. Filler which you’ve been putting in a ‘self love’ sized hole. 

You get just a little taste of doing what you really want to be doing - and you’ll laugh about the habits. That they ever held you back will seem funny in a way. 

You’ll feel the pull of repetition, of habit, but it won’t be the same. You’ll feel something else arise with that ‘pulling’ - the knowing of the feeling good - from doing something you consciously wanted to do - and you’ll want to keep doing it. You’ll want to add a second thing to it, and eventually a third, etc. 

And the habits, the old ways, the pull - you’ll feel a certain sadness for them, along side a deeper inner joy, an appreciation for your new vantage point. 

And you’ll mourn a little, probably cry a little, as ‘that old me’ stops repeating, and dies off. And because you’re brave, and stronger, you’ll love it as it ‘dies off’. 

Then you’ll enjoy a little glimpse, if you will, a little insight, about, death. You might even think - “what did I ever know about death anyways”?! “For all I know, it could be the greatest thing ever!” Maybe....death is for living. 

Do what you really want to - you’re just going to “die” anyways.

 

[ajasatya]

1 hour ago, Manjushri said:

"why do X, were gonna die anyways"

why not do X if we're going to die anyways?

the goal of living happens NOW. it happens NOW! RIGHT NOW!

live NOW or NEVER.

[XYZ]

Pointing out that it is thinking in extremes, obsession with fear and worry about the future, focusing on limitations instead of possibilities. Much in the same way, someone trying to be motivational might ask "what would you be doing right now if you knew you were going to die tomorrow?"

I would respond with first asking: What are we actually doing right now, in this present moment? Then: Is this what we really want to be doing? If not then why not?

Certainly there is a world of possibilities in the middle between 'why bother, it's all meaningless, we're just going to die anyway,' and chasing unrealistic expectations of superstardom.

But these possibilities are often unknown-unknowns, so when someone feels limited by their environment, they make excuses why they can't do things and take up coping behaviours which don't align with what they actually want to be. Feeling bored with life is a result of being too lazy to be mindful, in my experience; wallowing in the comfort zone of passivity & habit even when you know it absolutely isn't what you want to be doing right then and there.

Edited February 25, 2019 by XYZ

[improvementedward]

Like others have said, what if you flipped that idea? What if instead of thinking "Why do x, we're just going to die anyways," you think "Why not do x, we're just going to die anyways?" There is a real freedom in that mentality, and I hope you're able to find peace and hopefulness on your path!

[Markus]

@Manjushri Everyone deep down wants to feel better rather than worse. Why would someone not do something they like, something that makes them feel good?

It's about a lack of faith in anything we attempt leading to something good. That is what's going on in depression, the inability to enjoy things we do, plus the inability to conceive of hopeful future, or a future in general.

[Andreas]

On ‎23‎.‎02‎.‎2019 at 1:08 AM, ajasatya said:

why not do X if we're going to die anyways?

Nice