How do I deal with "irrational" fear?

[howdoistopobsessing]

Hey Actualized.

I posted earlier this year about my problem with dating but feel like I wanted to take the wrong action (forgetting about women instead of solving the core problem). So basically, I have a fear that God/the universe will prevent any hookup attempts I make because either because of the sin of premarital sex, because of a cosmic change (since I've hooked up years ago), because He doesn't want me to be happy, or some other reason. I'm also the kind of person who considers the possibility of other consciousnesses not existing, so only me existing, and thus this stuff would only affect me since almost everyone around me hooks up with other people regularly or semi-regularly. I also have an issue that when I talk to someone, this worry gets to my head and I can't focus on what I'm saying and I just freeze up. I'm also afraid of making mistakes in the sense that someone asks me to do something and I won't know how to do it and feel like an idiot (sounds stupid but I am afraid of making of fool of myself in any (social) situation). Sounds like social anxiety but it's not so bad. I'm posting this in the mental health section because I'm diagnosed with psychosis or something since I had kind of a breakdown years ago when I was super germophobic because I thought that getting others sick with my germs would cause bad karma for me and thus the universe wouldn't let me hook up with any girl. The medication I'm on (Risperidone and Wellbutrin) completely solved the germophobia but this hook up and mistake problem still sticks. I've watched three of Leo's videos as a friend on Discord is helping me out and they're very interesting. I do want to expand my mind. Any input toward these issues will be appreciated.

[Equanimitize]

1 hour ago, howdoistopobsessing said:

I posted earlier this year about my problem with dating but feel like I wanted to take the wrong action (forgetting about women instead of solving the core problem). So basically, I have a fear that God/the universe will prevent any hookup attempts I make because either because of the sin of premarital sex, because of a cosmic change (since I've hooked up years ago), because He doesn't want me to be happy, or some other reason. I'm also the kind of person who considers the possibility of other consciousnesses not existing, so only me existing, and thus this stuff would only affect me since almost everyone around me hooks up with other people regularly or semi-regularly. I also have an issue that when I talk to someone, this worry gets to my head and I can't focus on what I'm saying and I just freeze up. I'm also afraid of making mistakes in the sense that someone asks me to do something and I won't know how to do it and feel like an idiot (sounds stupid but I am afraid of making of fool of myself in any (social) situation). Sounds like social anxiety but it's not so bad. I'm posting this in the mental health section because I'm diagnosed with psychosis or something since I had kind of a breakdown years ago when I was super germophobic because I thought that getting others sick with my germs would cause bad karma for me and thus the universe wouldn't let me hook up with any girl. The medication I'm on (Risperidone and Wellbutrin) completely solved the germophobia but this hook up and mistake problem still sticks. I've watched three of Leo's videos as a friend on Discord is helping me out and they're very interesting. I do want to expand my mind. Any input toward these issues will be appreciated.

There seems like there is a lot going on here. 

If you don't meditate, that's a good start. You are obsessing because you think you are your thoughts, when you are not. 

Find a good therapist if you have the money/opportunity to speak about some of these things. 

...& keep moving towards that which is uncomfortable.