Love & Belonging need

[tashawoodfall]

“Love & Belonging” one of the needs in maslows hierarchy - is it possible for you to fulfill this need yourself through self love or do we need intimate relationships in our lives to fulfill this human need? 

[Leo Gura]

@tashawoodfall The issue is, someone who hasn't satisfied the Love & Belonging need will not be capable of self-love. Or at least they will not believe that self-love can help because they think they need other-love.

So can you? Yes.

Will you? I wouldn't bet on it.

Learn to crawl before you fly. Self-love is much harder than finding someone else to love you. Self-love requires a lot of maturity and consciousness to execute.

Isn't it true that you hate yourself? Think about what it would take to never hate yourself again.

[TheAvatarState]

This is a tough one. I would be inclined to say yes, it's a set-in-stone need... but considering we're in a forum that takes enlightenment seriously, maybe it isn't so set-in-stone after all. Leo has said that if you can't be happy sitting alone on your couch doing nothing, then you'll never be truly happy. Also, in nondual understanding, you realize you're the only thing in existence. You're essentially all alone here, a phrase that will certainly cause a lot of confusion unless you know what it's pointing to. 

I feel like it's possible to be happy all alone, but there's still something missing in the equation... something primal. The strength of your relationships is known as one of the key indicators of a happy and successful life. Lately, I've woken up to the power of healing through the heart. We take the form of separate beings for a reason. We're here to share. There's something to that that can't be substituted or omitted (in the end). The 10th Ox herding picture is of the enlightened "buddha" man coming back to the town to spread love through his authentic laugh and smile. If you stopped at the 9th, what would be the point?? So back to your question, I think the spiritual path is one of learning to forego "love and belonging," to step into the belly of the whale all alone, but then to come back and share your wisdom. I think it is a need, and it speaks to who we are and what we're meant to do. But I think Maslow had it backwards in some sense. I don't think you need love and belonging to build your pyramid, although that certainly can help. But you need it to fulfill your purpose and come back. Not saying it's easy or the best way, but it can be done. I hope I didn't muddy the waters too much 

[Shin]

[tashawoodfall]

When I ask myself if I need anyone else my answer is no because I’ve gotten along well in the past completely by myself.  So then I thought well is this a desire and not a need? Then I thought yes perhaps so but then maslows hierarchy of “needs” came to mind and then I questioned again so is this a need or not?

And now I’m going in more circles ? So the answer is basically yes and then no and then yes and no and yes and no until finally if I’m graced with an enlightenment experience- it’ll be no.  

Because contribution in regards to life purpose and attaining fulfillment is naturally a factor...and because in the hero’s journey there is the belly of the beast time when you are alone facing yourself

and since the hero’s journey is a continuous pursuit in life because when one journey ends another begins... 

That is why the answer is first yes and no until...

 from a higher perspective/enlightenment perspective you realize it’s all just ‘me’ anyways but this ‘me’ is not what I’m experiencing right now and I’d be wrong to just say at this moment from my perspective of what “me” means that “it’s all just me.” ? lol anyway to not get too off track, I think I got my answer and it’s yes for me rn ?

Edited February 21, 2019 by tashawoodfall

[Shin]

Are you daydreaming about being in a relationship ?

Do you feel needy toward men you feel attracted to ?

[tashawoodfall]

When I look at maslows pyramid the two areas I feel I can improve on the most is love and belonging and transcendence I.e. I don’t have any real intimate relationships in my life currently (I’ve had them during periods in my life) and I don’t have any spiritual practices in place.  I do daydream about things including the possibility of being in a healthy interdependent relationship some day.  If I ask myself what needs should or must be met before I can get to that goal-love and belonging may need to be fulfilled first but I’m not so sure if this requires another person or a change in perspective/beliefs.

[tashawoodfall]

Some people fulfill their needs for love and belonging through comfort foods or a codependent relationship or toxic friendships that really aren’t good for them ? 

I guess the healthy ways to fulfill this need would be

1) through healthy relationships with others 

2) through self love which according to Leo requires you to not think you need love from others and requires a lot of maturity and consciousness

3) through contribution 

Edited February 21, 2019 by tashawoodfall

[Shin]

In time you will find that you just want to give, love is really about giving and appreciation.

Notice how the happiest figure in history were all about giving.

 

[darind]

@tashawoodfall In my case, like an example, I never felt love cause I had a hard life coming from a 3world country and fighting with clinical depression for most of my life, but through meditation and self development I ve realised the very importance of love and how powerful it is. And how necessary it is. But trying to develop self love I came to the conclusion that I Don t even know what love is. So can you fulfil the need by yourself, I think yes, but you need others love before.