How can I keep my progress in social situations?

[DMM710]

Basically I want to get over my social anxiety. I want to make friends and date. I’ve been pushing myself to work every day (instead of just the weekends) it’s usually very uncomfortable for the first 3-4 hours but then I get really comfortable and socializing becomes effortless. 

Every day it’s the same thing though. I get there, I’m awkward for a while, I get in my head a lot, then eventually I feel confident and social.

I usually meditate before work, I’ve tried affirmations on my way to work, word association exercises... idk what to do. How can I maintain that feeling I get at the end of the night? It’s been 3-4 weeks and it’s still the same. I don’t feel like I’ve made a lot of progress.

[darind]

I did few things you do now, few years ago when I travelled to Birmingham to aproach strangers. 

Meditation is good, keep going. 

Try to develope mindfulness. Truly recomand - read more about that. 

If you have low self esteem than hit the gym.  Every technique is different for every unique individ. If your type is made to grow by paying with blood in the gym, then affirmation are ballshit.  If not then go for them cause are right. You must know better who you are. 

Social anxiety is an eazy issue to overcome. Take a look on YouTube. 

If you tried to overcome something and after few weeks or months you can t see results than try something else. Keep pushing. 

If you want to maintain 1 feelings for all day, that s not possible - get use with it. 

If you feel like didn't make a lot of progress, that s fine. Or you wanna get rich over night? 

If every day is the same than push your comfort zone harder. 

And take a break at last 1 time per week. Recharge your will power. 

[Knock]

First of all, I want to congratulate you on pushing yourself and gaining some great experience. Keep it up!
Eventually the length of the awkward phase will start to lessen, as you gain more confidence in what to say and how to present yourself.

As @darind suggests, doing things that empower how you see yourself is crucially important too. By taking care of yourself (grooming, cleaning your room, dressing smart, etc), you show to yourself that you are worth it, you are attractive, and you are a person of value. This is why something like going to the gym is so powerful, it proves to yourself that you are worth that 1hr you spent at the gym, that you are worth investing time into, and that you are becoming more and more powerful (not just physically but mentally too!)

In time, you will see yourself as someone who is inherently lovable. This is the 'self-love' or 'self-acceptance' that people frequently talk about. Once you embody this stage fully, your anxiety in social situations will lessen, as there is no threat to be anxious of. No matter the circumstance or consequence, at the end of the day you are still whole.  

But for now, keep doing what you are doing. This is a long journey, so don't expect results to come quickly. Take your time, there is no rush. When you are 70 years old in the year 2070 or whatever, it wouldn't matter if you overcome your social anxiety in the year 2019 or the year 2020 or the year 2025! Just keep consistent, results will come.

 

[darind]

On 22/02/2019 at 9:05 AM, Knock said:

 

As @darind suggests, doing things that empower how you see yourself is crucially important too. By taking care of yourself (grooming, cleaning your room, dressing smart, etc), you show to yourself that you are worth it, you are attractive, and you are a person of value. This is why something like going to the gym is so powerful, it proves to yourself that you are worth that 1hr you spent at the gym, that you are worth investing time into, and that you are becoming more and more powerful (not just physically but mentally too!)

So I guess that I was wrong saying that for some people affirmations are balshit.. Your words gave me some strong motivation few days ago when I didn't feel strong enough to do something.. Thanks. 

[Hellspeed]

Per example i don't have social anxiety, but i feel bored from the nonsense of society in general. Bored of consumerism, bored of technology. Only children have a more natural vibe around in the cities. The other part of society is quite boring for me and not to say annoying  

So if you want social interactions, just go in a city center and connect with random strangers at a spiritual level, do this as much as you want and can, until the trauma inside gets released. Just go sit on a bench with loads of people there and traffic, meditate with you eyes open and just relax. 

[Widdle Puppy]

I'm really afraid of socializing in clubs because I'm afraid people will think I'm weird or I'll look awkward or I'll start a conversation with someone and then I won't have anything to say and not know how to lead it.