Getting too high on weed and realizing What i want

[Freakrik]

I realized i Love my sober self and the material world. I realized as Long as i am in my ego form i cannot go to Hell because if am not dead i cannot get trapped in a Hell realm with infinite suffering. I realized i really want to go to belarus and meet beautiful women with great personalites. When i was on the back down i was lisening on "Take me Home country road". I thought of how much i am gonna Love the nature biketrips next summer. I realized how lucky i am to live this life. How much more present i was gonna be with the Things i Love. Until i die and have No Idea What is gonna happen or if i ever get to live in such a beautiful world ever again. I am not gonna take more drugs. I Don't think spirutuality Will bring me true happiness. 

Edit: i also realized i need to Move to a bigger city asap and start to get really Good at game. 

Edited February 22, 2019 by Freakrik

[Aaron p]

Ok, I'm just saying...whether you realise it or not, enlightenment is the only thing you desire. Js

[Freakrik]

2 minutes ago, Aaron p said:

Ok, I'm just saying...whether you realise it or not, enlightenment is the only thing you desire. Js

I got really high and i started to realize that i exist in consciousness. I did not like it. I mean it was cool But i wanted to go back. 

[Forestluv]

31 minutes ago, Freakrik said:

I got really high and i started to realize that i exist in consciousness. I did not like it. I mean it was cool But i wanted to go back. 

That is a common reaction. You may get called back or you may get drawn to personal desires. I would follow your true desires. I spent years pretending I was a “spiritual” character. People told ne to “fake it until I make it”. Yet my heart and true desire wasn’t really into it. Looking back it was kinda counter-productive. 

I would just be mindful not to hurt others. For example, I would refrain from misleading and/or manipulating women to satisfy sexual desires. The “Love Is a Battlefield” game takes a big toll on the mind-body.

[Aaron p]

9 minutes ago, Freakrik said:

I got really high and i started to realize that i exist in consciousness. I did not like it. I mean it was cool But i wanted to go back. 

@Freakrik beware the egos interpretation of enlightenment. By all means follow your heart, but I'm telling you...true enlightenment, is something else entirely. Just don't do drugs and it'll come at a much more manageable rate (prolonged however). Don't get punked...buttttt, don't go against your heart either. I think if you look deep in your heart you will know. And if you don't bullshit yourself.

 

Let the peace of God rule in your heart

[Freakrik]

29 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

That is a common reaction. You may get called back or you may get drawn to personal desires. I would follow your true desires. I spent years pretending I was a “spiritual” character. People told ne to “fake it until I make it”. Yet my heart and true desire wasn’t really into it. Looking back it was kinda counter-productive. 

I would just be mindful not to heart others. For example, I would refrain from misleading and/or manipulating women to satisfy sexual desires. 

With game my highest goal is that I want to connect with women that have chemestry with me. But in order do that i need to find them and learning to show them i am amazing guy. But it Also include meaningless one night stands. 

Edited February 23, 2019 by Freakrik

[Freakrik]

16 hours ago, Aaron p said:

@Freakrik beware the egos interpretation of enlightenment. By all means follow your heart, but I'm telling you...true enlightenment, is something else entirely. Just don't do drugs and it'll come at a much more manageable rate (prolonged however). Don't get punked...buttttt, don't go against your heart either. I think if you look deep in your heart you will know. And if you don't bullshit yourself.

 

Let the peace of God rule in your heart

Feels like this thing with enlightment is Fake happines. Like Taking a drug. You feel happy But deep down inside it Feels Fake. Or atleast that is my experience

[tecladocasio]

Do what you think is best for you . And learn with life , be open . 

[Aspiraling Wizard]

Everything you mention is ultimately the ego desperately fighting to maintain homeostasis. But you probably want to do those things anyway. From my point of view it's a necessary step toward realizing the Ultimate and once you have done that stuff and really basked in it, you can go for hardcore spiritual practice with little to no regrets.

[Freakrik]

11 minutes ago, Aspiraling Wizard said:

Everything you mention is ultimately the ego desperately fighting to maintain homeostasis. But you probably want to do those things anyway. From my point of view it's a necessary step toward realizing the Ultimate and once you have done that stuff and really basked in it, you can go for hardcore spiritual practice with little to no regrets.

Hahha It's probebly gonna Take a Long time for that. A Long long long long time. But Things like meditation can to good to make me more present when i am going to nature. I became more thankfull to be able to live this live. When it kickad in i experienced something that i can only describe uncanny beauty. It was beautyfull But it was something of about it. I realized how much i disliked this type of happieness. It was weird and i hated it. 

 

Edited February 23, 2019 by Freakrik

[DrewNows]

This. 

 

[Moreira]

Whenever I advance in spirituality i realize I want to move in the countryside with nature, and not game but set meaningful true relationships with few people. Your realizations were just your ego trying to defend themself.

[Freakrik]

22 minutes ago, Moreira said:

 Whenever I advance in spirituality i realize I want to move in the countryside with nature, and not game but set meaningful true relationships with few people. Your realizations were just your ego trying to defend themself.

Ah moving to the countryside That's the exact thing i realized i wanted to Move to "take me Home" made me realize that. And ofcourse i want to set true meaningful with a few ppl. But i am still Young and i need to find the ones i want to connect to. And game is the way for that plus i want to game for a couple of years. (If i Don't find a girl i click with) and if i break up Then back to game

Edited February 23, 2019 by Freakrik

[Highest]

What you want is to become conscious and aware of God. You don’t know it yet, but you will understand what I mean when it happens. You can be conscious of God and live life fully, experience duality fully. I do it all the time. Just how my reality is. 

[Aspiraling Wizard]

On 2/23/2019 at 2:40 PM, Freakrik said:

Hahha It's probebly gonna Take a Long time for that. A Long long long long time. But Things like meditation can to good to make me more present when i am going to nature. I became more thankfull to be able to live this live. When it kickad in i experienced something that i can only describe uncanny beauty. It was beautyfull But it was something of about it. I realized how much i disliked this type of happieness. It was weird and i hated it. 

 

It's ok that you hated it, that's a mostly natural reaction. Most survival agendas are in some way undermined significantly by Truth and Being. Keep going!